The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F
I. Q&A
1. What does Charles Bukowski’s success try to prove?
Charles Bukowski's success proved that we don't need to set up some unrealistic determination, just accept who we are and be honesty to ourselves.
2. What’s wrong with the conventional life advice, which is fixating on what you lack?
The conventional life advice always make people focus on their shortcomings and the failures. Even this fixation the positive, it only serves to remind us of we are not good enough.
3. Can you use your own words explaining what the Feedback Loop from Hell is?
In my view, the Feedback Loop from Hell is just like rolling snowballs. When we think about some unhappy things, it makes us very upset, but we couldn't make it stop. What's more, we could think about why we upset and why we cannot make those things to an end. The more things we cannot solve, the more things we cannot stop thinking. Finally, one tiny thing becomes a huge snowball which could destory us.
4. What are the subtleties of not giving a fuck?
Firstly, being comfortable with being different. Secondly, give a fuck about something more important than adversity. Thirdly, more selective about the fucks we're willing to give.
5. What’s wrong with being “perpetually entitled to be comfortable and happy at all times”? Can you think of an example to support your answer?
We should focus and prioritize our own thoughts effectively, figure out what matters to us and what does not matters. Giving to many fucks could make us neglect the more important things which is why we not comfortable and happy. For example, If we were hurted by someone, just try to do something to make yourself feel happy. You needn't bear it in the mind and care about what other people think about you. That's really doesn't matter.
II. Sentences
1. And as the stacks of rejection slips piled up, the weight of his failures pushed him deep into an alcohol-fueled depression that would follow him for most of his life.
pile up 堆积、堆放
the weight of his failures pushed him deep into…… 这一句中的weight 和push 十分形象,与前半句的pile up 对应
2. Stories like Bukowski’s are the bread and butter of our cultural narrative.
bread and butter 基本的生活资料 在这里指Bukowski的故事就好像是随处可见的鸡汤文一样。
3. Self-improvement and success often occur together. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the same thing.
“自我提升和成狗通常一起出现,但这并不意味着二者是一回事。”
4. Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience.
surmount get on top of; deal with successfully
5. To not give a fuck is to stare down life’s most terrifying and difficult challenges and still take action.
stare down to look at (a person or animal) fixedly until his gaze is turned away
III. Thoughts
这真的是一本非常有趣的书,从昨天晚上开始读第一页起,就被作者的文笔深深的吸引,一个劲儿的往下读。观点有趣而新奇,用词俏皮而生动,虽然偶尔有一些完全没有见过的用词,但查过字典后发现是很口语化很实用的词汇。并且,作者讨论的问题非常具有实际意义,当下我们处在消费文化与攀比之风盛行的社会,我们以为拥有了更多的东西、去实现遥远的目标就会快乐,但事实并非如此。总结起来,作者的观点十分明确——less is more 和 let it go。
对我而言,最能够引起共鸣的是the Feedback Loop from Hell。在此就作者的观念稍加引申,我们脑海中的“念头”是念念相续、无有断绝的,尤其是那些让人烦恼的事情,由事情的本身想到原因,再由原因生发出去,想到其他看似不相干的事。事实上,困扰我们的已经不再是原初的事情了,更是像滚雪球一样越滚越大的妄念。
在读到这几段时,我想到去年在导师课上做过的正念训练,在几分钟的时间里观照自己的思绪,结果发现在如此短暂的时间里竟然升起了如此多的念头,并且它们还在不受控制地衍生出新的念头。如何解决这一问题呢?首先我们需要意识到念头的存在,其次,回归到本初的念头上。这也就是《金刚经》中所说的“降伏其心”——
“诸菩萨摩诃萨,应如是生清净心。不应住色生心,不应住声香味触法生心,应无所住而生其心。”
何由而生清净心?并非一念不起,而是心无所住。意识到心中会升起无数个念头,但无论念头升起或灭去,心并不追随而去。我居于川上,俯视心念如水流,此即无所住而生其心。