如何找到你真正想要的东西?

如何找到你真正想要的东西?

【佛佳按】

已经不止一次有人对我说，“佛佳，真羡慕你，很早就知道自己真正想要的东西，可我还迷茫得很，对什么也提不起劲儿来，工作也是混日子。你能告诉我，如何才能找到自己最想要的东西么？”

对此，我总是很难去接话。

最想要什么？这是个很难界定的东西，因为每个阶段，人所面临的情境不一样，需求不一样，因而目标任务可能也就因此有所不同。

其实，我也回答不了自己最想要什么，只是清楚自己最想成为什么样的人，处在何种状态里，自我感觉最佳，身心最为愉悦（在此，我指的是精神层面）。

对于以上这一点，我相信，大多数人也应都明白。

知道自己最想成为什么样的人后，我会采取行动去让自己离那个渴望成为的样子，一天比一天朝她靠近，而许多人可能并不会，因为这需要努力与坚持，尤其是你距离那个“理想的她”还有很长一段距离的时候。

比如，我渴望自由的状态，身心皆是，不愿意受太多条条框框的约束和局限，而我目前可能还没法完全做到“全盘自由”。

于是，比起同龄人，我可能更敢于继续追求自己的梦想，付出行动，而不是与现实妥协。尽管我的梦想可能与金钱无关。

所以，在我看来，找到真正想要，行动很重要。

说实话，我仍给不了或不愿给出“找到最想要的东西”的答案，这种问题，答案其实就在你我自己手里。

不过，昨天读了一篇文章，作者是美国一位心理学家。

文章就如何寻到自己真正想要的东西，分享了7个关键词：

欲望，恐惧，服务，联系，静思，行动，奇迹。

读完，颇为认同。

我想，这七个概念，对于处于迷茫的你，或许有用。

便将它作为翻译语料，译成了中文，分享给大家，供参考阅读。

顺便说一下，通过翻译提高英文，是蛮好的一种学习方法，具体如何操作，过两天，我会更文具体再去谈及哦。

下面，就让我们一起认真阅读文章吧，这7个关键词，或可助你寻得你所真正想要呢，或者至少能启发你的思考。

努力加油，我们，在一起。

【双语阅读】

Every month I coach dozens of young people from around the globe who have no idea what they’re doing with their lives how to better plan their careers. Having found a number of common threads, I’ve put together some guidance for anyone seeking to determine their life’s purpose.

我每个月都会辅导十几位来自全球各地的年轻人，他们对人生感到迷茫，也不知道如何更好地规划职业生涯。指导中我发现了不少共性，也藉此汇总了一些指导意见，以帮助那些有意树立人生目标的人士。

Here are the main concepts to consider, distilled into seven key words:

以下是归纳出的几个主要理念，我将其概括为7个单词。

01

欲望

Most of my clients have no idea what they want. Some have a story they tell themselves about what they’re doing or what they’re planning to do next, but they have no idea what they REALLY want.

我的大多数客户都不知道自己想要什么。有些人编出个故事告诉自己正在做什么，打算做什么，但其实并不清楚自己真正想要的是什么。

What we really want can usually be identified once we stop censoring ourselves, trying to come up with an answer that sounds prestigious or glamorous or reflects what we think is economically feasible or what our family wants.

想知道我们真正要什么，就得停止脑中的自我审查，别再想着看似崇高或荣耀的答案，或是出于经济原因的选择或是家人的期望。

I tell everyone: get all those things out of your head and then give yourself to the count of three to answer as quickly as possible “What do I want in life?” Nine times out of 10, that’s your answer.

我奉劝所有人：将所有不相关的事情抛之脑后，数三下之后用最快的速度回答“我想要什么？”十有八九，这就是你想要的答案。

Until you know what you want, no one else can help you get there. The first step starts in ruthlessly identifying what that is.

你只能自己弄清楚想要什么，别人是爱莫能助的。第一步就是要毫不犹豫地找出来。

2

恐惧

If you still can’t come up with what you really want out of life, a good place to start is by examining what you’re scared of. I strongly believe that fear tells us what we should be doing and the most successful people proceed directly into what scares them.

如果还是无法找到人生目标，不妨想想害怕什么。我坚信，恐惧能告诉我们应该去做什么，最成功的人士都会直面自己的恐惧。

Like most humans, everyone I work with is very scared of something – of many things actually. Instead of backing down in the face of those things, we tackle them head on. We look at it like, this is a lot of good stuff to put on your radar and start learning about how you roll in the fear zone.

