2018-07-27

@Overall: Project Objective

Thank you Stella, I have to say you are always a good story teller.

I believe everyone who are curious about "the guy" that is obviously into you are disappointed in the end. But at least, we have known something new about you in your second ice breaker speech —— Your experience of how you receive your dream offer and personally speaking your attitude towards life seems turn to be more positive.

Also, it's really a tricky way to introduce yourself through a letter or someone else mouth. It just remind me of the Pathways Ice breaker speech of Steve, he try to clerify himself by sharing his adol. With a clear structure of begining, body and ending, you've successfully achieve your goal.

@Speech delivery

Also, your delivery are self-comfort and attractive.

You created a strong audience engagement by using vocal viriety gestures and eye contact.

You are really a professional public speeker.

@Speech design

While, there are some suggestions on speech design.  

1. there is a functional mistake

We know three typical characters of you from the guy's memory —— Eat too much, courage and determination, unworldliness and innocent. But it's obviously to find that "eat too much" is not in the same level. If you want to create a spoiling tone, "love life" seems better.

2. create more drama

In the begining, you give out a question that successfully draw our attention —— you received a letter which empowered you strongly. But I believe some of us are confused when we heard you say "I realize I am such a great person", since in our eyes you are a great person, so the story lacks background or reference or comparision that could make the story more drama.

Then you try to describe yourself in the guys view. From your story, we know that he might be your friend in college that could seen your gradulation and travelling together. What's in our mind is that after all the years he finally want to bare his heart to you. So try to imagine his tone and his feelings. As he was writing to you, the emotional feelings must be deeper and stronger.

So If I were you, I may design the story like this:

Many people may think that you are ordinay, But you are always special to me. Especially when I saw you in the career bottleneck and are trying to convince yourself that you are so. I have to let you know my feelings.

I can still remember how you find the job, you are such a determined girl that seiced the chance. When we are travelling and even in your daily moments, you show innocent and pure soul. You love the life so much that you love eating a lot. In the future I want to company with you and travel around to taste all the special food with the very special and great you.

Love Stella.