20190428翻译爱与尊重

2019-04-28  本文已影响0人  Helen_zheng

BELONGING AND SIGNIFICANCE

(LOVE AND RESPONSIBILITY)

Jane Nelsen (3/23/19)

OBJECTIVES:

• To help parents understand the difference between Belonging and Significance, and how important it is to help children feel Belonging (LOVE) and to develop Significance (RESPONSIBILITY). You can give children Love, but they need to develop responsibility.

• Many parents do an excellent job of helping their children feel loved and connected (belonging), but fall a little short in helping their children develop responsibility through contribution (significance). This is one example of being too kind without being firm.

MATERIALS:

• Flipchart paper with two columns labeled Belonging (Love) and Significance (Responsibility) (or a flipchart for each group if dividing into smaller groups of 6 to 12)

• A box of Positive Discipline Tool Cards (or several boxes if dividing into smaller groups)

• Characteristics and Life Skills and Challenges Lists (for the Extension)

COMMENTS:

Many are drawn to Positive Discipline because they are against punishment.

However, some Positive Discipline followers mistakenly believe that Belonging and Significance are the same, and that giving love is the best way to help children feel both belonging and significance. When they don't understand the importance of responsibility, they often fall into the trap of pampering—which often leads children to develop an entitlement mentality. Helping parents understand the difference between Belonging and Significance, and the importance of balancing both, can help children develop the characteristics and life skills they need for successful living.

DIRECTIONS:

1. Share the comment.

2. Pass out all of the Positive Discipline Tool Cards. Each person in the group will have one or several tool cards. (If you have more than one group, each group should have a full deck of tool cards to divide among them.)

3. Display the flipchart with the two columns and say, "Let's take a look at which Positive Discipline Tools help children feel Belonging (Love), and which ones help children develop Significance (Responsibility). We will add an asterisk after the tools that accomplish both Love and Responsibility.

4. Ask for a volunteer to be a scribe to record in the two columns as the participants share which tools should go in each column. (If you have divided the large group into smaller groups, each group should have a flipchart with the two columns for brainstorming.) To save time, request that they just name the tool and don't read the details as they share which cards go in each column.

5. Again, when they think the tool card does both, have them choose one column where it is the strongest, and an asterisk after the name of the tool card when it accomplishes both. (They will soon become aware of how many tools can be encouraging for a challenge while helping children feel loved and develop responsibility.)

6. If several groups have created lists, ask one group to share their flipchart with the whole group, and invite others to share if they have any thing else to add that is different.

7. Invite participants to discuss what they learned from this activity.

EXTENSION:

You might want to come back to this list at the end of the class (or in a follow-up class) and have participants choose a challenge from the Challenges list and create "before and after" role-plays. Scene One to show how the challenge is handled "ineffectively". Scene Two to show how the challenge can be responded to in an encouraging way using one of the Positive Discipline Tools. After each role-play the participants playing kids can look at the Characteristics and Life Skills list to see what they are learning, and the parents can look at the same List to see if they are modeling the things on the list.

Following is an example: (The asterisk implies both.)

BELONGING​(LOVE)​​​SIGNIFICANCE (RESPONSIBILITY)

​​​​

Connection​​​​​Correction

Kind​​​​​​Firm

Mistakes as Opportunities to Learn​3 R's of Recovery

Control your Behavior​​​Act without Words

Agreements​​​​​Follow-through

Allowances​​​​​Ask for Help

Validate Feelings​​​​Anger Wheel of Choice

Break the Mistaken Goal Code​​Avoid Pampering

Closet Listening​​​​Decide What you Will Do

Compliments​​​​​Distract and Redirect 

Curiosity Questions Motivational *​Curiosity Questions Conversational *

Don't Back Talk Back​​​Do Vs. Don't

Encouragement​​​​Empower your Kids *

Encouragement vs. Praise *​​Family Meetings *

Eye to Eye​​​​​Focus on Solutions *

Hugs​​​​​​Jobs

Listen​​​​​​Letting Go *

Pay Attention​​​​Limited Choices *

Sense of Humor​​​​Limit Screen Time

Show Faith​​​​​Logical Consequences

Understand the Brain​​​Natural Consequences

Tone of Voice​​​​One Word

Time for Training *​​​​Silent Signals

Special Time​​​​​Positive Time Out *

Validate Feelings​​​​Problem-Solving *

Winning Cooperation​​​Put Kids in Same Boat *

​​​​​​Routines

​​​​​​Small Steps *

​​​​​​Wheel of Choice•帮助父母了解归属和重要性之间的区别,以及帮助孩子感受归属(爱)和发展意义(责任)的重要性。 你可以给孩子爱,但他们需要发展责任。

