自省 | 有勇气面对失败而引发的遐思
我总是提前预想最坏的结果，然后就不敢迅速行动了。我更喜欢慢慢地、多次地试探，确认好像没什么太大危险之后，再采取下一步行动。像小猫喝水一样：先伸出一只爪子，小心翼翼到水里试探，一切无恙之后才放下心来伸出舌头舔水。
今天看了个名人演讲视频，关于如何看待失败(failure)。坦白来说，我并不是个愿意失败和冒险的人，因为我不敢，我没有勇气去面对失败的结果。
大学时期学旱冰，穿着轮滑鞋的我一开始死死抓着栏杆一步一走，走了两三节课才适应这种新状态，慢慢滑起来。就这还死活不敢离场边栏杆远一点，一直快到学期末才迫于考试压力，能在场中间绕圈滑起来。同选一节课的室友，很快就离开栏杆了，虽然在场内摔了很多次跤，但她滑得越来越快。
我是真的害怕呀。害怕摔倒，因为疼，更因为鬼知道会摔成什么样？是磕个门牙，还是骨折？会不会更可怕？摔个半身不遂脑震荡什么的？
我总是提前预想最坏的结果，然后就不敢迅速行动了。我更喜欢慢慢地、多次地试探，确认好像没什么太大危险之后，再采取下一步行动。像小猫喝水一样：先伸出一只爪子，小心翼翼到水里试探，一切无恙之后才放下心来伸出舌头舔水。
我相信任何事情都有两面性。我这样的行动方式，好处是有效避免一些危险，然而坏处就是错过了“可能性”，并且总觉得自己行动迟缓而有点自责。
虽然话是“Every coin has two sides”，但我总是盯着事物的坏处而苛责自己。什么时候能完全接纳自己，并且相信自己就是最好的呢？我总觉得自己做的好多事，做得都不如别人。
读到这儿的你们，相信自己不论做什么都是最好的那一个吗？好想和你们交流一下哈哈。
完美主义者不接受任何一点败笔，并且会不断给自己提出更高的要求，即使有时是并不现实的要求。我想我不敢面对失败，有一部分原因可能是完美主义在作祟吧。我的室友曾经说，我在她心里是完美的。我得知之后，大为吃惊。明明我一直以为，我在别人心里就是个小透明，完全不会被人惦记的存在啊。所以我才会竭尽全力地维持在旁人面前良好的形象。和不太熟的人会这样，在熟悉的人面前，则会松一口气，反而没有那么努力了。
有的人则相反。陌生人反正也不认识我，没有形象又如何？我却完全不会这样想，总感觉不认识的、不熟的人才会大肆嘲讽我攻击我，因为我身边围绕着的熟人都是同样温柔可亲的。
说自己完全不会冒险，好像并不是这样。明明曾孤身在陌生的国家学习；明明是个旱鸭子还去深潜，还被香蕉船压在水下，经历了被海水慢慢淹没全身的窒息感和面临死亡的恐惧。完全是凭着“虎气”和一时冲动就去冒了很多险。
所以在没有想尝试的强烈欲望驱使时，我就是个彻底的“保守派”。或许我就是这样一个人：本性是谨慎的理智的，但有时候是被感性所驱动的。
然而人是如此复杂的，所以我并没有办法来掌控感性或理性发生的时机。我能做的只有通过生活经验的积累（不管是做对了、还是做错了），来判断什么时候该冒险，什么时候该避险，尽力取得最优结果。
【附演讲链接】
【演讲原文】
I found that nothing in life is worthwhile unless you take risks. Every failed experiment is one step closer to success. You’ve got to take risks and I’m sure you’ve probably heard that before. But I want to talk to you about why that’s so important.
I got three reasons and first: you will fail at some point in your life. Accept it--you will lose, you will embarrass yourself, you will suck at something. There’s no doubt about it and I know that’s probably not a traditional message for a graduation ceremony. But I’m telling you embracing because it’s inevitable. The point is every graduate here today has the training and the talent to success, but do you have the guts to fail?
Here’s my second point about failure: if you don’t fail, you’re not even trying. I’ll say it again-- if you don’t fail you’re not even trying. My wife told me this great expression: to get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. Les Browns, a motivational speaker, made an analogy about this. He says imagine you’re on your deathbed and standing around your deathbed are the ghosts representing your unfilled potential, the ghosts of the ideas you never acted on, the ghosts of the talents you didn’t use and they’re standing around your bed, angry, disappointed and upset. They say we came to you because you could have brought us to life, and now we have to go the grave together. So I asked you today how many ghosts are going to be around your bed when your time comes?
All right, now here’s my last point about failure: sometimes it’s the best way to figure out where you’re going. Your life will never be a straight path because taking risk is not just about going for a job. It’s also about knowing what you know and what you don’t know. It’s about being open to people and two ideas. In the course of the film the character I play begins to take small steps. Small risks he takes very very slowly begin to overcome his fears, and I feel ultimately his heart becomes flooded with love. And I can't think of a better message as we send you off today-- to not only take risks but to be open to life, to accept new views and to be open to new opinions, to be willing to speak at a commencement at one of the best countries in the universities in the country even though you’re scared stiff. While it may be frightening it will also be rewarding because the chances you take, the people you meet, the people you love, the faith that you have, that what’s going to define you.
我是Jasmine
今天是我坚持每天输出的第17/100天
用生命影响生命
我愿意和你一起遇见更优秀的自己！
