IELTS Writing Task 2 012 - Pros

IELTS Writing Task 2 012 - Pros and Cons of Developing Children’s Independent Thinking Ability (2...

1、首段

What are the pros and cons of teaching our children to make their own decisions has become a heated topic nowadays. Some people oppose it and worry that it may lead to a world of selfish souls while others wholeheartedly (这里我也用前面的一个大词代替了比较口语化的quite使语体更得当。）endorse (在这里我用了endorse来替换初稿用的in favor of it，因为后者感觉有点太口语化，不够学术。) In the following essay, I’d like to examine both views and present my own stance.

2、 主体#1段

Those folks who fear that teaching kids to form their own judgement about daily business by asking them to choose their own favorite food, jacket or hobby may generate a crowd of individuals who are very self-centered. For example, in a family of migrant workers who are (这里用前面的词伙代替了原稿的which a）constantly on the struggle of making ends meet every month. Just imagine that (这里加了前面三个词，感觉比原稿更通顺。) if the kids of the household constantly pester their poor parents to take them to travel around the  world every school holiday or ask their mom or dad to buy some luxury brand goods (这几个词是新加的，感觉这样意思更清楚。) like the the Nike trainer (这里查有道发现trainer已经有运动鞋的意思，所以就不用再画蛇添足加一个shoes 啦！) they enjoy most which is extremely costly, they family may go broke in no time. Therefore, too much emphasis on developing the teens’ own thinking is likely to preventing them from caring for other people’s needs or interests.

3、主体#2段

In contrast, always follow other people’s advice or tips without having one’s own thinking is very risky for both the youngsters and the society. Young people with poor independent thinking and critical thinking ability are very probably to fail to distinguish right from wrong. For instance, when some young students see some fancy new smart phone apps like a recent sensational meaningless short video sharing app-Douyin in mainland China available online, they cannot tell whether they are beneficial or not, so they just blindly follow their peers to download them from the internet and very soon get addicted to them and regrettably have their precious time and life stolen. Lacking critical and original thinking skills is very detrimental (这里我用前面那个词替换了括号里后面的这个negative，这样文章会显得更学术。) to the industry and the country because a workforce weak in making their own decisions and considering matters from various aspects are very unlikely to lead the world in creating novel solutions to the global issues like climate change, poverty, famine or fatal disease.

4、尾段

In short, there appear polarized (这里我用前词替换了后词polarizing，因为后词语法不对。) views towards cultivating children’s independent thinking capacity. As far as I am concerned, we should undoubtedly enlighten our sons and daughters to think for themselves by involving (这里我用前词替换了后词invoking，因为后词拼写笔误。) them into making their own choices in their everyday life even from their small age. While on the other hand, we should teach them to have a big heart to help other people in need and show their love and care to the marginalized group of people such as the disabled people, the kids who lose their parents or the elders who have no children to look after them and have no ability to support themselves and pay for their medical care bills. Only in this way can our society (这里换了一下can的位置，因为only在句首需要倒装。) become more harmorious and prosperous.