TED笔记：Make stress your friend 和压
养成一个好习惯，难啊，但换一个角度：捡回几个好习惯就容易得多。
我感觉近年年纪大了，各种杂事羁绊多了，再加上自控能力差，事情一多就稀里哗啦散下去了。一直想重拾一些好的习惯，懒惰和拖延却成了最大的敌人。唯一自傲的是过去1700多天在instagram的每日手机摄影一图，虽质量参差不齐，却一日不辍，每天都有一刻是值得记录的。
Instagram：Lawrenceim 2016/11/03
秋阳弄光影，忽吐半枝新，不知世事改，闲垂照旧宫。------遛弯时捕获一道来自纽约大学上海分校的玻璃反光
Some people seem to get all sunshine, and some all shadow….
上个月参加网友周昶帆组织的一个30天微信读书群，一起读关于拖延症和自律的两本书，要求每天必须写读书笔记，这是一个好开端，过去的30天我身上还是有很多积极正面的变化，比如：
我已经2年多没有连续写过什么大块文字了，通过这次群体性的自律，连续30天的读书笔记活动，书写和表达的欲望被重新激发；
30天内连续游泳差不多15次，从一次三百米很快恢复到一次一千米（十多年前在大学游泳俱乐部时是每天都要训练2小时的，那个时候在教室一想到下课要游泳，肾上腺就咕嘟咕嘟往外冒，脚底板流汗，坐不住，迫切想去跳池子里游泳，现在竟然有类似感觉了）希望到年底能减掉这十多年来养尊处优积攒的肥膘
重新看TED视频。在过去八九年时间里TED演讲改变了我太多，我敢说2014年前我是看TED视频最多的人（好吧保守点）之一，每天一到两个TED演讲并不会占太多时间，TEDtoChina早上的微博都是我在地铁公交上看完发的，现在自己开车反而浪费了路上来回的2个小时时间，这个要重新捡回来。神经元是需要不断刺激来学习的。
重新参加Toastmaster演讲俱乐部活动,.....
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最大的变化可能还在后面——比如持续30天写作。还好，关注我微信公众号的朋友不多，悄悄复活下，万一我坚持不了呐......突然发现知乎上面的粉丝竟然上万了，惶恐啊，一年前曾经和内心的懒惰小我打过赌，如果知乎粉丝上万，就动笔写更多答案，没想到那两篇手机摄影的文章还是有长尾效应的。
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这次微信群读的书名是：【自控力】，The Willpower Instinct。在读书笔记里，我对于这本书的编译吐槽很多，如果确实想看的话，我仅推荐大家去借阅。
拿到书我看到作者的英文名字Kelly Mcgonigal才突然意识到她是我非常喜欢的一个TED演讲人，她的演讲是国内点击最多的之一，就是下面的这个：和压力做朋友。
你鸭梨大吗？反正我压力不小，我3岁的女儿上幼儿园有压力，Jack马，Tony马们也有压力，每个人都有，如何对待它，这才是问题的关键。
【TED演讲】Kelly McGonigal: 如何使压力变成你的朋友
Kelly在演讲中提到：视压力为敌人，相信它对健康的负面影响，继而努力去抗压的人，会大大增加身体不健康的几率，而正确对待压力，主动与压力为友，迎接挑战的人和没有压力感的人健康的几率相当高。另外一点是，和朋友、家人和社群的人共处，帮助别人并接受别人帮助的，也能很好处理压力给身体的影响。
和压力做朋友！很认同她的观点，作为一个内向的人，我很害怕公开演讲，于是我自告奋勇去Toastmasters演讲俱乐部报名了一次7分钟的英文演讲。下面是我准备的第一版英文演讲词(偷懒抄了下Kelly演讲词，地道英文啊，背下就是自己的了)：
Hello, my Toastmasters friends, you know I’m going to talk about the stress.
I have to give a 7-minute speech to a panel of expert evaluators sitting right in front of you, and to make sure me feel the pressure.
First, I’d like to do a little survey by asking some questions, do you feel some kind of stress or pressure this year? If you've experienced relatively littlestress?Who has experienced a lot of stress? Do you believe the stress will harm your health?
For many years I always believe stress makes people uncomfortable, sick, and it increases the risk of getting disease. I'veturned the stress into the enemy of my life. But I have changed my mind about stress after some research.
There was a study tracking 30K people in USA for 8 years. And the study started by asking people same questions,
"How much stress have you experienced inthe last year?"
"Do you believe that stress is harmfulfor your health?"
People with a lot of stress had a 43 percentincreased risk of dying. But only true for the people who also believed thatstress is harmful for your health.
Other people who has positive attitude had thelowest risk of dying in the study, including people who had relatively littlestress.
The researchers estimated that over the 8 years they were tracking deaths, 182,000 Americans died prematurely, not fromstress, but from the belief that stress is bad for you.That is over 20,000 deaths a year. Stress isbad for you the 15th largest cause of death in the United States last year.
Can changing how you think about stress make you healthier? When you change your mind about stress, you can change yourbody's response to stress.
1.Right attitude. You cannot get rid of your stress. It exists everywhere. Even my 3-y-old daughter isfeeling the stress from her primary school. I bet Jack Ma or other billionaires have their stress. The difference is the attitude. You can believe your stressis helping to rise to the challenge. And when you view stress in that way, yourbody believes you, and your stress response becomes healthier.
2. Human connection. Stress makes you social, and social contactalso can help you to fight against stress. When life is difficult, your stressresponse wants you to be surrounded by people who care about you. It even makesyou more willing to help and support the people you care about.
Your stress response wants to make sure you notice when someone else in your life is struggling so that you can support each other.
So when you reach out to others under stress,either to seek support or to help someone else, your stress response becomeshealthier, and you actually recover faster from stress.
This study also asked people "How muchtime have you spent helping out friends, neighbors, people in yourcommunity?" so the bad news first: For every major stressful lifeexperience, like financial difficulties or family crisis, that increased therisk of dying by 30 percent. People who spent time caring for others showed absolutely no stress-related increase in dying. Zero. Caring created resilience.
How you think and how you act can transform your experience of stress. And when you choose to view stress in this way, you're not just getting better atstress, you can trust yourself to handle life's challenges. And you're remembering that you don't have to face them alone.
One thing we know for certain is that chasing meaning is better for your health than trying to avoid discomfort. And so I would say that's really the best way to make decisions, is go after what it is that creates meaning in your life and then trust yourself to handle the stresst hat follows.
事实上这次演讲我准备不充分，7分钟根本讲不完这些，后来一直准备到第四版，演讲用的基本是另外的版本，惭愧，下次一定认真准备。
演讲是演讲，做不成朋友的话，我还是要和压力战一战的，和它做真朋友？等我减轻下买房压力再说吧。
终于开始码字了，飞一样的感觉，还有点HBO神剧“west world”片头的感觉 今天和同事吃饭拍的，一会儿发instagram怎么配文捏？
偷偷在微信放出来这篇，估计有错别字，一两年没有用编辑器了，排版估计也不好看，希望明天我能写第二篇，是这个演讲人Kelly的姐妹篇。
