2019年3月写作反馈直播(二)
自现象级英语
Paraphrasing techniques: maintain the focus of the original sentence, highlight the linking devices, and keep as simple as possible

Rewriting sentences


To learn: in the long run=for long(only used in negative sense), in the long term,a panacea for sth
To improve: increased 改为increase, fuel cost改为 fuel costs

To learn: It is indisputable that, There is no denying that, be largely attributed to(less common vocabulary), yet, drop, spur, short-lived

To learn: There is a slim chance that(Chances are slim that), the use of private cars, indeed
To improve: The focus of the rewrites differs from that of the original. As a result, the aforementioned information "private car use" as a linking device is overlooked.

To learn: admittedly (常用于句首,诚然)= undeniable, no denying,
Admittedly,reform is not easy. (That is not to say reform is always easy.)
To improve: inhibit, upraise

To learn: A is likely to need more than B, The fact that....does not mean that......
Fault: should be--would be/ will be

To learn: however 插入语
Faults: 地道的英文中很少见:As we all know 可以省掉,As is known to all 可以省掉


To learn: ideal/ right/ perfect solution


To learn: by means of, by raising people's awareness
Faults: 句型不存在It would determine ...to do; for long只用于否定句

To learn:for sth to happen, A should do B;
Faults: moreover 前应用分号或句号;appeal to the public 不等于educate the public; Ling's version is a bit redundant.
Rule of thumb: Simplity is the best policy.

To learn: by virtue of =by means of ; we can do
Faults: Ling's overuse of nouns and expressions; long-term 的搭配不对

To learn: would mean, urge, allocate
Improvements: two measures/initiatives 替换 two things

To learn:two policies
Faults: redundancy, too long

To learn: take full advantage of , ensure
Faults: The choice of words should be close to the original in meaning. ease off


Personal Review
Rewriting is likely to need more than transmitting the intended message. While it is undeniable that paraphrasing is one of the key components of rewriting, mere repetition is unlikely to impress readers. Vivid/Lively expressions and sentence patterns should be made attractive alternatives to dull stereotypes.
In conclusion, a rendition of high calibre would depend on deliberate practice and on a pair of sharp eyes.
Takeways
A : When you see a sentence that captures your eyeballs, ask yourself "How do I express the idea/message of the sentence". The essence is not to read without thinking.
B: Bear in mind that reading different materials on the same topic can be both delightful and inspiring. Deliberate practice in this respect should be applied.
C: Classify and collect high frequency words, expressions and sentence patterns. Take full advantage of them.