《13 Reasons Why》

There was a lightning blazing out thru the sky when i opened up this page, tearing it apart.
Then, came after it, thunder.

本来第一次萌生看的念头，是因为听了反反复复‘back to you’，selena gomez，专辑名是13 reasons why。
似乎有剧是这个名字，记不得谁推给我，不记得何年何月，但隐约有模糊的印象。

点开了搜索，下了下来。习惯是看一集之前，先下好下一集，可能是我的懒癌，也可能是我的拖延症。
也可能只是单纯的机械性重复动作。

Hannah自杀，录下了13盘磁带记录了13个伤害她的人，死后邮寄到他们门前。

看之前我想，一个人究竟遭遇了怎样，才会让一个人完全对生活绝望，hopeless，充满恨意，说服自己无法再多活一天，因为呼吸都会是一种痛苦

it would not be easy. in both ways.

How could one person gets to live on with all that?

How could they even live on?

I am feeling the slight, the ultimate silence.
The silence keeps your mouth shut. The silence makes you think thru things. The silence that would do harm to you - and you know it won’t - in its most gentle way.

And it made me think of Sharp Objects and what Amma said in it, which I got on book reviews,
‘What if you hurt, because it feels so good?’

What if you hurt, because it feels so good?
What if you accept the harm, because that is the self-righteous thing to do?

Then everything got silent.

Then there’s another flash of lightning illuminating it.

I didn’t get the thunder.