【教书匠阿伦-外刊精读】世界上最可怕的东西不是贫穷，而是恐惧失败

2019-07-09 本文已影响10人教书匠阿伦

As digital natives, today’s students have a lot to worry about. They live in an age where they can learn what their friends and classmates are up to at the simple touch of a screen. This makes social comparisons easy but with potentially damaging effects to one’s self-esteem, especially if they’re not reaching the same ‘milestones’ as their friends. Author and psychotherapist Amy Morin notes on Inc that many of today’s adolescents are anxious for various reasons, some of which include receiving unrealistic praise from their parents that can “lead to a crippling fear of failure or rejection”, while shielding their children from the vicissitudes of life means they have less time dealing with its often trying realities.

现在的学生作为数字原生代，他们有很多东西需要担心。他们生活在一个可以通过简单的屏幕触碰来了解他们的朋友和同学在做什么的时代。这种情况让社会比较变得很容易，但也有可能伤害一个人的自尊，特别是当他们没有达到和朋友一样的 “ 里程碑 ” 的时候。作家兼心理治疗师Amy Morin在杂志上指出现在许多青少年因各种原因而焦虑，其中包括接受父母不切实际的表扬，这可能 “ 导致他们对失败或拒绝出现严重恐惧 ” ，而保护他们的孩子免受生活变迁的影响，这也意味着他们有更少的时间来处理其现实的问题。

Overcoming failure

So how can parents and teachers play a role in helping students overcome their fear of failure?

克服失败

那么，父母和老师如何才能帮助学生克服对失败的恐惧呢？

A safe haven in classrooms

O’Brien notes that it’s important for educators to ensure that their classrooms “were places where it was safe to have a go. Safe because, although failure, struggle and persistence were expected daily occurrences, the children needed to be convinced that they would be met with unstinting support. This categorically did not mean doing it for them. Eventually I summed this up to the children, colleagues and parents in a simple way: ‘We’re here to catch them, not catch them out.’”

教室里的避风港

奥布莱恩指出，对于教育工作者来说，确保他们的教室是 “ 可以安全进行尝试的地方是很重要的。安全的原因是，尽管每天都会出现失败，挣扎和坚持，但必须让孩子们相信他们将会得到全力的支持。这绝对不意味要替孩子们做这些事。最后，我简单地对孩子，同事和父母进行了总结： ' 我们要了解他们，而不是抓住他们的错误。”

Be a good role model

Parents who have experienced failure can use the experience to teach their children that failure doesn’t have to define them. Instead, model good behaviour by showing your kids that failure should be taken in their stride. While failure can evoke feelings of embarassment or inferiority, it also acts as a learning experience that will help you grow if you take the time to reflect on your mistake(s) and identify where or how you could do better next time. A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor, after all.

做个好榜样

经历过失败的父母可以用他们的经验来教导孩子，失败并不会定义他们。相反，可以向你的孩子展示从容对待失败也是一种良好的行为。虽然失败会引起尴尬或自卑感，但是它也可以作为一种学习经验，如果你花时间来反思你的错误，并确定下次在哪里或如何才能做得更好，它将会帮助你的成长。毕竟，平静的大海不可能造就熟练的水手。

Laud their effort

Regardless how old one gets, experiencing failure doesn’t always get easier with time.

As parents or teachers, it’s easier to berate a child for not succeeding on their first try. However, no one strives for failure, so it’s important to acknowledge the effort a student makes to encourage them to persevere and try harder next time.

赞美他们的努力

不管一个人的年纪怎么变，经历失败并不会随着时间的推移就变得容易。

作为家长或老师，总是很容易责备孩子第一次的尝试没有成功。然而，没有人会为失败而奋斗，所以承认一个学生的努力很重要，以此鼓励他们坚持下去，下次更加努力。

本新闻解读首发于2019年07月08日，新闻来源：Study International

原文链接：https://www.studyinternational.com/news/heres-how-parents-and-teachers-can-help-students-overcome-their-fear-of-failure/

作者：Study International

文本难度：★★★★☆

话题难度：★★★★☆

数字原住民

是指在数字技术被广泛采用之后出生的人。“数字原生代”这个术语并不是指特定的一代。相反，它是一个包罗万象的类别，适用于使用互联网、电脑和移动设备等技术长大的孩子。早期接触科技的经历被认为比出生在科技普及之前的人更熟悉和理解科技。并非所有今天出生的孩子都是天生的数字原住民，年轻时经常与科技互动是决定因素。