再撩猫奴：天生臭脸但身价过万的网红

2017-08-30 本文已影响921人妥爷斯基

劳资就是这么不爽。网图 ©

原文|grumpycat official website & other website

乱译| 中外物語（自行关注，欢迎欢迎）；不当之处，敬请指正！

图片| © grumpy cat's profiles website & attached websites

今日主角：不爽猫/暴躁猫/臭脸猫（grumpy cat）

Grumpy Cat became an internet sensation after her photo was posted on Reddit on September 22, 2012. It was suggested that the original photo was photoshopped, so we posted a few videos on YouTube. The videos went viral and her popularity has continued to increase!

不爽猫（又叫暴躁猫，我觉得叫臭脸猫也不错）成为网红的时间是2012年9月22日（想知道“网红”的英文表达么？请看原文中黑体单词），当时这货不过是只五个月大的喵星人，真是应验了张爱玲阿姨的那句名言——出名真特么要趁早。起初，不爽猫的照片被上传到Reddit（一个社交新闻站点），没想到很快就涌来大量喵奴捧场。想成为网红可不能单靠美颜照骗，上传一些短视频效果更好！这萌货的走红路线就基于这么两条：一是美颜照骗，二是秒拍视频。果不出所料，这萌货的形象在网上不胫而走，俘获了众多猫奴的善心，几乎一夜之间红遍了大江南北。

We aren't exactly sure about Grumpy Cats breed; but she looks nothing like her mother or father. She looks similar to a Ragdoll or Snowshoe; but there have never been any of that breed around the house. Her mom is a calico domestic short hair cat and her father has grey and white stripes. (Though I suppose there could be a different father, promiscuous cats you know...)

不爽猫的主人并不确定这萌货是个啥品种，反正它爹妈长得都挺周正，可这货一生下来就自带一张臭脸；欲做网红，天生臭脸——大概就是这意思。要说这萌货的长相，大概最接近布偶猫或雪鞋猫，因为这两个品种的喵星人是卖萌的小专家。但喵主家压根儿就没有布偶猫或雪鞋猫这两个品种，它妈咪是一只纯种花斑短毛喵，它爹是一只灰白条纹色家喵，思前想后都不可能生出这么个萌货来。（喵主怀疑不爽猫的爹另有其喵，谁知道呢，喵星人的私生活可特么乱着呢！）

Tardar Sauce visites the vet regularly and she has a clean bill of health. Her petite size and famous face is likely due to feline dwarfism and her rear end wobbles a bit when she walks due to this; otherwise she is a perfect little kitty! She is not a munchkin cat and was not bred purposefully from other munchkin cats. (We don't breed kitty's and her parents are normal sized domestic short hair cats.)

名不正则言不顺。别以为名字只是个代号，岂不闻“名如其人”乎。于是乎，喵主给这萌货起了个西班牙风格的名字——塔妲·索斯（为啥名字译出个“妲”字呢？想想传说中的妲己，多么勾魂啊；敢情妲己是西班牙人啊？）。可别小看了这只萌货，人家可是有“健康证”的喵，三天两头去宠物医院做个小检查啥的，且让人操心着呢！上帝关上一扇门的同时，准会再打开一扇窗。这话用在塔妲身上一点都不为过。别看这萌货娇小可人，长相个性，而且走起路来屁股扭扭晃晃，绝不是它有意卖弄风骚，其实全是猫科动物侏儒症给害的。要是不得这么个怪病，这萌货定能成为网红界的“扛把子”，简直堪称完美。它不是天生黏人的“小妖精”，也不是刻意繁育出来的新品种。（喵主并不负责培育喵品种；塔妲的父母其实都很正常，没有哪一方是猫科侏儒患者。）

Also, a quick note on Grumpy Cat's wellbeing. We take great care of Tardar Sauce; 99% of the time she is a normal kitty. She plays, hides, and acts as cats act. (She LOVES to hide behind the curtains!) She isn't in front of a camera all of the time like many people perceive. We only take photos sets once every week or so and on the few occasions where we have met with the media or licensed partners we ensure the sessions are short and that she isn't handled by many people. Tardar Sauce is a member of the family before anything else!

顺便爆料一下塔妲妞儿的“隐私”吧！喵主对塔妲的照料可谓尽心尽力，现实生活中这萌货很少摆网红的臭架子，更多是扮演一只普通喵星人的角色，就好玩个“躲猫猫”之类的游戏（这萌货最喜欢藏在窗帘后面！）。它并不像粉丝们想的那样经常在镜头前面摆弄各种姿势臭美。喵主爆料塔妲的“隐私”，但绝不会拿它当成是“摇钱树”。它出镜的频率以周计算，隔段时间给它拍些套图，想在媒体上曝光它的“另一面”，还得走一些保护程序。网红毕竟也是名人嘛，就算你是CNN，也不能说拍就拍，不是么！而且，喵主也怕公众场合有太多的“咸喵手”，给它摸得更加不爽哒，回到家大发脾气，哄乖它可费劲啦！想撩它？哼，撩喵也要看主人，更何况人家还是只网红喵，哪能说撩就撩？网红以外，“她”不过是喵主一家庭成员而已（再红也不能忘了本呀）！

