译丨当你不爽时，7个有效方法让你远离抱怨

原文题目：Instead of Complaining: 7 More Productive Things to Do When You’re Annoyed

来源：reader's digest

作者：Lisa Cohen

译丨丙丁兔

原文链接：http://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/stop-complaining/1/

初次翻译，译文仅供学习交流，如有不正确之处，欢迎简信或评论交流。P.S.雅思口语中关于压力的话题，原文中很多经验建议可以作为答案素材。

1.想想积极的一面

比如，你可能又遇到堵车了。（内心活动：这还有法回家么。。）但换个思维想：你现在有时间去查看一下你一直想听的播客节目了。再比如，大雨让你的周末计划泡了汤？那至少你明天不用浇草坪了喔！

“想想这些烦心事中积极、幽默的那一面，”纽约职业人生导师萨曼莎·博库里·约翰逊博士说，“问问你自己怎样能把这件事变得有趣、有益，哪怕是暂时的。”

1. Look for the positive

Sure, you might be stuck in traffic. (Will. I. Ever. Move. Again?) But now you have some extra time to listen to that podcast you’ve been meaning to check out. Annoyed that rain ruined your weekend plans? At least you won’t need to water the lawn tomorrow.“Think about what might be positive or humorous about the situation,”suggests Samantha Berkule Johnson, PhD, a board-certified life coach in New York City.“Ask yourself how can you make it fun or beneficial, at least for the time being.”

2.冥想

约翰逊博士说：“每天哪怕5-10分钟的静坐、深呼吸、清空大脑，都可以帮助你减轻焦虑和压力。”

一份发表在《人格与社会心理学》期刊上的研究发现，每日冥想试验的参加者能够逐渐体验到更多的积极情绪。放下你的手机，从任何可以让你抱怨的事情中放一个小假，这会帮助你重启情绪，甚至产生崭新的、积极的想法。

2. meditate

“Even five to 10 minutes each day of quiet sitting, deep breathing, and clearing your mind can help alleviate anxiety and stress,”says Dr. Johnson. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that participants who meditated daily experienced more positive emotions over time. Ditch your phone and take a tiny vacation from anything complaint-worthy. It will help you reboot and may even lead to a new, positive outlook.

3.关注不爽情绪的原因

“含糊而又大泛泛的抱怨，通常与一些没有办法解决的问题有关，”心理治疗师、心理学博士丽萨·M·朱利亚诺在psychologyToday网站上写道。假如你抱怨家里一团乱，可能你真正烦恼的问题是孩子们搞乱了房间却不收拾。抱怨你的老板是个混蛋？你很有可能是在懊恼会议开得太久导致误了火车。准确找到产生不爽情绪的真实原因，这是找到解决之道的第一步。

3.Hone in on why you feel prickly

“Vague, general complaints usually refer to problems that have no solution,” psychotherapist Lisa M. Juliano, PsyD, writes onPsychologyToday.com. If you’re complaining that your house is a mess, maybe the real issue is that yourkids aren’t cleaning up after themselves. Whining that your boss is a jerk? You might be frustrated that late meetings are causing you to miss your train. Pinpointing the cause is the first step to seeking a solution.

4.有目标的发泄

如果你能在发泄情绪的同时，通过头脑风暴找到解决问题的方法，从而改善不良情绪带来的困扰，那这种发泄更具治疗作用。《社会心理学》期刊上发表的一项研究调查了大学生对关系处理方面的烦恼，并测试了他们的专注力和幸福度。结果发现，抱怨时脑中有清晰目标和解决方法的参与者，比那些只为了发泄情绪而抱怨的参与者，幸福指数更高。

4.Vent with a purpose

Expressing your frustrations is more therapeutic if you also brainstorm ways to improve the situation.A study in the Journal of Social Psychology surveyed college students about their relationship pet peeves, and also measured mindfulness and happiness.Participants who complained with a specific goal or solution in mind were happier than those who just complained for the sake of venting.

5.写下来

“记日记吧。当你把问题写在纸上时，问题会显得微不足道。”上述烦恼研究的第一作者罗宾·科瓦尔斯基在woman’s day杂志上说。一旦你把所有的问题写下来摆在你面前时，你也许会发现你所抱怨的事情并没有你想象的那么糟糕。

5.Write it down

"Keep a journal. When you put problems down on paper, they can seem smaller," Robin Kowalski, PhD, the lead author of the pet peeves study, toldWoman’s Day. Once you have all the evidence written in front of you, you may find the issue you were complaining about isn’t as bad as you thought.

6.采取行动

“制定一个计划，把解决方案分解成小的步骤，然后开始逐步实施。”约翰逊博士建议。例如，与其抱怨目前没有好的约会对象，不如想一想所有可能结识新对象的办法，然后制定出一个实施计划。列出所有的约会网站，分析这些网站的利弊。重新拍一些照片作为头像照片备用，然后选择其中一个网站开始创建你的个人资料，并联系网站上的1到2个人作为给自己的挑战。与其抱怨，不如掌握主动权，尝试改变那些令你灰心丧气的事情。

6.Take action

“Make a plan, and start taking small steps toward a solution,” recommends Dr. Johnson. For example, instead of complaining that there are no good dating prospects, think of all the ways you can meet new people, and come up with a plan for how you’ll do it. Make a list of dating sites and their pros and cons. Snap new photos for your profile picture. Then choose a site and start answering the questions about yourself to create your profile. Challenge yourself to contact one or two people. Instead of complaining, be proactive and try to change the thing that's frustrating you.

7.认识到有些事情在你掌控之外

“如果你有办法做点什么来扭转一个恼人的局面，那就去做。如果什么也做不了，就不要抱怨，顺其自然好了，”shape网站建议道。

7.Recognize what’s out of your control

“If there’s something you can do to fix a situation that’s upsetting you, do it. If it’s beyond your power to change something, don’t complain about it, just let it go,” advisesShape.com.