How to deal with tantrum?

这是彼岸月亮的第4天持续更新原创

作者：彼岸月亮

日期：07/12/2020 于美国

I heard about terrible twos, however, it is so much different to experience myself.

In the past couple months, I learned one thing, when a two-year-old throws a trantam, don’t try to lecture him on the spot. Because it’ll only make it worse. If he’s mad at you or someone, his downstairs brain already took over.  Reacting to the tantrum or trying to teach him a lesson won’t work.

First thing you have to do is check whether your child is tired, hungry or lonely. If it is any of the above, help him rest, give him food, or play with him. But how to figure out why he is acting out, the answer is through connection.

Connection moves a child from reactivity to receptivity.

When a child misbehaves, he probably had a hard time controlling things around him. He’s frustrated people don’t understand him. I experienced a lot of tears and screams when my son was learning to talk. Being there for him, and helping him calm down, that’s the best thing we can do to soothe an upset kid.

Connection builds the brain.

Brain’s changeable. How we react and communicate about misbehaviors, it can impact our kid’s brain. By practicing No-Drama Discipline, it will improve a child’s capacity for relationship, self-control, empathy, personal insight, and much more. In the long run, it will shape our kid’s brain and develop his personality.

Connection deepens the relationship with our child.

All parents want to have a happy relationship with their children. But it is hard when they are acting out, kicking and screaming. It is easy to lose it and react. Remember, kids' brains are complex, and they don’t want to get upset all the time. When they are at their worst, it is when they need parents the most, showing them your love, your acceptance, your concerns, insteading of neglecting, criticizing, and shaming them. The hard time strengthens your relationship with your children, and keeps you close.

Next time, when you are facing a misbehavior, try to connect first before reacting or redirecting.