Reading-Notes: Communicators liv
I want to say, the summaries which I am going to write down, are little chicken-souply. But even the chicken soup is better than the horrible saying. So let us say something positively to ourselves, and get more self-confidence~ So communicators live what they communicate. On other hands, we live like what we say, what we think, what we agree, what we believe, and so on. You don't need to clarify how it is happened? But you need to know that is true. When I was a student, I read a book 《The Secret》, which was talking about the law of attraction. For that we may not know weather is true or not, but it is happened all the time.
Now, let's begin with an example. If your current leader is good at communicate, and who is connected with people like you, what do you feel? Will you liste? Will you believe? Will you follow? Even, I want to ask, do you think is like as the Honey-Moon, don't you? So if the people communicate well, we may get hopeness. If the people communicate bad, we may get hopelessness.
we live like what we say
And, why has it happened like that? The answer is CREDIBILITY!
Credibility is currency for leaders and communicators. With it, they are solvent, without it, they are bankrupt.
Mostly, at the first six months, the communication overrides the credibility. After the six months, the credibility overrides the communication. and the meaning for credibility is the quality of deservingto be trusted. So, when we trust others, or we are trusted, that will be prefect! All things can happen possibly! And the trust can means confidence.
Eventually who you really are will show through, onstage, at work, or at home. So if you want to connect well with people, you must become the kind of person you would like to connect with. And the relationship we have with others are largely determined by the relationship we have with ourselves.
What If you are not accepting of who you are, If you do not know your own strengths and weakness, If you are uncomfortable with yourselves, the attempts we make to connect with others will usually misfire.
How can you connect with others on common ground if you don't know and like yourself? How can you see others clearly if you have an unclear view of yourself? Those are the tough questions, right? But we'd better think about it.
Once we know ourselves and like ourselves and feel comfortable with ourselves, then we are open to knowing others, liking them, and feeling comfortable with them, and then we have the potential to connect with them.
The first step toward connecting with ourselves is knowing ourselves.
Do we really know ourselves? If we want to connect with ourselves, we need to become Self-Aware, and know that comes from Self-Assessment.
The second step comes from liking ourselves.
For this step which comes from Self-Talking. There is a saying from a master motivator, The most influential person who will talk to you all day, is you. So we should be very careful about what we say to us. Even the truth is we are not prefect, we have our weakness, but just like I shared before, we have to accept that, that is us, if we can not change it, we still can live with it.
For me I have many weakness, sometimes I act too selfish, sometime I am not nice enough, sometime I could be very jealousy, sometimes I don't share anything, and I am afraid of too many things, I even loss my temper many times for a day. But I know I am good enough, I have the ability to be a good communicator, I love reading, I love learning, I have passion, and I am good at listening, especially I am young enough to learn everything, to starte new life! Yes! That is good enought!
Knowing our self better and liking oureslves more, are the cheapest way to improve ourselves. So, why not?
We make mistakes every day, such as wake up late, speak in the wrong way with customers, do not share more time with our family members, and so on.
To be human is to mess up! (which means to spoil or ruin something, especially something important or something that has been carefully planned) To connect, we must fess up! (which means to admitthat you have done something wrong, although it is not very serious)
And when our actions hurt others, especially someone who loves us so much, we must admit that what we did was wrong and say sorry. We could not trun back the clock, but we could do everything in our power to make amends.
When we make a commitment, we creat hope. When we keep a commitment, we creat trust.
You can not speak that which you do not know. You can not share that which you do not feel. You can not translate that which you do not have. And you can not give that which you do not possess. To give it and to share it, and for it to be effective, you first need to have it, you first need to live it.
If you are not willing to try to live something, you probably should not try to communicate it. That does not mean we have to try to be pervect, perhapes not, and we can not be.
To be persuasive we must be believable, to be believable we must be credible, to be credible we must be truthful.
Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most diffcult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves. When I realized that others knew more things than I do, and could do more things than I do, that is freed me to take off my mask.
In WSE, I was good at warming up the new people, later, I found I can not make a good communication with everyone, I even could not talk with someone well. Finally, I know that I am not that good at warming them up, but warming my friends up. So I don't worry that any more, because what I really want is to practice my English, not warm new students up, If warm them up can do me more lessones, then I try my best to do, but if not, I don't do it. And then I started to treat myself more kindly, I asked myself about the painful, and try to understand me better. I believe I will not need to dress up the mask for many times.
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