Friction

Me: Wow that’s the place?That’s fabulous for us!  If we can get in!

Honeybee: This is the place. The units themselves are decent, but the building itself is a little old. Also, they have mice, and the neighbors are pretty rough. A lot of drug use, alcohol abuse, theft, and other crime. You would have to be extremely careful.

Me: Got you. It is not near your place, half hour driving

Honeybee: 25 minutes. Also, it is on a bus line.

Me: That’s a great news. Thank you very much for the information Honey!

Honeybee: Always happy to help. I wish I could do more.

Me: You did 100 times more than I expected! 🤗 I really wish I could get out here tomorrow. Sigh.

Honeybee: You mean you wish you could get out of there tomorrow?

Me: Yes. I just had a fight with Brian’s Grandma.

I had a busy day, had to get a lot of things done, no time to get kids outside for playing, so they got really wild. When I went to bathroom, Siena started to slam the door again, so I grabbed her and spanked her butt, once. The old lady was mad, she insisted Brian started that first, so I spanked Brian too. But later I found Brian was telling the truth, he was stopping his sister. His grandma didn’t see what was happening, just used her imagination. I actually heard Brian asking Siena to open the door, and same things happened thousands before.

You know, I think I would be fine to deal with both kids no matter how wild they get if nobody put pressure on me. I don’t think my kids are having life like others’, all they can do is to keep quiet.

Brian’s Grandma is Cheryl. She told me she loved the kids to death, but she wouldn’t be willing to spend five minutes with kids when I was at home, no matter how busy I got. And today, I said to her, if kids get wild, she could just walk to them and stop them being bad. Guess what she said? She said she yelled three times.

Ok then, did yelling work? Or maybe she yelled too much. When I tried to communicate and she got mad, she barely was talking, yelled again. So my Dad stopped her. I said to her, she need stop yelling, and abusing, as she said fuck behind me.

Later she got out of the room, I asked her to sit down to talk, she said she couldn’t, she got a headache from kids screaming all day. I said maybe from her games. I wanted to ask her if she knew why the kids got wild, but I didn’t. As I knew she didn’t care. Today she said, she is not the mother, I said but we are in the same house.

So what can I do? I need make money, I need get Brian’s school supplies ready, I need do a lot of stuff more than she can imagine. I was quiet, I didn’t complain and bitch like her, didn’t mean I was idle.

They always say Siena picks from Brian, I doubt with that. Even so, Who made Brian like that. Grumpy, impatient, no manners. Who is the one swearing, bitching, being loud all the time? Who was abusing most when gaming ? Who slammed the door so often that scared all the creatures in this house? Including neighbors. My neighbors even heard she was swearing on Siena when I was not here.

I didnot mention a word, but I can see Siena didn’t want to go to her grandma that much any more.

Tuesday I had to go to urgent care, when I asked her if she could watch the kids, she said “I guess I have to”, as always. And she asked me to put both kids in her room because she need play games.

My Dad keeps saying that Cheryl acted like that because she got badly abused in her childhood. Ok, after these years, why she didn’t change? Treat the family the way she hated to be treated! It doesn’t make any sense.

I am just tired of hearing her talking, I don’t want to hear a word from her any more, so annoying.

I tried so hard to keep being nice.

I wish I could have a corner for me to cry, as loudly as I can get. Nobody bothers me or interrupts me.

Honeybee: Well, if you would like I will let you choose a corner of my apartment and cry on Saturday.

I deeply sympathize with your situation. It is good that you have a place to go. A place to call home. Still, you eventually will need your own place.

I do not see this friction lightning until you are on your own feet. It will take time, and it will not be easy, but I believe you will make it.

Me: If I have to wait I will wait, nothing new, it is just one of the days that I lose control on myself. But I am very depressed, inside. This is a muddy road, but still it is better than one I walked before.