托福独立作文举例方面的分析

OG满分评分标准其中有一条要求“Is well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details.”即通过使用清晰而又恰当的解释、例子等细节做到全文良好的组织和良好的展开。可见解释、细节、例子等在段落展开中起着举足轻重的作用。

"effectively address the topic and task"对考生想例子至关重要，题目中的前提条件和重心会非常明确地告知考生。

在举例之前，我们需要先读懂独立作文的题目（无论题目的长短），列出题目重心、前提条件和题目对象范围。

例题：Workers would be much happier if they are doing different types of tasks during their workday than doing the same task.

重心：Workers would be much happier

前提条件：during their workday

A: they are doing different types of tasks

B: doing the same task

With the rapid shifts of metropolises, the importance of happiness has been increasingly emphasized by the public. When people are commenting whether workers would be much happier if they are doing different types of tasks during their workday than doing the same task or not, people’s opinions are diverse. With my careful consideration, I personally consent to the perspective that workers would be much happier if they are doing different types of tasks during their workday than doing the same task. My thesis could be circumstantiated by the following two reasons. Firstly, doing different types of tasks can help people gain more knowledge to be happier. Secondly, doing different types of tasks can increase working efficiency to make people happier.

在后续的书写中要注意例子的切题。举例论证的段落结构：提出论点→支持论点→给出例证(细节)→得出结论。即每个论点都要有理由，每个理由都要有例子，每个例子都要有细节。所谓例子可以是自己和身边亲朋好友的例子、名人事迹、调查研究或者假设的内容等等。

【提出论点】Firstly, taking the advantage of dealing with various kinds of tasks, people can easily learn diverse aspects of lore, which capacitates them to be contented. As we all know, people can be more confident and earn more respect when they feel that they are more knowledgeable than others. In fact, people who possess more knowledge could gain a more trustworthy impression to others. Because of that, doing multiple types of tasks can help them to earn more prestige to increase the degree of happiness.【给出例证】 For example, while my friend Sherlock teaches three subjects in a university, obtaining a bright mood every day after gaining more knowledge than other colleagues who major in one subject, my colleague Mycroft always becomes gloomy dealing with the routine work of being an officer.【得出结论】As a result, Sherlock is optimistic for his daily work, but Mycroft is not willing to work and finally left his position. In conclusion, it is necessary to do different types of work to maintain a sanguine mood.

一篇没有例子以及细节描写的独立写作是不可能得高分的，大家平时要注意素材的积累，要有足够清晰的论据（例证）来支撑自己的观点。当然例子也不是越多越好,要有详有略,有抽象有具体,能够从各个方面说明你的观点，这样你的文章才显得有说服力。