初演

The night

It starts unintentionally

Two old friends meeting up for a chat

We were so relaxed and talking freely without giving much consideration to the topic

It seems no limitations to the words

didn’t give much thought of what shall be talked about or what shouldn’t

Whatever it feels right at the moment

We just laughed and chilled, being ourselves

Then

That one little thing

Changes everything

She mentioned something across her mind

She was not sure if she shall tell me that time

Maybe later with a few more drinks

But I keep pushing her out of curiosity

I was thinking it’s me, it’s gonna be okay

There’s nothing she said could make me change the way I feel about her

And of course

I was eager to know what’s the thing she try to keep away from me

So she said

“how good you gonna be with all the theories you read on the books”

I took it as a challenge

Like she dares you to prove to her

By books you were reading it

But do I really get what it means

Cause I’m so short of practice

I feel like I need to tell her what was on my mind earlier

As honesty to honesty

To show she’s not the only one with crazy thoughts

That line is rehearsing in my head again and again

not because I was hesitating whether or not should I say it

rather I was thinking how to phrase it properly

So she wouldn’t get me wrong

I paused for quite a while

Long enough to get her curious too

Finally I pull the words together and said it out

That while she put her hand absently on your waist even you behave like you didn’t notice it at all

Instead

What you really thinking was

would she just leave it there any longer

BANG

your stupid friend pops out from nowhere

at this precise moment and said some stupid things, greeting you with his stupid ways

Damn he is ruining it

Your moment with her

You were annoyed

not very much moments in your life was ever brave like this

Say the exact thing how you feel

and NOT trying to please people

Just because they want to hear it

And that bastard just walked in and fucked it up

You were so upset cause he tossed it away

all your courage and your sincerity

you know you probably wouldn’t be able to say it again

any other time you might even deny it to yourself

Fortunately he left and get himself a beer

Unexpectedly she saved that moment and sealed it with a kiss

She came towards you at the sofa

Lean on you to the corner

And kissed you with your French fries still in the other side of mouth

You didn’t know by then that this would be the moment you flipped and later on you playback several times just trying to re-feel the thrilling

That moment happened so fast, it took your your consciousness and carried you breath away

You closed your eyes and want to indulge in the good profoundness

Same thing happened last time

It was 10 years ago

But

You fail to concentrate since it’s happening too fast too soon

She caught you guard-less

you were thinking

Hey what’s going on

Hey I have food in my mouth

Hey why didn’t she give me a heads-up so I could be better prepared

Gosh I must taste weird

I must act awful

But you know you actually really really like it

Like the way she did this to you

Like every minute of it

Kissing you without asking for permission

She kissed you in a way like you were never be kissed before

so intensely as to

Squeeze away

the clouds of thoughts

Along with your French fries

melting in the air

Disappearing with the mosquitos in that sofa corner

There’s nothing in your book tells your about this

all the theories and so-called technique seems useless by that time

You aren’t capable of thinking strict

No instructions to guide you as well

not sure how you shall kiss her back

Before you realize

She finished the kiss

But the feelings were still there

In-between your teeth and your tongue

Then your friend come over and sitting there

Discussing things with her

You can’t really move your eyes away from her

Your eyes attached to her face

You licked you lips and bite it hard

As it could stop you from

wondering how her skin feels when your fingers slip from

Her ears

Her eyebrows

Her incredible gorgeous nose

Her lips

Her fingers tip

Her thighs

And her feet in the black shoes

You let her hold your hand

gently tightly sweetly

Your knee touch hers

All you have in mind is

Jeez

Would this man cross the table just shut up and fuck off

You want to say something

Or the urge of do something

Something like

Say hey

Let me do this again

Hey

It’s not fair to get ppl when they’re not prepared

You picture myself brave enough to initiate another kiss

Even right in front of your stupid friend

Because it’s the moment between you and her

And he kind of gets in the way

all the time you were glancing at HER

Paying zero attention to your friend

Regardless of what he is talking

your heart just keep going like cmon

Go and kiss her

Impress her

Show her what you’ve learned

You want to kiss her right

And screw your friend

You could almost hear him commenting as if you already kissed her in front of him

But why do you care

Don’t care if he is watching

Even better when this shocks him

So he is better off and leave you alone

Obviously your consciousness is not with you at the time

Your mind is filled with her kiss and urge to continue that unfinished kiss

So you still keep staring at her

Looking at her with all the things on your head

You ask yourself when this gonna over

The pretending being polite and meaningless conversation

You know what’s it feel like when people just talking without really mean it

You can’t do it

When your heart and mind thinking something else

You lost the ability to talk

And went quiet for almost the whole time