平衡 9月21日学习记录

1 Review

I reviewed the audio file about Direct, indirect and uncontrol, circle of influence and circle of concern.

Direct , indirect and uncontrol

The problem we faced can fall into the three parts , direct , indirect and uncontrol . Direct means we can change and influence directly , like our own habits , so the first three habits belong to this part. Indirect means we can influence indirectly , especially others opinion , others perception.the second three habits belong to this part, after we achieve the private victory , we build the foundations to get the credibility , others will trust us , because we are trustworthy , then we can learn some techniques to interact with others , just like win-win principle , seek first to understand , then to be understood principle . We can enrich ourrepertoire , learn more reliable influencing techniques . Now most of us only know less than ten technique , that is not sufficient to cooperate with other people .

Uncontrol

Something we cannot change , just admit and accept positively . Like my mother-in- law , she have been addicted to complaining others , the conditions for a long time . My wife has tried to persuade her to change herself , but she sticked to her "wisdom " and behavior rude sometimes. For this conditioning , my brother-in- law felt sad and annoying . He even hates his own mother . For me that I keep away form her , she seems defensive and conservative . When I read this part , i found that she was unhappy during her complaining , so why not accept her compassionately , maybe she tried to act like a caring mother , but she didn't how to , she did something but she feared the failure .  She was a old woman , why we have to change her .

2 制作CC achievement chat

Duration: one and half hour

3 finish habit one part

The other end of the stick

Once we choose the start , we choose the end. The consequence mostly is unpredictable , when we meet failure , we can change ourselves , first know why we fail , correct ourselves . Then start again .

If only and be

There are two kind of response we can choose , one is taking the responsibility , that is proactive , one is blaming the conditioning, absolve ourselves of responsibility , that is reactive .

If only my wife could be more thoughtful

If only my boss give me the promotion

If only I have a big house

If only the goverment would control the price of estate

If only ....

The content behind these sentence is reality that we cannot control . The one that we can change and control is only ourselves .

I can be more thoughtful and compassionate

I can promote myself

I can be more competitive

I can be more receptive

Expand the circle  of influence

We can focus our time and energy to ourselves , we can learn how to discipline ourselves, how to become a complementary person , a proactive and easy-cooperating teammate person . We can lift our ability , read more classic books , design some romantic activity to lubricate the marriage , make the family atmosphere more positive and supportive , give our unconditional love to your intimates .

4 read 25 pages , guns, germs and steel.

感悟：事业家庭也要做好的平衡，学习和家庭经营也要兼顾，女儿的童年只有一次，且行且珍惜，高质量的陪伴很重要，高质量时间利用也很重要。