关于不爽猫的各种影视作品（根据加菲猫的形象联想一下，肯定能笑死人不偿命），各种商品、特别是绒毛玩具，动画形象等等，早就成为让人爱不释手的“摇钱树”啦（到底是谁“摇”谁？）！本文内容大多选自这萌货的衍生品官网，感兴趣的喵友可去一探究竟。曾看新闻上说，这只萌喵的身价早就过万了，希望可怜巴巴的打工仔不要眼红哈！做个网红也不容易，大家多关注就是了。其实不爽猫不过是一只可怜的萌货而已！

各位喵奴有话说？请到后台留言——吴侬软语，唇枪舌剑，屎壳郎打喷嚏，全都欢迎！

下面是几个常见问题，大概“不爽粉”们经常问到，喵主就做了个简单的问答。

Q: HOW OLD IS GRUMPY CAT?

A: She was born on April 4, 2012.

问：不爽猫多大啦？

答：“她”诞生于2012年4月4日。（谁说“4”是个不吉利数字？这萌货不是还成网红了么？）

Q: CAN I MEET GRUMPY CAT?

A: For the safety of our family and that of Grumpy Cat we do not do personal meetings. We will be having select public appearances and these will be announce on our website and via social media.

问：可否一睹塔妲芳容？（哈，天生臭脸，谈何芳容？即便一睹臭脸，终生无憾啊！）

答：哥们儿，想啥呢？俺们家妞儿不随便见客好么？俺们担心喵家的安全问题，毕竟，你懂的，那么多“咸喵手”。俺们会有选择性地在公众场合露个面，想一睹“芳容”的喵粉，可关注官网和媒体最新消息。

Q: DOES GRUMPY CAT TRAVEL WELL?

A: Grumpy Cat is the most calm kitty we have ever come across! She travels perfectly fine and is extremely calm when traveling. We have only traveled with her on a few occasions and she usually just sleeps in the soft bed in her pet carrier.

问：不爽猫外出时会表现得“不爽”么？

答：一点也不！偶尔外出，它会像个特别懂事的宝宝一样给足喵主面子。一旦外出，它通常都在宠物篮里呼呼大睡，几乎是那种一觉醒来都不知道外面发生了什么的那种萌货。

Q: WHAT BREED IS GRUMPY CAT?

A: She is a mixed breed; but looks to have some Persian, Ragdoll, or Snowshoe in her line.

问：这萌货到底什么品种？

答：不妨就说是“混血”吧！具体点说，它是波斯猫、布偶猫或雪鞋猫的“综合体”，剩余部分请自行补脑。

Q: CAN GRUMPY CAT WALK? IS SHE A 'MUNCHKIN'?

A: YES! Grumpy Cat can walk fine, albeit with a wobble in her back end sometimes. She has feline dwarfism and her back legs are a bit different, which is why you see her often sitting in an odd position. Also, she was not bred to be a munchkin cat. She was born from two normal domestic cats.

问：不爽猫能正常走路吗？“她”到底是不是个“磨人的小妖精”？

答：当然，它走路很正常；虽然后臀有些疑似卖弄风骚的摇摆，但并不影响正常行走。因为受到猫科侏儒症困扰，所以它的后腿看起来不大正常，而且坐姿也有些古怪。它并不是个刻意繁育出来的“磨人的小妖精”。它的父母都是非常正常的家猫。

（此处说明一下，munchkin这个单词在本文中不大好翻译，因为它的本意大概不是用来形容“小妖精”的。为了迎合网红的特征，用网络语言译为“磨人的小妖精”，可能有些不妥，还望行家批评指正！）

Q: ARE YOU BREEDING GRUMPY CAT? WHERE CAN I GET A CAT LIKE YOURS?

A: Sorry, we aren't breeding her; but there are many cute kitties available in shelters around the world! Check your local shelter.

问：喵主会繁育不爽猫这个“品种”么？我特么也想拥有一只不爽猫啊！

答：索瑞啦！喵主不干这种事儿。想养喵，干吗非要盯上俺家的不爽啊？可爱而又磨人的小妖精且多着呢！

Q: ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING TO HELP OTHER PETS?

A: Yes! We help by donating directly shelters that help save animals!

问：喵主还做些救助其他宠物的工作么？

答：对头！俺们可是正儿八经的“动物爱好者协会”的，别当着咱家的面吃喵啊汪啊的哈！说你呢，特别是天上飞的地上跑的河里游的都不放过的广东银（哈哈，调戏一下广东银，看到的亲们别生气哈）。

Q: WHY IS GRUMPY CAT SO GRUMPY?