【前IBM/华为工程师四十不惑赴美留学：之一】申请

“ 那些没能摧毁你的苦难终将成为你的财富! ”

Life story

-- If the suffering did not destroy you, it would become your rare asset!

In China, many friends and relatives regard me as a “successful” man because of my excellent education records, well-paid position in world famous companies, travelling experience in whole China and 30 countries, but what they don’t know is the sufferings and pains have almost shattered my life. The vicissitude of life did not turn me down, however, it become the rare asset with which I am prepared for this new challenge, to reorient my career from businessman to scientist.

My life was full of failures and sufferings in education, career and family life. The first one came in 1987 when I failed to be admitted by the best middle school in my county. The unpleasant experience continued in the following year as I tried again to be admitted by this very middle school. Even worse, this period of experience is certainly rooted in my personal life, and somehow played a significant role in shaping my personality.  However, in 1994, as my application to the best China university was turned down, I was painfully stricken down. This fiasco in 1994 brought me a lot of nightmares until recently and nearly destroyed my life.

Unfortunately, academic failure was not the only sufferings that lingered in my life. After a long-time of quarrelling, my ex-wife and I peacefully end our relationship of 5 years and a deep scar was left in my heart. I aspired fast career advancement and worked very hard in Huawei and IBM, but the moderate result, compared to my excessive efforts, finally convinced me I was not fit to giant corporations. My first venture company was established in 2004, a website very similar to Facebook, but it did not survive the second year. So miserable a man I am?

This is not a movie, and sometime I did not believe it was once my life. I was born in a poor western land of China and experienced great poverty, fighting against siblings for just one small bowl of rice; I had around 100 classmates in my elementary school but only one person - fortunately it was me - received education higher than junior high school; in the first year of my divorce, I lived in a very shabby apartment in city center of Shanghai, the rent price of which was even less than one-night charge of my hotel lodging in business traveling, because I was in another great poverty after I gave up claim to my assets, to make my ex-wife’s life more secured.

Since 2009, I tried to figure out what’s the meaning of my life and how I can become happier by more extensive reading and intensive writing, however, the seeking brought to me no final answer but anxiety and insomnia. During the most gnawing time in 2010-2012, I even thought of ending my life or secluding myself to far land.

Fortunately, I survived all sufferings and pains, if “succeeded” is an inappropriate word. Here are some facts: My academic performance in high school was once ranked top 100 in more than one million high school students in Sichuan Province (still demonstrated in GRE Quantitative Reasoning test); I have education/training background in diversified areas, chemical engineering, mathematics, computer science, business management, and psychology; I can read the mind of almost anyone disregarding his/her ethnic and culture; I am not a rich man but I have a very supportive wife and family now, and they all support this bold life change. Now, all the “bad” days become good memories, positive personalities are forged, I have very broad interests in basketball, reading, writing, cycling, and hiking, and finally I identified my meaning in life is to help and influence more people to be freer and happier.

In the ten-day meditation in a secluded temple this April, I made several plans for next ten years, of which one is to pursue Ph.D. in psychology, and another is to climb Himalaya Mountain. Life is not easy, even demonstrated in this application to address so many challenges and doubts. However, a famous Chinese saying tells me, “Thousand miles began from the first step”.

Here I am.

Thanks for reading, and look forward to hearing from you soon.

－This is the application material that I used in my doctoral program application last November, and it is for sure there were a lot of Selling in it. However, it is a good reference for your to find out who I am, and I post it here just for you to start Thinking of your own life.