The road less traveled ––day3
2019.2.11 乌鲁木齐至杭州飞机上
Yet it is in this whole process of meeting and solving problems that life has its meaning. Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure. Problems call forth our courage and our wisdom;indeed,they create our courage and wisdom.It is only because of problems that we grow metally and spritually.When we desire to encourage the growth of the human sprit.We challenge and encourage the human capacity to solve problems, just as in school we deliberately set Problems for our child to solve. It is through the pain of confronting and resolving problems that we learn. As Benjamin Franklin said," Those things that hurt,instruct."It is for this reason that wise people learn not to dread but actually to welcome problems and actually to welcome the pain of problems.
然而，正是在遇到和解决疑难问题的整个过程中，生命有了它的意义。疑难问题是成功与失败的切割边界。疑难问题唤醒我们的勇气和智慧;实际上，它们创造勇气和智慧。只有疑难问题使我们得到精神上和灵魂上的成长。当我们渴望鼓励心智成长。我们挑战和鼓励解决问题的能力，正如我们在学校全力设计问题让我们的孩子去解答。正如本杰明.富兰克林曾经说得那样，"那些令人受伤害的事，受益"。因为这个理由明智之人不逃避反而发自内心的欢迎问题并且发自内心的欢迎随问题而来的痛苦。
Most of us are not so wise. Fearing the pain involved,almost all of us,to a greater or lesser degree, attempt to avoid problems.We procrastinate, hoping that they will go away. We ignore them,forget them,pretend they do not exist.We even take drugs to assist us ignoring them,so that by deadening ourselves to the pain we can forget the problems that cause the pain.We attempt to skirt around problems rather than meet them head on. We attempt to get out of them rather than suffer through them.
绝大多数的我们没有那么明智。害怕其中的痛苦，我们之中几乎所有人，更多或更少程度上，倾向于逃避问题。我们拖延，希望它们将来自己会消失。我们忽略它们，忘记它们，假装它们不存在。我们甚至服用药物来帮助我们忽略它们，以便减弱疼痛使我们忘记问题引起的疼痛。我们倾向于绕开问题甚于直接面对问题。我们倾向于逃避责任而不是熬过他们。
This tendency to avoid problems and the emotional suffering inherent in them is the primary basis of all human mental illness. Since most of us have this tendency to a greater or lesser degree, lacking complete mental health.Some of us will go to quit extraordinary lengths to avoid our problems and the suffering they cause, proceeding far afield from all that is clearly good and sensible in order to try to find an easy way out, building the most elaborate fantasies in which to live, sometimes to the total exclusion of reality. In the succinctly elegant words of Carl Jung, "Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering."
逃避疑难问题的趋势和他们内在的情感痛苦是人类精神疾病的主要基础原因。因为我们绝大多数人或多或少程度上有这种趋势，缺乏完全的心理健康。我们中有些人将放弃不寻常的努力来避免问题以及它们造成的痛苦，远离所有显然是好的和明智的进而以便试着找出一种简单的方法来，建构起生命中最精巧的幻想世界，有时完全排斥真实的世界。用卡尔.荣格简洁优雅的话说“神经症总是合法痛苦的替代品”。
But the substitute itself ultimately becomes more painful than the legitimate suffering it was designed to avoid. The neurousis itself becomes the biggest problem. True to form, many will then attempt to avoid this pain and this problem in turn, building layer upon layer of neurosis. Fortunately, however, some possess the courage to face their neuroes and begin–—usually with the help of psychotherapy ––to learn how to experience legitimate suffering that results from dealing with problems,we also avoid the growth that problems demand from us. It is for this reason that in chronic mental illness we stop growing,we become stuck. And without healing,the human spirit begins to shrivel.
Therefore let us inculcate in ourselves and in our children the means of achieving mental and spritual health. By this I mean let us teach ourselves and our children the necessity for suffering and the value thereof, the need to face problems directly and to experience the pain involved. I have stated that discipline is the basic set of tools we require to solve life's problems. It will become clear that these tools are techniques of suffering,means by which we experience the pain of problems in such a way as to work them through and solve them successfully, learning and growing in the process. When we teach ourselves and our children discipline,we are teaching them ourselves how to suffer and also how to grow.
What are these tools,these techniques of suffering,these means of experiencing the pain of problems constructively that I called discipline?There are four:delaying of gratification, acceptance of responsibility,dedication to truth,and balancing . As will be evident, these are not complex tools whose application demands extensive training . To the contrary, they are simple tools,and almost all children are adept in their use by the age of ten. Yet presidents and kings will often forget to use them,to their own downfall. The problem lies not in the complexity of these tools but in the will to use them. For they are tools with which pain is confronted rather than avoided,and if one seeks to avoid legitimate suffering,then one will avoid the use of these tools. Therefore,after analyzing each of these tools,we shall in the next section examine the will to use them,which is love.
