我从肥皂剧里学到的人生道理
介绍:肥皂剧剧情往往跌宕起伏,看似超出实际生活,但它又来源于实际生活。本期TED演讲者Kate Adams女士认为我们能从被生活忙得团团转的角色身上学到四个重要的人生道理。
it's never too late to change your story
lesson1:surrender is not an option 投降不是选择
肥皂剧:"All My Children"《我们的孩子》
"All My Children"'s Erica Kane was daytime's version of Scarlett O'Hara, a hyperbolically self-important princess who deep down was scrappy and daring. Now, in her 41 years on TV, perhaps Erica's most famous scene is her alone in the woods suddenly face to face with a grizzly bear. She screamed at the bear, "You may not do this! Do you understand me? You may not come near me! I am Erica Kane and you are a filthy beast!"
《我的孩子们》的艾瑞卡卡恩是电视版的斯佳丽奥哈拉,一个夸张、以自我为中心的公主她的内心深处是好斗和大胆。艾瑞卡在她41年的电视生涯中,可能是最出名的场景就是:她独自在森林里突然和一个灰熊面对面。她朝灰熊大喊:“你不能这样!你听不懂吗? 你不能靠近我!我是艾瑞卡卡恩 而你是一个卑劣的野兽!
金句:obstacles are to be expected and we can choose to surrender or we can stand and fight(人生总会有障碍但我们可以选择投降,或者站出来斗争)
现实例子:Pandora's Tim Westergren knows this better than most. You might even call him the Erica Kane of Silicon Valley. Tim and his cofounders launched the company with two million dollars in funding. They were out of cash the next year. Now, lots of companies fold at that point, but Tim chose to fight. He maxed out 11 credit cards and racked up six figures in personal debt and it still wasn't enough. So every two weeks for two years on payday he stood in front of his employees and he asked them to sacrifice their salaries, and it worked. More than 50 people deferred two million dollars, and now, more than a decade later, Pandora is worth billions.
潘多拉的蒂姆韦斯特格伦最了解这个道理。你甚至可以叫他硅谷的艾瑞卡卡恩。 蒂姆和其他联合创始人集资了两百万,成立公司。但他们在第二年就用光了资金。很多公司都在那个时候放弃,但是蒂姆选择斗争。他刷爆11张信用卡,背负了六位数的债务,但这还不够。两年来每两周发工资的那天,他都会站在他的员工前请求他们放弃他们的工资,这有了成效。超过50个人贡献了两百万美金,现在,十多年后。潘多拉的估值高达几十亿。
金句:When you believe that there is a way around or through whatever is in front of you, that surrender is not an option, you can overcome enormous obstacles.(当你相信有办法可以解决你眼前所面对的任何问题时,投降不是一个选择,你可以克服巨大的障碍。)
lesson 2: sacrifice your ego and drop the superiority complex 放下你的自大和高人一等的情绪
肥皂剧:"The Bold and the Beautiful"《大胆而美丽》
"The Bold and the Beautiful" thought she was pretty darn special. She thought she was so special, she didn't need to mix with the riffraff from the valley, and she made sure valley girl Brooke knew it. But after nearly 25 years of epic fighting,Stephanie got sick and let Brooke in.They made amends, archenemies became soul mates and Stephanie died in Brooke's arms。
《大胆而美丽》的斯坦芬尼福瑞斯特 认为她自己非常特殊。她觉得她特殊到不需要和来自村庄的普通人往来,她还警告村庄的女孩布鲁克要知道这点。但是在快25年的史诗般的斗争后,斯坦芬尼生病了,让布鲁克进入了她的内心。她们重修旧好,從敌人变成了灵魂伴侣,最后斯坦芬尼死在布鲁克的怀里。
鸡汤:Drop your ego. Life is not about you. It's about us, and our ability to experience joy and love and to improve our reality comes only when we make ourselves vulnerable and we accept responsibility for our actions and our inactions。(放下你的自大。人生谈的不是你,人生谈的我们,谈的是我们享受快乐、爱情和改善现状的能力,只有在我们最脆弱的时候,承担起我们所作所为的责任以及不作为的责任。)
