语言·翻译语言翻译HP/ELITE/PERIODICAL专辑风月宝鉴

十二秒决战英语作文生死,你该这样写开头!

2017-11-08  本文已影响358人  修辞工厂

英语作文开头该怎么写?你肯定背了几个万用模板吧。

In today’s society, whether .... / Recently, with …people's life changes dramaticly. ...

你以为背下安全的句型模板能帮助你得到好分数。

可是,你有没有想过一个问题:

作文分数到底是怎么来的?

是评卷老师给的。而评卷老师是人,人就是主观的。

他一眼扫到这老掉牙的开头,就知道文章也就是个泛泛之辈了。

如果是留学考试,评卷者是老外,英文是他的母语,他更是已经看过了无数有趣有料的文字。你怎么忍心用这种八股文恶心他呢?

开头,是一篇文章的重中之重。

There is no better place to make a strong initial impression than your very first sentence.

——《Academic Writing Now》

第一印象灰常灰常重要,何况你们的“相处”时间很短……据说阅卷老师看一篇作文的平均时间是12秒。

所以本篇文章我们就来攻克这个容易被轻视,但极其重要、改好了又极容易出彩的部分——作文开头

■ ■ ■

先记住在国外的写作教学里常用的一个概念:

HOOK

a small scene or anecdote that shows your reader what the problem looks like.

十二秒决战英语作文生死,你该这样写开头!

Hook,中文叫“钩子”,顾名思义,钩住读者,让他不要跑。在文章开头,放下一个hook,作用是:

锁定读者注意力,激发阅读兴趣,顺利引出主题。

好的hook,把评卷老师的好感度刷得高高的,有些小小的错误可能就......,后面主体部分要是写的也不错,那分数嘛,就任性地给你打高分喽…

考培届的杠把子-- The Princeton Review,非常耿直地描述了这一场景:

Readers are buried in student essays, most of them mundane and mind-numbingly similar, and are just hoping for that one brilliant piece of writing that breaks the monotony and is a pleasure to read.

(判卷人们深陷在千篇一律的学生作文中,他们的内心在呼唤着茫茫文海中的那一篇灵动新颖的文章,打破这无趣的黑白世界,增加一点点乐子。)

在应试作文中,hook要求短小精悍,紧扣主题。以下简单介绍3个hook类型,可操作度从易到难。


Hook 1

提出一个问题

Ask an Intriguing Question

问题总是能够激发好奇的。你提了一个问题,评卷老师忍不住去思考答案的时候,你就把他钩住了。

具体要求:

1. 问题要有意义、有启发你的point的作用;

2. 问了问题就要回答

下面看看优秀选手:

When was the last time your were moved by a high-level speech about education? I don’t mean by the personal testimonials we hear at graduations or award ceremonies, but by a policy or political speech. My guess is that it’s been quite a while.

We seem trapped in a language of schooling that streets economy, accountability, and compliance. There are important issues, to be sure, but they are not the stuff of personal dreams and common vision, not a language that inspires.

这篇教育界大拿Mike Rose教授的文章,想表达美国社会高层人士对教育的漠不关心。在开头则把这个问题聚焦在“high-level speech”这个很具体的问题上,带动读者去搜索自己的记忆。

再来一个对比的车祸现场:

Which is a better way to prepare young people for leadership in government, industry, or other fields: instilling in them a sense of cooperation or competition? The speaker claims .… In my opinion, I mostly agree with the speaker's contention. In all realms of human endeavor, ……(此处省略观点)

这也是个提问,但问题宽泛,让人很难带入,像是为了提问而提问,而且几乎可以肯定他就是把作文题目抄了一遍。这绝不可能引起读者兴趣,简直就像脑门上写着“我作文很烂,我在凑字数”。

另外,问题问了,没有回答。在散文类文章中,会有问而不答的情况,主要表达个意境。但在英文说理性文章里,问了问题就一定要明确回答,这是一个铁律。否则会显得特别拎不清。

在应试作文里,由于篇幅和时间限制,不仅要回答,还要马上回答,最好不要留到几段以后。

Hook 2

讲一段经历

Tell a Short Story

真实的经历最能打动人。用3-5句话讲一个自己或身边人的小故事,可以迅速提高作文的逼格。

(在这里,我们的中国背景可能是个优势,你觉得很普通的一件事,在外国评卷老师眼中,可能充满了异域风情。)

Daisy, a classmate of mine, just left school for seven months on sick for depression. The reason simple: her school requires every students to take various courses outside their major in order to graduate.

这是一个同学写的关于”学校是否应该开设非专业相关的课程“的作文,他用2句话描述了一个同学因为学校要求的非专业必修课过多,课业压力过大患上抑郁症的经历。这比一上来就讲道理显然更能打动人。

不过用故事做作文开头,有一个小技巧,一定要紧接着用一句话表达观点,解释hook和观点的关系。

如果Daisy的故事后面紧接着跟上一句:

Her tragedy indicates that taking too many unrelated courses may be unjustly harsh to students. Thus, I believe that ...

这样的开头就显得非常完整了。

Hook 3

描述一个现象

Give a Description

通常是描绘一个社会普遍现象或观念。关注热点和社会时事的同学用这招会更得心应手一些。

比如以下这篇Gerald Graff教授一篇题为Hidden Intellectualism的文章

Description:

Everyone knows some young person who is impressively “street smart” but does poorly in school. What a waste, we think, that one who is so intelligent about so many things in life seems unable to apply that intelligence to academic work.

(“哎呀呀,这种“street smart”不就是我高中那个不会考试的同桌嘛”,看到这里,读者会迫不及待地读下去,看看作者要怎么评价。)

观点:

What doesn’t occur to us, though, is that schools and colleges might be at fault for missing the opportunity to tap into such street smarts and channel them into good academic work. Nor do we consider one of the major reasons why schools and colleges overlook the intellectual potential of street smarts: the fact the we associate those street smarts with anti-intellectual concerns, We associate the educated life, the life of the mind, too narrowly and exclusively with subjects and texts that we consider inherently weighty and academic.

(作者吐槽说 美国现有的教育体系局限于学科、对学生的评价体系也过于单一,这些不在学术方面的聪明孩子难以发挥他们的潜能。)

我们总结一下:Description一定要尽可能具体,你可以选择人物具体,比如上文的some young person,也可以环境具体,就是一个特定的场景,不要大而化之。

总之,越是能让读者产生代入感,发出“是啊,对的啊,就是这样子”的内心声音,你的hook就成功啦!


一分钟了解我们

修辞工厂是康康老师的教学品牌。

康康老师在南开大学毕业后,前往俄亥俄州立大学读第二语言教育专业硕士,在校期间脑抽筋看中了该校全美TOP5的专业写作与修辞(Rhetoric,Composition, and Literacy Studies),成为该专业史上第一个母语不是英语的学生,和一帮美国人当同学,学习怎样教美国人写作。

熬过了本土学生都觉得变态的阅读和作业

扎扎实实搞了几年英文写作教学和研究

现在回国,致力于推广native speaker 更高效的英语学习方法

上一篇下一篇

猜你喜欢

热点阅读