译海拾珠04
在一个现代化的城市里,要避免交通阻塞绝非易事。也许一个良好的地铁系统,是减轻交通阻塞的唯一有效方法,可是建设成本十分高。
不好译文:In a modernized city, it is not at all easy to get rid of traffic jams.Probably, a subway system is the only efficient method to decrease the jams; but its cost of construction is so high that people cannot pay.
较好译文:In a modern city, it is not at all easy to avoid traffic jams.Probably, a nice subway system is the only effective means to lessen them;but its cost of contruction is extremly high.
讨论:
1.选词:
@“现代化”:
modernized:brought up to date
modern: belonging to the present time or most recent time
注意看英英释义就可以明白两者之间的差别。
@“避免”
get rid of:“摆脱”之意,而不是“避免”
@“有效的”
efficient:表示“效率高”;if someone or something is efficient, they work well without wasting time, money, or energy
effective:successful, and working in the way that was intended
@“方法”
method:a way of doing something, especially one that is well known and often used;
means:a way of doing or achieving something
看似两者还是蛮相像,但"地铁系统"是一种解决交通问题的工具,
因此,在这里,means比较切合
@“减轻交通阻塞”
"decrease the jam"中的"decrease"偏重于数量的减少,而改用"lessen"则可以表示程度上的减轻。
2.明显的漏/增译
@良好的地铁系统
不好译文遗漏了"良好的",较好译文改为:a nice subway system
@建设成本十分高
不好译文: its cost of construction is so high that people cannot pay,无端加上了一些内容;汉语原文只是说“十分高”,没有表达people cannot pay,所以不应想当然地加上去。
以上内容整理自《通过翻译学翻译》。
译海拾珠:
一个现代城市:a modern city
地铁系统:subway system(美);metro system(英)
transhare君:从不好的译文可以看出,翻译很注重选词,同时要避免想当然的漏译和增译。
Tomorrow isChildren's Day. 愿我们永葆童心,纯粹简单。
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