The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck by Mark Manson

Part 1 Q&A

1. Why “we are wrong about everything”?

Growth is an endlessly iterative process. When we learn something new, we don’t go from “wrong” to “right.” Rather, we go from wrong to slightly less wrong. And when we learn something additional, we go from slightly less wrong to slightly less wrong than that, and then to even less wrong than that, and so on. We are always in the process of approaching truth and perfection without actually ever reaching truth or perfection.

2. What caused “false memory syndrome”?

Our mind’s biggest priority when processing experiences is to interpret them in such a way that they will cohere with all of our previous experiences, feelings, and beliefs. But often we run into life situations where past and present don’t cohere: on such occasions, what we’re experiencing in the moment flies in the face of everything we’ve accepted as true and reasonable about our past. In an effort to achieve coherence, our mind will sometimes, in cases like that, invent false memories. By linking our present experiences with that imagined past, our mind allows us to maintain whatever meaning we already established.

3. Tell us a story where you had adamantly thought you were right, but later you found you were wrong.

When I asked my mom where is my clothes or anything that I haven't found it, I was absolutely believed that my mom lost all of these things. Finally, I found something on somewhere that I placed it rather than my mom.

4. How to be a little less certain of yourself? Please include a personal example.

Before we can look at our values and prioritizations and change them into better, healthier ones, we must first become uncertain of our current values. We must intellectually strip them away, see their faults and biases, see how they don’t fit in with much of the rest of the world, to stare our own ignorance in the face and concede, because

part 2 My ideas

Certainty is the enemy of growth. Nothing is for certain until it has already happened-and even then, it’s still debatable.

成长是个不断突破和发现自我但不稳定的过程，还没发生或还没经历过的事早已下定论，是逃避不自信的表现。而且人的年纪越大难以去改变和接受新视野，观念是很难改变的。这让我想起一个故事。古时候一个佛学造诣很深的人，听说某个寺庙里有位德高望重的老禅师，便去拜访。老禅师的徒弟接待他时，他态度傲慢，心想：我是佛学造诣很深的人，你算老几？后来老禅师十分恭敬地接待了他，并为他沏茶。可在倒水时，明明杯子已经满了，老禅师还不停地倒。他不解地问：“大师，为什么杯子已经满了，还要往里倒？”大师说：“是啊，既然已满了，干嘛还倒呢？”禅师的意思是，既然你已经很有学问了，干嘛还要到我这里求教？这就是“空杯心态”的起源，象征意义是，做事的前提是先要有好心态。如果想学到更多学问，先要把自己想象成“一个空着的杯子”，而不是骄傲自满。不断接受新事物，不要对一切的东西保持否认态度，所谓的空杯思想

Part 3 Expression

Throughout my life, I’ve been flat-out wrong about myself, others, society, culture, the world, the universe—everything.

flat-out: as quickly or with as much effort as possible

e.g He worked flat out from morning until night.

还有一个意思是“做事竭尽全力”：doing something flat out means at maximum capacity.

and as I grow older and more experienced, I chip away at how wrong I am, becoming less and less wrong every day.

chip away: to gradually make something weaker, smaller, or less effective

e.g. The company’s dominance of the market is gradually being chipped away.

chip away at:

e.g. Her comments were beginning to chip away at his self-confidence.

But there are particular certainties that we hold on to—certainties that we’re afraid to question or let go of, values that have given our lives meaning over the years.

let go of: release, as from one's grip

Synonyms:

let go, release, relinquish

除此之外还有一个用法，of 后面可以接人或物

let go (of someone/​something) ：to stop holding someone or something

e.g. She refused to let go of her bag and kicked her attackers

But when the relationship sours, we’ll often come to see those exact same memories differently,

sour 不仅是“酸”的意思，还有“恶化”的意思: if a relationship or situation sours, or if something sours it, it stops being successful or satisfactory

e.g. Mutual accusations soured the peace talks.

      As time went by, their marriage turned sour.

our beliefs are malleable, and our memories are horribly unreliable.

malleable means:

A malleable personality is capable of being changed or trained, and a malleable metal is able to be pounded or pressed into various shapes. It's easier to learn when you're young and malleable.

e.g. Europe saw its colonies as a source of raw material and a malleable workforce.