90天30个TED演讲 - Day 14: What I lea

Day 14

 Jia Jiang: What I learned from 100 days of rejection

TED演讲：我从“被拒100天”学到的..._腾讯视频

按照设定的pattern，今天主要关注三个维度中的第二个维度，演讲方式，我以面和体的形式记录下自己的理解。

面（段）

以故事开头，建立连接

讲者开头讲述了自己两个童年和少年时候的故事，六岁时候被拒绝的故事，这件事情他印象深刻，成为现在的他的一部分，被称为‘six-year-old' version me，另一个是关于他年少的梦想，"By age 25, I will build the biggest company in the world, and that company will buy Microsoft."，这是他的另一面，one who will conquer the world， 被称为‘14-year-old' version me。他现在30岁了，但是梦想遥遥无期，甚至还没有开启，因为发现他总是struggle在这两个version里面，every time that six-year-old won.

（Comment by Crystal: 大多时候我们发现自己会陷在某种恶性循环中，被认为可能是命运，但其实这只是某种思维模式固化而造成的某种因果循环，但在实际上，我们是生活在某种能自定义边界的系统中，如果能够跳出这种因果循环看到更大的边界来定义新的系统，就能破局）

以故事讲述自己的尝试，量变到质变

故事最能吸引人。讲者在确定了‘Rejection Therapy’的计划之后，又讲述了自己执行计划的过程中的遭遇，然后复盘总结(I found if I just don't run, if I got rejected, I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes," and the magic word is, "why"; if I mention some doubt people might have before I ask the question, I gained their trust)，调整行为，历经量变到质变的蜕变。

Day One: Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger

Day Two: Request a "burger refill

Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts （video got over five million views on Youtube）

Day xx: Be a Starbucks greeter

Day xx: Ask and teach a college class

（Comment by Crystal: 讲者讲述他发现的自己的pattern，就是在被rejection了以后，他会逃走，会assume各种不被接受的理由，便不敢尝试，而这个就是导致他陷入某种循环的原因，而他也找到了破局的方法:I found if I just don't run, if I got rejected, I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes," and the magic word is, 'why')

体（章）

这个演讲和‘Try something new for 30 days‘ 有很大的相似度。都是因为某个事情trigger了讲者要改变的决心，接着寻找突破口，制定方案开始执行，讲述风格再加上一些小自嘲和自嗨，也让听众欢乐不断，并且在最后呼吁大家行动起来，做出一些简单的小改变。整体演讲架构我的理解如下：

- 曝露自己痛点（也是大众痛点）

I felt there was this constant battle between the 14-year-old and the six-year-old. One wanted to conquer the world -- make a difference -- another was afraid of rejection. And every time that six-year-old won.

- 提出解决方案

"Rejection Therapy"  is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection, and every day get rejected at something, and then by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain. And I loved that idea.

- 实践方案（how)

Day One: Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger Day Two: Request a "burger refill Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts （video got over five million views on Youtube） Day xx: Be a Starbucks greeter Day xx: Ask and teach a college class

- 产生结果（总结规律，蜕变发生）

I found if I just don't run, if I got rejected, I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes," and the magic word is, "why."

I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have before I ask the question, I gained their trust.

People like Martin Luther King, Jr., like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, or even Jesus Christ. These people did not let rejection define them. They let their own reaction after rejection define themselves. And they embraced rejection.

- 呼吁行动（我的成功可以复制）

When you get rejected in life, when you are facing the next obstacle or next failure, consider the possibilities. Don't run. If you just embrace them, they might become your gifts as well.

书籍推荐： 《Rejection Proof》 by Jia Jiang