现实例子:Howard Schultz, the CEO of Starbucks.after a great run as CEO, Howard stepped down in 2000, and Starbucks quickly overextended itself and stock prices fell. Howard rejoined the team in 2008, and one of the first things he did was apologize to all 180,000 employees. He apologized. And then he asked for help, honesty, and ideas in return. And now, Starbucks has more than doubled its net revenue since Howard came back。
霍华德舒尔茨,星巴克的CEO,
在結束了偉大的CEO任职后,霍华德在2000年辞职,但星巴克因迅速地过度扩张,造成股价下跌。霍华德在2008年重新加入团队,他做的第一件事,就是向18万员工道歉。他向员工道歉,并寻求帮助、真诚和建议。现在,自从霍华德归队后,星巴克的净利润超过两倍。
鸡汤:So sacrifice your desire to be right or safe all the time. It's not helping anyone, least of all you. Sacrifice your ego.(放下自己对正确和安全的渴望,並不会帮助到任何人,也帮不了自己。放下你的自大。)
lesson 3:evolution is real 进化是現实的
肥皂剧:On television, static equals boring and boring equals fired. Characters are supposed to grow and change. Now, on TV, those dynamic changes can make for some rough transitions, particularly when a character is played by one person yesterday and played by someone new today. Recasting happens all the time on soaps.Over the last 20 years, four different actors have played the same key role of Carly Benson on "General Hospital." Each new face triggered a change in the character's life and personality. Now,there was always an essential nugget of Carly in there, but the character and the story adapted to whomever was playing her.
在电视圈,一层不变意味着无聊,无聊意味着随时会被解雇。角色应该有成长和变化。在电视上,那些充滿變數的改变,可以创造出一些剧烈的转变,特别是当一个角色昨天是一个演员,今天却是另一个演员。在肥皂剧里,角色重塑是很常见的。过去的20年里,四个不同的演员都扮演过 《综合医院》的重要角色,卡莉本森。 每一个崭新的脸庞都引发了角色的生活和人格的变化。虽然卡莉的本质还在,但是角色和故事都要适应扮演她的人。
鸡汤:we may not swap faces in our own lives, we can evolve too.We can choose to draw a circle around our feet and stay in that spot, or we can open ourselves to opportunities。(然我们不能在生活中变换面容,但我们可以进化。我们可以选择画地自限,或者我们可以向机会敞开心扉)
现实例子:Julia, her books and her TV shows revolutionized the way America cooks. Julia was a World War II spy, and when the war ended, she got married, moved to France, and decided to give culinary school a shot. Julia, her books and her TV shows revolutionized the way America cooks.
卡莉,从一个护士专业学生变成酒店业主,像朱莉娅查尔得,是一个二战间谍,当战争结束候,她结了婚、搬到法国,并决定去烹饪学校学习。朱莉娅,她的书和电视节目颠覆了美国烹饪的方式。
鸡汤:We all have the power to initiate change in our lives, to evolve and adapt. We make the choice, but sometimes life chooses for us, and we don't get a heads up. Surprise slams us in the face. You're flat on the ground, the air is gone, and you need resuscitation. (我们在生活中,都有启动改变的能力,为了进化和适应环境,我们做出选择,但有时候我们不得不向生活低头,意外扇了你一个耳光,你躺在地板上,不知所措,你需要恢復知觉。)
lesson 4 : resurrection is possible 重生是有可能的
肥皂剧:"Days of Our Lives"'《我们的日子》
In 1983, "Days of Our Lives"' Stefano DiMera died of a stroke, but not really, because in 1984 he died when his car plunged into the harbor, and yet he was back in 1985 with a brain tumor. But before the tumor could kill him, Marlena shot him, and he tumbled off a catwalk to his death. And so it went for 30 years.Even when we saw the body, we knew better. He's called the Phoenix for a reason.As long as the show is still on the air, or you're still breathing, nothing is permanent.Resurrection is possible.
