春梅书房琴谱英语原创纪实与文学作品

《一条大河》英译 A Mighty River

2021-06-14  本文已影响0人  Uncle_Sam

译者的话:

群里和网上可以看到很多《一条大河》的英文版,总觉得有些问题,要么用词稚嫩,要么中式表达,要么罔顾语法和文法,要么对原文篡改太多。

比如这首,质量尚可,但也有些不当之处,比如将"是我生长的地方"译为"Where I live my life"。这是中式英语,况且唱此歌时是在朝鲜战场上,已不在国内,时态已变,应该用一般过去时了。当然如果按照一般过去时翻译,译成"Where I lived my life",时态是对了,但意思吓人,意思是"我活着的时候",呜呼!

笔者认为,这是一首老家在江苏长江(可能是江阴、南京、扬州等地)沿岸的志愿军战士在战地间隙,给战友讲述家乡的风物,口吻、语气和内容均应如实体现。作曲者和作词者乔羽和刘炽者介绍创作动机时,就是这样说的。因此一时兴起,决定自行翻译此歌。

更愿以此译献给母校内蒙古师范大学和中国新闻学院,献给师友,写给同好!水平就这样了,有待以后持续更新。

A Mighty River

"Tis a broad river, rolling away in big waves.

The air is scented of rice flowers when the wind sweeps across the river.

My home sits right on the bank,

So I was wont to listen to the songs of boatmen,

And watch the white sails of boats gliding down the river, 

Such is my beautiful motherland where I grew up.

On this vast land I see beautiful sceneries all around.

The lasses are pretty as flowers, and the lads're of broad and generous souls.

To get more farmland, we jostle lofty mountains from their deep slumber,

And bend the courses of capricious rivers.   

Such is my heroic motherland where I grew up.

This ancient land always exudes the vigour of youth.

Such wonderful land, such wonderful rivers,

Such wide and spacious roads and ways!

When friends come from afar, we have the choicest wine to present to,

Dare wolves come, we have hunting guns to greet them with.

Such is my strong motherland where I grew up,

A warm land where peaceful sunrays are strewn all around.

原文

一条大河波浪宽风吹稻花香两岸

我家就在岸上住听惯了艄公的号子看惯了船上的白帆

这是美丽的祖国是我生长的地方

在这片辽阔的土地上到处都有明媚的风光

姑娘好象花儿一样小伙儿心胸多宽广

为了开辟新天地唤醒了沉睡的高山让那河流改变了模样

这是英雄的祖国是我生长的地方

在这片古老的土地上到处都有青春的力量

好山好水好地方条条大路都宽敞

朋友来了有好酒若是那豺狼来了迎接它的有猎枪

这是强大的祖国是我生长的地方

在这片温暖的土地上到处都有和平的阳光

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