育儿宝典拾穗
Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina
nature and nurture, each 50%. What we can do it to maximize the latter.
5 ingredients for intelligence
1. the desire to explore: babies are scientists, and the whole world is their Lab.
2.self control
3.creativity
4.verbal communication
5.interpreting non-verbal communication
the desire to explore:
* babies are scientists, and the whole world is their Lab.
* "Innovators NDA"：
An ability to associate creatively.
An annoying habit of consistently asking "what if."
An unquenchable desire to tinker and experiment. (year 4---6 1/2) inquisitiveness (education and workplace against it)
self control: executive function is a better predictor of academic success than IQ.
(foreign) language learning:
not recordings or DVDs, but you have to deliver the words through social interaction.
the brain needs the information-rich, give-and-take stimulation that another human being provide.
Learning sign language may boost cognition by 50%: (gestures and facial expression)
gestures and speech used similar neural circuits as they develop in our evolution history.
Babies need face time for emotional information. Face-reading ability is very important. Some expression can not be pretended because some facial muscles can can not be controlled.
Universal basic emotions: happiness, sadness, surprise, discuss, anger, and fear.
Team player: to recognize other's on-going emotions to get along.
Innovators are non-verbal experts.
4 brain boosters: Breast-feeding, talking to your baby, guided play, and praising efforts rather than accomplishment.
The brain's day job is not learning, but surviving!
Few interactions with children are as much fun as learning to speak their language. As they learn ours, heaping tablespoons of words into their minds is one of the healthiest things parents can do for their brains.
Remember: it takes a real live person to benefit your baby's brain, so get ready for your vocal cords.
Talk to your baby as much as you can:
Number of words: gold standard: 2100 words per hour.( outside we normally 100,000 w/h)
Variety of words: nouns, verbs, adjectives, along with length and complexity of phrases and sentences.
positive feed back.
over-stimulation can be just as hazardous as under-stimulation.
No language exposing is silly. get into a habit of talking!
Parentese(婴语）：high pitched tone, sing-song voice, with stretched-out vowels
MDP：mature dramatic play: open-end inmaginative role play
regulated by the roles, enhance self-control and regulation.
A play plan: fill out a printed form with colored markers, " I'm going to make a Lego castle and pretend to be a knight."
Practice pretending: "make-believe play practice": "Suppose the baby is crying, what would you say?"
weekly debriefing（conference）
Praise effort, not IQ
effort: the willingness to focus one's attention and then sustain that focus. It also involve impulse control and delay of gratification.
How to get effort? Praise!
But, instead of saying "You are smart! I'm proud of you." say "You must be working hard, I'm proud of you!" (growth mindset praise)
TV, cellphone and internet
Mix research results
But For TV: content is more important, for
1. deferred imitation(延迟模仿) e.g. a 13-month-old can remember an event a week after a single exposure; By the time she is almost a year and half, she can imitate an event for months after a singe exposure.
2. expectations influence behavior.
No boob tube before age 2, because it will lead to hostility,trouble focusing, reading scores and language acquisition.
after age 2, better after age 5, choose those with intelligent interaction.
watch with your child, interact with the media and helping analyze and think critically about what they just experienced.
Video game: sedentary life, unreal world, obese problem
Internet: cut the child away from face-to-face socialization with others.
Encourage an active lifestyle is one of the best gifts you can give your child.
Parenting is not a race. Comparing your child with other's will get you child and your nowhere.
What is happiness？
1.Emotional 2.Moral 3. Judgmental
What is a good life? Grand Study project: 268 Harvard undergraduates, 75 years. conclusion: "the only thing that really maters is relationships to other people."
other factors:
* a steady dose of altruistic acts(无私行为，行善）
*making lists of things for which you are grateful, which generate feelings of happiness in the short term
*cultivating a general "attitude of gratitude", which generates feelings of happiness in the long term.
*sharing novel experiences with a loved one.
*deploying a ready "forgiveness reflex" when loved ones slight you.
Money doesn't make you happier: mid-five figures ($50,000 per year)
