相约星期二
Tuesdays with Morrie（中文版《相约星期二》），最近比较喜欢的一本书，用词简单、朴素，真实记录了老教授在患了“ALS”（我们所说的“渐冻症”）后的生活状况，他的一位学生为他记录了人生的最后时刻，最后的“十四堂课”里，他们讨论生活的意义，谈论人生、谈论家庭、谈论感情、谈论钱、谈论死亡.......，截选的一段让人深刻的对话。
人人都在苦恼人生，当浮躁不安的时候看看别人的对人生的想法，一个老人对生活意义的诠释，或许会带给你有不同的感受。
“We’ve got a form of brainwashing going on in our country,” Morrie sighed. “Do you know how they brainwash people? They repeat something over and over. And that’s what we do in this country. Owning things is good. More money is good. More property is good. More commercialism is good. More is good. More is good. We repeat it—and have it repeated to us—over and over until nobody bothers to even think otherwise. The average person is so fogged up by all this, he has no perspective on what’s really important anymore.
“Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. ‘Guess what I got? Guess what I got?’
“You know how I always interpreted that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can’t substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship.
“Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I’m sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you’re looking for, no matter how much of them you have.”
“There’s a big confusion in this country over what we want versus what we need,” Morrie said. “You need food, you want a chocolate sundae. You have to be honest with yourself. You don’t need the latest sports car, you don’t need the biggest house.
“The truth is, you don’t get satisfaction from those things. You know what really gives you satisfaction?”
What?
“Offering others what you have to give.” You sound like a Boy Scout.
“I don’t mean money, Mitch. I mean your time. Your concern. Your storytelling. It’s not so hard. There’s a senior center that opened near here. Dozens of elderly people come there every day. If you’re a young man or young woman and you have a skill, you are asked to come and teach it. Say you know computers. You come there and teach them computers. You are very welcome there. And they are very grateful. This is how you start to get respect, by offering something that you have.
“There are plenty of places to do this. You don’t need to have a big talent. There are lonely people in hospitals and shelters who only want some companionship. You play cards with a lonely older man and you find new respect for yourself, because you are needed.
“Mitch, if you’re trying to show o for people at the top, forget it. They will look down at you anyhow. And if you’re trying to show o for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to oat equally between everyone.”
“Do the kinds of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won’t be dissatis ed, you won’t be envious, you won’t be longing for somebody else’s things. On the contrary, you’ll be overwhelmed with what comes back.”
“我们国家提倡灌输的教育形式，”莫里叹道。“你知道他们是怎样灌输的吗？他们对你一遍又一遍地重复，这就是我们国家的做法。拥有得越多越好。钱越多越好。财富越多越好。商业行为也是越多越好。越多越好。越多越好。我们反复地对别人这么说——别人又反复地对我们这么说——一遍又一遍，直到人人都认为这是真理。大多数人会受它迷惑而失去自己的判断能力。
“无论我生活在哪里，我都会遇到一些对新的东西充满了占有欲的人，想拥有新的汽车，想拥有新的财产，想拥有新的玩具。然后沾沾自喜地向你炫耀：‘猜我得到了什么？猜我得到了什么？’
“你知道我对此是怎么解释的？这些人都渴望得到爱，但又得不到，于是就接受了这些替代品。他们乐于接受物质的东西，期望能得到类似于拥抱的感情回报，但这是行不通的。你无法用物质的东西去替代爱、善良、温柔或朋友间的亲情。
“钱无法替代温情，权力也无法替代温情。我能告诉你，当我坐在这儿等待死亡时，当你最需要这份温情时，金钱或权力都无法给予你这份感情，不管你拥有多少财富或权势。”
“这个社会在想要什么和需要什么这个问题上是很感困惑的，”莫里说。“你需要的是食物，而你想要的却是巧克力圣代。你得对自己诚实。你并不需要最新的跑车，你并不需要最大的房子。
“实际上，它们不能使你感到满足。你知不知道真正使你感到满足的是什么吗？”
是什么？
“给予他人你应该给予的东西。”听起来像个童子军。
“我不是指金钱，米奇。我是指你的时间，你的关心，你的闲谈。这并不难。这儿附近开办了一个老年学校，几十个老年人每天去那儿。如果你年轻而且又有专长，学校就会请你去讲课。你在那里会很受欢迎。那些老人非常感激你。你给予了别人，于是你开始赢得别人的尊敬。”
“有很多这样的地方。你不需要有非凡的才能。医院和避难所里那些孤独的人只想得到一点陪伴。你和一个孤独的老头打打牌，你就会发现新的生活价值，因为人们需要你。
“米奇，如果你想对社会的上层炫耀自己，那就打消这个念头，他们照样看不起你。如果你想对社会的底层炫耀自己，也请打消这个念头，他们只会忌妒你。身份和地位往往使你感到无所适从。唯有一颗坦诚的心方能使你悠然地面对整个社会。”
“只要你做的是发自内心的，你过后就不会感到失望，不会感到妒忌，也不会计较别人的回报。否则，你就要患得患失。”
