2019年4月写作反馈直播（一）

自现象级英语

Imitative writing techniques: observation, preservation, innovation, and integration

Paragraph 1

The original version

Examples:

Sample 1

To improve: It takes constant effort to do A, do B, and do C. 死记硬背 rote learning 举例不恰当：The emphasis is on the format of classroom teaching.

Highlights: synthesize information

Revised version

Highlights: they/ such learners (avoid repetition)

Sample 2

To improve: purge the mind of racism; the United States; the United Kingdom, the Netherlands, the Philippines; dehumanize; such mindset; on mere suspicion that, they are engaged in crime/ criminal activities

Highlights: 冒号

Revised version
Sample 3

To improve: 逻辑上courage is not needed here; use "dictate" to replace "dominate"; 逗号和分号后面用小写; for too long.  The sentence "Time management counts as well" is out of place.      engage sb's attention/interest

Highlights: It takes sth not to do

Revised version

本意是好的 well-intended; well-intentioned; well-meaning ; 眼尖，观察力敏锐 observant

Paragraph 2

The original version

Justin's versions:

Framework: an argument---acknowledgement---

Examples:

Sample 1

丁克一族：DINKS

Highlights: This is a legitimate concern. 合理的担忧 further education

To improve: derive joy from other experiences

Revised version

More thoughts into the theme: DINKS.

Highlights: stay childless, a childless life; would 会；pleasurable; may be 非百分百肯定，语气弱化; source of inspiration/ pride/ happiness; pursue their ambitions/goals; an advanced degree 本科以上; en envy for  

词性的多样用法： She is hard to please. 很难让她满意

Sample 2

To improve: clarity is a must. The opening sentence should be simple and straightforward. The focus should be on the logic and topic, not varied expressions. 

Revised version
Sample 3

To improve: clarity and clearness are emphasised. Confusions abound.

Revised version

Highlights: reach such a bold conclusion from sth; rank (amongst) top ten

Personal Review

That is not to say imitiative writing is always easy. It takes knowledge and skill to preserve the framework and the logic of the source text, contribute your thoughts and ideas, and synthesise all these elements to the utmost. Even well-intended designs can fail when they are implemented poorly. 

Some will argue that the practice is likely to be mentally taxing, tricky and problem-prone. Besides, if writing mistakes are inevitable, why bother? The first is a worry justified. The risk can be minimised, though not eradicated, by closely following the format of the source text, writing a simplified Chinese version corresponding to the target text to examine the design, and cross-checking the final version to ensure the intentions are fulfilled.   

"Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude."