雅思写作雅思托福刷题团雅思作文

雅思写作大作文如何才能上6分?

2019-03-11  本文已影响3人  Ericlub

标题选自知乎,内容属于Eric原创,学生习作范例来自第14期雅思写作集训营。

对于多数考生来说,雅思成绩要求是总分6.5,单项不低于6。不幸的是,国内考试对于口语和写作存在压分的情况(参考阅读:

雅思压分哪家"强"?

),对于基础稍差的学生来说,要让写作和口语同时上6分,实属不易。万年5.5基本都是指写作或口语来说的,今天结合一篇5.5分的学生习作给大家详细讲解:如何才能让雅思写作拿到6分!既然想要上6分,首先要读懂评分标准。


解读雅思写作6分评分标准:

1.试图使用较不常见词汇,但有一些不准确

2.在拼写和构词法上有错误,但这些错误不至于影响阅读

3.语法结构的范围和准确性

4.能使用简单和复杂句子结构

5.语法和标点出现一些错误,尽管这些错误很少导致交流障碍

因此,想要雅思写作拿到6分,首先要确保你写的文章可读性强,即能让考官读明白你写的是什么。

解决办法:

建议大家从写作结构和论证逻辑两方面勤加练习。

请大家看下面的题目和论证段落:

题目:Digital communication technology such as email, instant messaging and social media, has improved communication and connections between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

请大家先认真阅读题目,思考:communication 和 connections 这两个词的区别,因为这是论证主体段的关键。请大家一定要搞懂题目中每一个单词的意思,不能凭着感觉去写,否则写出的文章一定是跑题的,比如来自第14期雅思写作集训营的学员。

下面我们来看看来自朗文词典的英英解释:

学生习作段落节选:

I admit that technology has improved communication nowadays and made the communication of people more convenient and fast. Therefore, people can communicate with others using some technology such as email, instant messaging and social media which can be accessible to other people within a few minutes. In this way, without being bothered by homesickness, some student studying aboard can talk to their parents and friends through social media like Wechat or Skype. In addition, some people suffered adverse diseases are able to share similar feelings to those at the same occasions by social media. 

我们可以发现,上面的段落并没有明显的语法错误,但是可读性却非常差(影响读者理解),主要原因就是论证逻辑比较乱。下面我依次来说明:

1、第2句话和第1句话不是并列关系,而是解释说明,因此连接词使用的不恰当,应该改为:This is because, 或者不用加也可以,因为读者阅读到这里能明白此处是为了解释说明:为什么科技的发展能够够让交流变得更方便、快捷。

2、这个观点写的也并不好,而且明显看出是在刻意使用定语从句

需要解释的是第一句话(科技的发展让人们的交流变得更方便、快捷)

其实很好回答: 人们可以随时随地whenever and wherever通过手机或电脑连接到互联网have access to the Internet上跟家人或朋友聊天。

3、尝试使用不常见单词(accessible),但是并不够准确。我们来看朗文词典的解释:

很显然,单词放在这个句子中并不准确,因此会被扣分。

温馨提示:单词意思把握不准,千万不要想当然的使用。

4、第2个分论点并没有进一步解释说明,只给出了观点。

因此,这样的段落考官最多只会给5-5.5分。

图为集训营作文的批改截图

总结:想要达到6分,那就得逻辑清晰的进行论证,哪怕用词简单、句型简单,但至少要保证准确率。

基于学生思路的基础上修改的原创段落1:

Admittedly,digital communication technology has great improved people's life in terms of convenience and efficiency. In the past, people could only contact with friends and relatives by making a phone call or writing a letter, which is fairly expensive and time-consuming. However, nowadays, it is quite convenient for people to communicate with others through technological tools such as email, instant messaging and social media(e.g. Facebook) as long as they can access to the Internet.

原创段落参考2:

Compared to the past, it is now easier, cheaper and more convenient to communicate with people, wherever they may be. Technologies such as instant messaging, email, or VoIP (e.g. Skype)  have transformed the ways in which we communicate with each other. Thirty years ago, getting in touch with someone in a different country was difficult and frequently expensive. Today, people can take their phone out of their pocket and contact people all over the world at the push of a button.

下图为学生参照批注和解析的修正版本


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