20170516 [中英互译] 世界上最棒的HR笑话
The best HR joke in the world! 世界上最棒的HR笑话
关于HR的笑话不多，但下面这个不光有笑点，还反映了人才招聘中吸引候选人的一些乱象。
有一位HR经理很不幸被一辆巴士撞死了。她的灵魂到达天国之门，在门口圣彼得欢迎了她并说道："在您安定下来前，我们有一个小小的问题。。。您要知道，我们这从来没有来过一位HR经理，所以还不是很清楚怎么做”。
"噢，明白，那可不可以让我进去先？" 女士说。
“这个，我很想这样做”，圣彼得说，“但我们有上司命令，指示让您在地狱呆一天，再在天堂呆一天，然后您可以选在哪儿永远呆着"。
"事实上，我想我选天堂"，女士说。
”对不住，我们有规定。。。"，还没说完，圣彼得已经把这位HR经理送进了下去地狱的电梯。
当地狱之门打开时，她来到了一个漂亮的高尔夫球场，不远就是一个乡村俱乐部，在她身边围着许多朋友和过去的同事们，他们穿着得体，为她的来到欢呼雀跃，还跑上来亲她，并开始聊起旧时光。
他们一起玩了一局高尔夫，再一起回到俱乐部，在那她享用了超赞的牛排和龙虾晚宴。她也有机会见到了魔鬼(看起来是个很不错的人），在笑话和舞蹈中，度过了一个难忘的夜晚。
不知不觉，是离开的时候了。每个人都和她挥手道别，送她走进电梯。电梯回到天堂，等着她的圣彼得说：”好吧，现在是时候在天堂呆上一天了”。
于是接下来的24个小时，她在云端闲逛、玩玩竖琴唱唱歌，几乎和在地狱的日子一样享受。
最后圣彼得回来，“所以，您在地狱和天堂各呆了一天，现在，您必须在二个地方中选一个”。
这位女士想了一下说，“好吧，天堂相当不错，但事实上我在地狱感觉更棒，我选择地狱“。
于是，圣彼得把她又带到了电梯里，她重新回到了地狱。当门打开时，她发现自己站在一个到处是垃圾和污物的荒凉之地，看到她的朋友们一个个衣衫褴褛在捡垃圾到旧麻袋里。
这时魔鬼找到了她。
"我不明白“，HR经理结结巴巴的说：”上次我在这儿，还有高尔夫球场、乡村俱乐部，我们一起吃龙虾，一起跳舞，很享受。可现在这儿的一切。。都变成了肮脏的垃圾场，我所有的朋友都看起来那么悲惨。”
魔鬼只是看着她，笑着说：“昨天我们是在招聘你，今天你已经是员工了”。
原文如下：
There aren’t that many HR jokes around, but this one not only takes the biscuit, but raises a number of issues about attracting candidates!
An HR manager was knocked down (tragically) by a bus and was killed. Her soul arrived at the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter welcomed her. “Before you get settled in” he said, “We have a little problem…you see, we’ve never had a HR manager make it this far before and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”
“Oh, I see,” said the woman, “can’t you just let me in?”
“Well, I’d like to,” said St Peter, “But I have higher orders. We’re instructed to let you have a day in hell and a day in heaven, and then you are to choose where you’d like to go for all eternity.”
“Actually, I think I’d prefer heaven”, said the woman. “Sorry, we have rules…” at which St. Peter put the HR manager into the downward bound elevator.
As the doors opened in Hell she stepped out onto a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club; around her were many friends, past fellow executives, all smartly dressed, happy, and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks, and they talked about old times.
They played a perfect round of golf and afterwards went to the country club where she enjoyed a superb steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil (who was actually rather nice) and she had a wonderful night telling jokes and dancing.
Before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everyone shook her hand and waved goodbye as she stepped into the elevator. The elevator went back up to heaven where St. Peter was waiting for her. “Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds, playing the harp and singing; which was almost as enjoyable as her day in Hell. At the day’s end St. Peter returned. “So,” he said, “You’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven”. “You must choose between the two.”
The woman thought for a second and replied: “Well, heaven is certainly lovely, but I actually had a better time in hell. I choose Hell.”
Accordingly, St. Peter took her to the elevator again and she went back down to hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends dressed in rags, picking up rubbish and putting it in old sacks. The Devil approached and put his arm around her.
“I don’t understand,” stuttered the HR manager, “The other day I was here, and there was a golf course, and a country club. We ate lobster, and we danced and had a wonderful happy time. Now all there is, is just dirty wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”
The Devil simply looked at her and smiled, “Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you’re staff.”
;-)
作者: B Thomas Recruitment, Talent acquisition: Agency & Corporate
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