1983年,《我们的日子》的斯特凡诺德米拉死于中风,但那不是真的,因为在1984年他因车子掉进海港而死亡,但是他在1985年带着脑瘤复活了。在肿瘤杀死他之前,马里拉朝他开枪,他摔进狭窄巷道死亡。而这花了30年。当我们看到他的尸体,我们很清楚,他被称作凤凰是有原因的。这对我们的意义是,只要剧还在播出,或者你还在呼吸。没什么是不变的。重生是有可能的。
现实的例子:CBS canceled my show, "As The World Turns," in December 2009, and we shot our final episode in June 2010. It was six months of dying and I rode that train right into the mountain. And even though we were in the middle of a huge recession and millions of people were struggling to find work, I somehow thought everything would be OK. So I packed up the kids and the Brooklyn apartment, and we moved in with my in-laws in Alabama.Three months later, nothing was OK. That was when I watched the final episode air, and I realized the show was not the only fatality. I was one too. I was unemployed and living on the second floor of my in-laws' home, and that's enough to make anyone feel dead inside.But I knew my story wasn't over, that it couldn't be over. I just had to tap into everything I had ever learned about soap operas. I had to be brave like Erica and refuse to surrender, so every day, I made a decision to fight. I had to be vulnerable like Stephanie and sacrifice my ego. I had to ask for help a lot of times across many states. I had to be adaptable like Carly and evolve my skills, my mindset, and my circumstances, and then I had to be resilient, like Stefano, and resurrect myself and my career like a phoenix from the ashes. Eventually I got an interview. After 15 years in news and entertainment, nine months of unemploymentand this one interview, I had an offer for an entry level job. I was 37 years old and I was back from the dead.
CBS在2009年12月取消了我的肥皂剧——《地球照转》,我们在2010年6月,录制了最后一集。在那痛苦的六个月当中,我的人生看不到光明。即使我们的经济仍在衰退,百万人挣扎着寻找工作,但我觉得一切都会变好。我带着孩子,离开布鲁克林的公寓,和亲家一起 居住在阿拉巴马州。三个月后,没有好转的迹象。在我看了最后一集的播出後, 我意识到不仅那个电视剧结束了, 我也失业了。 我没有了工作,住在亲家的二楼。 真的有够难受的。但是我知道我的故事还没有结束, 也不会结束。 我只要运用我从肥皂剧 里学到的所有东西。 我要像艾瑞卡一样勇敢并拒绝投降。 所以每天,我都会做一个斗争的决定。 我要像斯坦芬尼一样脆弱, 放下自大。 我要在很多州寻求很多帮助。 我需要像卡莉一样善于适应 并进化我的技能、思考和境遇, 然后我还要像斯特凡诺一样顽强, 使我自己和我的职业重生 就像凤凰涅槃一样。最后,我得到了一个面试。 在新闻和娱乐界工作了15年, 失业了9个月 在这次面试之后, 我得到了一个入门级别的工作机会, 我当时已经37岁, 我复活重生。
鸡汤:as long as there is breath in your body, it's never too late to change your story.(只要你还有一口气在, 改变你的故事永远不会太晚。)
关于演讲方式的思考
12分钟4个lessons,每节课先引用一个经典的肥皂剧情节/主人公,引发观众/听众的共鸣;之后抛出一句心灵鸡汤;然后举一个真实的例子来论证之前的说法是正确的,接着也要抛出一个再次强调论点的鸡汤。如此反复,至结束。
经典情节可以更换为故事、电影、文学作品等(切记要家喻户晓,大众熟知,这样才会有共鸣,引发进一步沟通的热情)。
例子最好为名人的(这样比较有信服力,名人效应),或自己的(比较有可信性)。
鸡汤一定要和内容契合度高,且简单易懂,容易记。