Book	Reading Part @July 17, 2017
Stephen R. Covey	Paradigms of Interdependence, P195-214

Reflection:

今天这部分的“情感账户”其实对我来讲并不陌生，但是其中有关“正直诚信”部分的解析让我有了新的认识。我们或多或少都有过在好友面前说别人坏话的经历，可是今天当我看到作者的这段描写后，真是忍不住惭愧+汗颜。。。警醒自己！

Summary:

群体的互赖关系须以个人真正的独立为先决条件。我们可以通过建立“情感账户”并持续性的往里储蓄以下几种品质：理解他人（understanding the individual）、注重小节（attending to the little things）、信守承诺（keeping commitments）、明确期望（clarifying expectations）、正直诚信（showing personal integrity）、勇于致歉（apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawal）、以及无条件的爱（unconditional love），借此收获人际交往关系过程中不可或缺的信任和安全感。

此外，作者还提出了一种新的面对问题的态度，即问题的反面是契机（every P problem is a PC opportunity）。当问题出现时，改变你面对问题的态度，将其视为一种机会，积极主动的就问题进行良性沟通，无形中也让双方的相互依赖关系更进一步。

English Summary:

As we learned before, private victory precedes public victory, which means that effective interdependence can only be built on a foundation of true independence that is the focus of Habits 1, 2 and 3. As we become independent - proactive, centered in correct principles, value driven and able to organize and execute around the priorities in our life with integrity, we then can choose to become interdependent - capable of building rich, enduring, highly productive relationships with other people.

Therefore, the author introduces "the Emotional Bank Account", which is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust built up in a relationship, and the feeling of safeness with another human beings. There are six major deposits we can do to build our emotional bank account, which includes but goes beyond 1) understanding the individual, 2) attending to the little things, 3) keeping commitments, 4) clarifying expectations, 5) showing personal integrity, and 6) apologizing sincerely when you make a withdrawal. Furthermore, the key to resolve rebellion is to make constant deposits of unconditional love as we can.

We have learned the P/PC Balance from the fable "the golden eggs". In an interdependent situation, the golden eggs are the effectiveness, the wonderful synergy, the results created by open communication and positive interaction with others. And to get those eggs on a regular basis, we need to take care of the goose. We need to create and care for the relationships that make those results realities. Therefore, the author suggests that in an interdependent situation, every P problem is a PC opportunity - a chance to build the Emotional Bank Accounts that significantly affect interdependent production.

* Words and Expressions: *

She gives me the third degree every time I’m away.

third degree, informal: a long and intense period of questioning 疲劳询问，酷刑逼供；
e.g. Most rebellious teenagers can't bear their parents' third degree every time when they are late home.

注意区别表示程度 third-degree, adj [always used before a noun], 1) US, of a crime : of the least serious level : deserving the mildest punishment, 美国刑法重罪（felony）程度，三级最轻，一级最重；2) causing severe injury，三度
e.g. third-degree felony 三级重罪；third-degree burns 三度烧伤

But if I have a habit of showing discourtesy, disrespect, cutting you off, overreacting, ignoring you, becoming arbitrary, betraying your trust, threatening you, or playing little tin god in your life, eventually my Emotional Bank Account is overdrawn.

little tin god, [Idiom] A self important, dictatorial person；自命不凡的人
e.g. My attraction for him waned after he spent the entire evening acting like a little tin god.

Remember that quick fix is a mirage.

mirage, n [countable], 1) an effect caused by hot air in a desert, which makes you think that you can see objects when they are not actually there; 海市蜃楼；2) a dream, hope, or wish that cannot come true [ SYN: illusion ]; 幻想，妄想

e.g. dessert mirage 海市蜃楼（是自然发生的光学现象，它将光线偏折而在遥远的距离或天空中生成虚像。在大气科学中称为蜃景。）相对于幻觉，海市蜃楼是一种真实的光学现象，由于观测到的位置是由实际光线折射形成的虚像，它可以用照相机来捕捉影像。然而，会出现甚么样的影像全由人类心灵解释的能力来确定。例如，在地面的上蜃景非常容易被误认为来自一小片水洼的反射。

英文中的这个字源自拉丁文的mirare，再经由法文的mirage而来，意思是「看见的奇景」，也就是海市蜃楼。这与「mirror」和「to admire」有着相同的字根。

Instead of a sore spot, it became a source of joy and strength to both father and son.

sore spot, or sore point, sore subject, (with somebody), something that is likely to make someone upset or angry when you talk about it; 痛处
e.g. Obviously it's so impolite to talk about other persons' sore spots in public.

* Catch Phrases: *

Integrity includes but goes beyond honesty. 包括但不仅仅

I’ll sweet-talk you to your face and bad-mouth you behind your back. 人前一套，背后一套

When my son Joshua was quite young, he would frequently ask me a soul-searching question. 深思；真挚的自我反省

When I first came across Hammarskjold’s statement, I was working in an organization where there were unclear expectations between the individual who was my right-hand man and myself. 得力助手