2023-03-21

Dear Leo,

I've decided to start writing a diary in English to improve my writing skills. However, I know it's challenging to keep it up consistently. So, I've set a smaller goal for myself: to complete at least one diary entry every week.

I am currently reading the English version of the novel "The Vampire Diaries." Its content differs from those mindless soap operas and can be quite melodramatic. What truly fascinates me is the idea of becoming a vampire, particularly one who can walk under the sun.

As a vampire, I could remain forever young, become stronger, effortlessly turn off my emotions, and achieve immortality. I would no longer need to fear weakness or harm from others, especially their words. I wouldn't have to worry about running out of time, so I could fully immerse myself in anything I'm passionate about. With ample time, I wouldn't need to stress about not having enough time and energy to learn and explore other exciting things. If I could effortlessly turn off my emotions, I wouldn't have to expend emotional energy on others. I believe that at that point, I could live as my true self, undefined by anyone else.

Yes, I admit that I'm not strong enough, and that's why I long for this shortcut to success, where someone bites me, and I instantly transform. I often feel anxious and can easily lose control of my emotions because of others' words. It seems that in the past thirty years, only my age has increased. Today, I feel sad simply because I argued with my dad. In the end, it's just a matter of fathers not understanding their sons and sons not understanding their fathers.