与大多数人一样，我身边的人都会害怕，而且是害怕很多东西。在恐惧面前不能畏首畏尾，应该迎面而上果断击败。应该持这样的态度：了解恐惧可以加深对自我和周围世界的了解、学着面对恐惧时如何行事会受益匪浅。

Go where you’ll grow, and you’ll grow most when you’re really freaked out about something.

去找能让人成长的领域，当你真正害怕时，成长得最快。

3

服务

If that doesn’t get the ball rolling, look for opportunities to give. What do you have that you can share with the world, regardless of monetary compensation? What can you teach others? Where might just your physical presence be a gift to someone in need?

如果还是收效不大，就多找帮助他人的机会。除了金钱之外，你还有什么可以与世界分享？你有什么可以传授给他人？有没有什么地方，你的存在可以帮助到别人？

Most unhappy people are living selfish lives without looking at the simplest question of all: What can I give to someone else? Today. Now. Whenever you feel lost, give, share, and love.

大多数不幸福的人都活得很自私，往往忽略了最简单的问题：就在今天，就在此刻，我能给予他人什么？一旦你感到失落，去给予，去分享，去爱。

4

联系

I find that many people who feel stuck in life are failing to actively and strategically connect with others. Once I identify what someone wants, the next step is to make a list of all the people who can help him or her achieve it and then start methodically connecting with all of those people, personally asking each one for help or otherwise shamelessly putting their talents out there in front of them.

我发现，很多对生活感到迷茫的人都没有积极、有技巧地与他人联系。我发现他人的需求之后，下一步就是列出清单，找出所有能够帮助他/她实现这一目标的人，然后开始一步步地联系这些人，请每个人施以援手或是大胆地将他/她的才华展示出来。

Again, most people are terrified to do this. And of course we must figure out how to do it appropriately and with a value proposition. We first need to work on our self-confidence to make it a reality. The fear of connecting with important people in a field of interest is precisely what holds us back from reaching the top.

然而，大多数人都不敢做。要想做到，我们得找到合适的方法，价值观也要明确，第一步就要锻炼自信心。害怕与兴趣领域的重要人士联系正是成功路上的绊脚石。

5

静思

People tend to seriously underestimate the value of silence and stillness in their lives. They run around at 100 miles per hour every day, ingesting so much information and stimulation but never giving it time to settle in.

人们经常严重低估生活中沉默和静思的价值。他们每天开着车疲于奔命，摄取大量信息和外界刺激，但从没有留出时间静下心梳理。

I tell each and every person I work with to sit and be completely still for half an hour every night before bed, a sacred time to turn off all the devices, get into pajamas, prepare the mind for rest, reflect on the day, and let the mind digest how the day shifted things around in its inner chambers.

我建议身边每一位同事每天临睡前完全静下心来，坐半个小时。在这段神圣的时间里关掉所有的设备，穿好睡衣，平复一下思绪，回顾一下当天，在内心深处消化一下白天经历的事情。

The heart can’t speak while the body is moving and the mind is restless, so we have to take these three steps: still the body, quiet the mind, and listen to the heart. Every day.

在身体辗转心绪不宁时，人们无法听到内心的声音，因此必须采取以下三个步骤：停止活动，静下心来，倾听心声。

每天坚持。

6

行动

Most people are faking it. You have to do the same. You will feel one way – and most of the time it’s your animal brain screaming out in fear or laziness – but to go anywhere, you can’t just do what you feel like doing.

大多数人都在装着行动，所以你也一样。你会感觉到——大多数时候是一种出于本能的恐惧或懒惰——不管走到哪都没法随心所欲。

Act like the person you dream of being, and eventually you’ll get there.

放弃伪装，按照理想中的标准行事，最终你会实现目标。

7

奇迹

Researchers estimate that the likelihood of YOU being born to your parents, with your set of DNA, in this particular moment in history – considering all the history of warfare and natural destruction and utter chaos – is about 1 in 400 trillion.

研究人员曾测算过，父母在某一时刻生下自己，也就是说现有DNA存在的概率——考虑到战争史、自然灾害以及天下大乱——约为400万亿分之一。

Everything that has ever happened in the universe has brought you to this moment now. Once you wrap your head around that fact, it’s hard to sit back and feel sorry for yourself or let fear stop you from delivering on what you’re very clearly here for a reason to deliver to us.

你目前拥有的一切皆是迄今为止宇宙中一切事物相互作用的结果。

一旦意识到这一事实，便没有理由再去游手好闲或自怨自艾，或被恐惧所困，没有什么能阻止你努力完成来到世上的使命。

Your life is a miracle.

你的人生，本就是一个奇迹。

So is mine.

我的也是。

Now let’s act accordingly.

就让我们积极行动起来吧。