•许多父母在帮助孩子感受到爱和关联(归属感)方面表现出色,但在帮助孩子通过贡献(重要性)发展责任方面做得有点短暂。 这是一个过于善良而不坚定的例子。

材料:

•活动挂图纸,标有“归属(爱)”和“重要性”(责任)两栏(如果划分为6到12个较小的组,则为每个组的活动挂图)

•一盒正面管教工具卡(如果分成较小的组,则为几个盒子)

•特征和生活技能与挑战列表(扩展)

评论:

许多人被吸引到正面管教,因为他们反对惩罚。

然而,一些正面管教的追随者错误地认为归属和意义是相同的,而给予爱是帮助孩子感受归属感和重要性的最佳方式。 当他们不了解责任的重要性时,他们往往会陷入纵容的陷阱 - 这通常会导致孩子们发展自己的权利心态。 帮助父母了解归属和意义之间的差异,以及平衡两者的重要性,可以帮助孩子发展成功生活所需的特征和生活技能。

方向:

1.分享评论。

2.传递所有正面管教工具卡。 该组中的每个人都将拥有一个或多个工具卡。  (如果你有多个小组,每个小组都应该有一整套工具卡来划分它们。)

3.用两列显示活动挂图并说:“让我们来看看哪些正面管教工具可以帮助孩子感受归属(爱),以及哪些帮助孩子发展意义(责任)。我们将在工具之后添加一个星号 实现爱与责任。

4.要求志愿者作为抄写员在两栏中记录,因为参与者分享每列中应该使用哪些工具。  (如果您已将大组划分为较小的组,则每组应该有一个活动挂图,其中有两列用于头脑风暴。)为了节省时间,请求他们只是命名工具并且不会读取详细信息,因为他们共享哪些卡去 在每一栏中。

5.同样,当他们认为工具卡同时执行这两项操作时,让他们选择一个最强的列,并在工具卡的名称完成后选择一个星号。  (他们很快就会意识到有多少工具可以鼓励挑战,同时帮助孩子们感受到爱并发展责任。)

6.如果多个组创建了列表,请让一个组与整个组共享活动挂图,并邀请其他人分享,如果他们有任何其他要添加的东西是不同的。

7.邀请参与者讨论他们从此活动中学到的知识。

延期:

您可能希望在课程结束时(或在后续课程中)返回此列表,让参与者从挑战列表中选择挑战并创建“之前和之后”角色扮演。 场景一显示挑战是如何“无效地”处理的。 场景二展示了如何使用其中一个正面管教工具以令人鼓舞的方式应对挑战。 在每次角色扮演之后,玩儿童的参与者可以查看“特征和生活技能”列表以查看他们正在学习的内容,并且父母可以查看相同的列表以查看他们是否在列表中对事物进行建模。

以下是一个例子:(星号表示两者。)

属于(爱)的意义(责任)

连接修正

类公司

错误是学习3 R恢复的机会

无言地控制你的行为法

协议后续通过

津贴请求帮助

验证感情愤怒之轮的选择

打破错误的目标代码避免纵容

Closet Listening决定你将做什么

赞美分散和重定向

好奇心问题励志*好奇心问题会话*

不要回头说话。 别

鼓励给孩子增强能力*

鼓励与赞美*家庭会议*

眼睛专注于解决方案*

乔布斯拥抱

听放手

注意有限的选择*

幽默感限制屏幕时间

显示信仰的逻辑后果

了解大脑的自然后果

语气一词

培训时间*无声信号

特殊时间正时间*

验证感觉问题解决*

赢得合作让孩子们同舟共济*

例程

小步骤*

选择之轮

上一篇下一篇

猜你喜欢

热点阅读