《当呼吸化为空气》

        开学后看完的第一本书，When Breath Becomes Air，登上了2015年New York Times非虚构类作品(non-fiction)的榜首。这本书目前还没有中译本。下面写一篇不像“读后感”的读后感，简单介绍一下这本书。

先介绍一下作者以及一些背景信息：

       作者Paul是一位脑神经外科医生。他母亲来自印度，到美国后主要从事教学工作；父亲是一名医生。小时候家贫，但她母亲坚信，再穷不能穷教育，所以在Paul 10岁时，就引导他看很多名著，如《1984》，这样的童年在Paul的心底里种下了热爱文学的种子。所以，在斯坦福大学，他取得了英语语言文学学士和硕士学位；受医生父亲的影响，他修了人类生物学学士学位，最后也走上了医生这条道路。

       另外一个背景知识是“Residency”。什么是“Residency”呢？看一下wikipedia的解释：

Residencyis a stage of graduate medical training. A resident or house officer is a physician (one who holds the degree of M.D., D.O., MBBS, MBChB, or BMed) who practices medicine usually in a hospital or clinic under the direct or indirect supervision of an attending physician. Successful completion of a residency program is a requirement to obtaining an unrestricted license to practice medicine in many jurisdictions.

       也就是说，在美国读医学，除了修完学校的课程，还要去医院当(多年的)见习医生，在见习期间所有考核都通过了，才算真正结业。结业后，医生的去向主要是进研究所、进大学教书、开办医院、或者任职于大医院。作者Paul就是一名resident neurosurgeon(住院脑神经外科医生)。

       当resident doctor压力非常的大，paul自述一周工作100小时，基本上都是早上6点上班，有时候要凌晨了才下班(看到了程序员的身影，每一行业都不容易啊)。书中有一细节，Paul下班后，到停车场先进车瞌睡一会儿，然后才有精力开车回家：

I staggered through the parking lot, often napping in my car before driving the fifteen minutes home to bed.

       尽管工作强度大，压力大，但Paul见习期间表现得非常好，手术水平日益精湛。他的妻子也是一名医生。2人马上就要结束residency顺利结业了，前途一片光明，作者的朋友甚至评价Paul说，以Paul的资格，可以去包括斯坦福在内的任意一所大学当研究员。可就在毕业前夕，厄运从天而降，Paul被查出了肺癌。

      本书When Breath Becomes Air正是作者患上肺癌后开始写的。整本书可以分为2部分：

前半部分“In Perfect Health I Begin”，简述童年，求学之路，以及作为住院医生的所见所闻所思，重点是从一个医生的角度思考“生与死”；

后半部分“Cease Not till Death”，讲诉查出肺癌后，接受各种治疗的过程，分裂的爱情因为癌症得到挽救，以及做父亲的喜悦，重点是从一个患者的角度思考“生与死”。

      所以，全书的主题就是“生与死”，更确切的说是对于“死亡”的思考，主要传达的是：死亡是一件必然会降临的事，我们要正确地理解和对待死亡，即便面对死亡，也要完整地活着。

“Always the seer is a sayer,” Emerson wrote. “Somehow his dream is told; somehow he publishes it with solemn joy.” Writing this book was a chance for this courageous seer to be a sayer,to teach us to face death with integrity.

      最后，分享书中几句让人感动的文字，以及“鸡汤”：

“You can’t ever reach perfection, but you can believe in an asymptote toward which you are ceaselessly striving.”（“鸡汤”）

When you come to one of the many moments in life where you must give an account of yourself, provide a ledger of what you have been, and done, and meant to the world, do not, I pray, discount that you filled a dying man’s days with a sated joy, a joy unknown to me in all my prior years, a joy that does not hunger for more and more but rests, satisfied. In this time, right now, that is an enormous thing. （Paul写给将来长大了的女儿的文字，让人感动）

the physician’s duty is not to stave off death or return patients to their old lives, but to take into our arms a patient and family whose lives have disintegrated and work until they can stand back up and face, and make sense of, their own existence.（对医生职责的理解）

“What are you most afraid or sad about?” she asked me one night as we were lying in bed.“Leaving you,” I told her.（爱情）

I told her to remarry, that I couldn’t bear the thought of her being alone.（爱情）

As a resident, my highest ideal was not saving lives—everyone dies eventually—but guiding a patient or family toan understanding of death or illness.（对医生职责的理解）

       虽然整本书的主题是“生与死”，但患上绝症，绝对不是一个人的事情，而是牵涉到整个家庭。后半部分的字里行间，都流露出妻子的爱，向这种共患难的爱情致敬！