翻译思路拆解 | 2021年11月CATTI二笔环保(上)
今天拆解的原文素材来自今年11月CATTI二级笔译实务中关于环保的一段话。
原文:
“十三五”期间,中国坚定不移走生态优先,绿色发展之路,全力以赴建设人与自然和谐共生的现代化。第一,建制度,立规章,依靠法制护航绿色发展。近年来,从生态环境损害赔偿到生态环境保护督察,从修订大气污染防治法到民法典,都充分体现绿色发展理念,并出台了60多项相关配套制度,构建起完善的生态环境法律框架,为绿色发展提供有力支撑。
第一句
“十三五”期间,中国坚定不移走生态优先,绿色发展之路,全力以赴建设人与自然和谐共生的现代化。
这一句说的是十三五期间发生了什么事情,我们很容想到witness这个词:[VN ] to be the place, period, organization, etc. in which particular events take place 是发生…的地点(或时间、组织等);见证
看几个例句感受一下:
Meanwhile, the domestic market witnessed twice the growth seen in the overseas market, with per capita spending at 4,000 yuan.同时,国内游学市场的增幅是海外市场的2倍,人均花费为4000元。
Trips to the polar regions have witnessed explosive growth in China in the past few years. 过去几年间,极地旅游在中国呈现爆发式增长。
Recent years have witnessed a growing social mobility. 近年来人们的社会流动性越来越大。
此处套用起来即为:The 13th Five-Year Plan period has witnessed...
“十三五”witness了两件事情:坚定不移....的发展之路+全力以赴....和谐共生的现代化
此时我们有两种思路,第一种,我们把中心词确定为2个表决心的词,即“坚定不移+全力以赴”:persistent efforts to... +insistence on...其余部分分别处理到介词短语中。
“人与自然和谐共生的现代化”修饰成分可以考虑用过去分词短语:underscored by...
The 13th Five-Year Plan period has witnessed China’s persistent efforts to prioritize ecological preservation and pursue green development, as well as its insistence on modernization underscored by harmonious coexistence/harmony between man and nature.
第二种则可以把下半部分的重点放在“和谐共生”上,“现代化”则处理为后置定语;上半部分的“生态优先,绿色发展之路”,可以大胆一点,只处理一次:
The 13th Five-Year Plan period has witnessed China’s commitment to seeking green growth and human-nature harmony in its modernization drive.
第二句
第一,建制度,立规章,依靠法制护航绿色发展。
“第一、第二、第三”这样的列举,我们直接套用Firstly, secondly, thirdly...
无主句,考虑用被动。
“护航绿色发展”处理为目的状语。
这几个动作的逻辑线是这样的:建立规章制度(具体行为)是为了完善法制,而法制的完善是为了保证绿色发展。
每个部分之间可以用to do不定式表目的状语、by doing方式状语、behind介词等厘清。
译文
Firstly, laws and regulations have been formulated to enhance the legal system/framework behind green development.
First of all, in the pursuit of green development, we have relied on the rule of law by adopting more systems and regulations.
第三句
近年来,从生态环境损害赔偿到生态环境保护督察,从修订大气污染防治法到民法典,都充分体现绿色发展理念,//并出台了60多项相关配套制度,构建起完善的生态环境法律框架,为绿色发展提供有力支撑。
句子很长,我们必须要断句。
层次还是很明确的,第一小句是“体现绿色发展理念”。
近年来,从生态环境损害赔偿到生态环境保护督察,从修订大气污染防治法到民法典,都充分体现绿色发展理念。
这部分主干很明显:...充分体现绿色发展理念。
无主语,我们就换主语:the new growth concept,绿色发展在上一句已经出现过了,这里可以换一种说法。
“体现”这里可以用come to life, illustrate, embody, reflect, give expression to,这些都可以。
再具体阐述通过哪些事情体现,考虑到有4个列举,所以可以用“总分结构”:through a number of initiatives, going from....to...
先写一个译文:
Over recent years, this new growth concept has come to life through a number of initiatives, going from the environmental damage compensation and monitored ecological preservation to the amended Law on Air Pollution Prevention and Control and the adoption of the Civil Code.
第二种思路是把“理念”弱化,直接说我们都做了哪些“绿色的”efforts,谓语用一个include就可以把4个列举全囊括进来了。
These going-greener efforts include the establishment of the compensation system for ecological and environmental damage, the inspection system for ecological and environmental protection, and revision of the Law of the People’s Republic of China on the Prevention and Control of Atmospheric Pollution and Civil Code of the People’s Republic of China.
第二小句
并出台了60多项相关配套制度,构建起完善的生态环境法律框架,为绿色发展提供有力支撑。
这句话结构还是比较明显的:
为...提供支撑——目的状语/结果状语;
剩下的2小句之间的连接可以灵活处理,这里有2个思路;
第一种,把“构建...法律框架”作为“出台60多项制度”的目的,即“To offer...., we have introduced....”,结果状语再套上去即可。
先写一个译文:
To offer a strong underpinning for green development, we have also introduced over 60 associated mechanisms, giving rise to a sound legal framework of environmental protection.
第二种思路,反过来,把“构建起”作为主干,“60多项”作为伴随状语,即along with over 60..., China/we has put in place...to...:
Along with over 60 supporting systems, China has put in place a sound legal framework to protect the ecological environment and to shore up green development.