Best wishes

Hi,

Sorry for being very emotional earlier. I tried very hard to calm down a little since Wednesday, but the moment I received your text, I felt so sad again. I was doing my work, but I could not barely concentrate.

Wednesday was a terrible day for me. You broke up with me. Later Siena fell from the stairs when I was brushing my teeth, her Grandma yelled at me again and kept me away from Siena. We called ambulance, that 5 minutes we were waiting for the rescue, Siena laid down on the floor, she called me for help, but I could not  be close, as her Grandma was very angry and loud as a monster and she insisted that Siena got hurt bad, I should not move her. I knew my girl was much more scared than hurt, but I was coward to go to my daughter. I just stood far on the top stair, crying, asking Siena in Chinese, could she move her legs and hands, she said yes. When people came ,Siena was confirmed okay in the end, luckily.

The past 40 hours I thought a lot about you and us, I am sorry I could not do many things for you. Through the relationship, it was you helping me all the time. When you got tired from work, I did nothing; When you had an accident, I did nothing; When you were freaked out by home flood that day, I did nothing; When you suffered hunger and sweating while working, I did nothing; When you were embarrassed on a wedding by a girl, I was not there; When you need company, I could not go to you; When you had bad days, I always wasn't there. You are right, this relationship was very difficult, from your side, more difficult than from my side. I am really sorry for as who I was, for the situation I had. You came to my broken life and saved me, how I could blame you for not staying longer. I want to kiss you as many as I can, I want to keep you as long as I can, I am very selfish.

I here thank you for all you did. Your sweet kisses, love, care, encouraging, help, and all the kind words. I thank you for the yummy breakfasts and dinners you made for me, your sweet gifts, your patience with me and my kids. You are a great man, and you were a five-star boy friend, I truly understand your decision at this moment. I truly wish you have a better life, wish people treat you like you treat them, I truly wish you keep positive and don't get depressed again. I wish you in good health, smile always, being kind and being patient for your better days. You have a heart, that deserves all the good. I wish you find your destination one day, she will love you like I did, I wish she could do things for you like you did for me, I wish you being accompanied by a person who has a good heart like you.

Don't worry about me, you'd given me what you have, and I still have the love from you, and my burning desire to get better. I have two angels, I will get through today, tomorrow and many many bad days, I will smile just like the first day you saw me. This pain will go away with a lot of poems, my love to you will be transferred to the passion I need every day. :)

I will always remember that day, a boy sat on the chair, writing something, I stared at him and took a picture of him. He looked at me and asked" did you peek on me?" :)

Kiss my happy days from July 15 2018 to Aug 20 2019. :D

Sofia Chan

What I did not say was, I will still miss you, without bothering.