How to control your anger before

Prepare for the Speech Contest

A few days ago ,two family had a brawl and fight in a very violent way ,and the fight reason only for the their  children had little collision when they had dinner in the restaurant .

Two family is broken: one person is dead in the next day  ,two person had serious injury in hospital ,and the last one  had kept in police office  ,the law is wait for him.

so here toady I want to share a topic about : the anger,and how to control your anger before it control you, which also is the name of book from the famous psychologist  Alber Ellis.—Based on a 1982 professional survey of US and Canadian psychologists , he was considered as the second most influential psychotherapist in history btw Sigmund Freud was ranked third. Alber Ellis developed “Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy” (REBT).I will show you the Therapy, which could help us to control our anger.

People all have anger when they face the anger things.However,we have five misunderstanding about the anger :

misunderstanding 1: Reduce your anger by wreak——the short time joy will makes the more anger and violence

misunderstanding 2: Suspend way ( when you find get anger , pause it and take break)—— it’s good way to avoid to do bad thing when we with rage. But it’s just evade way , we can’t solved it at all .

misunderstanding 3: Believe the anger could help you to get you want  ——which will sacrifice your relationship

misunderstanding 4: Believe rethink could reduce the anger——rethink could find out the what’s problem come from? but still we can’t control the anger.

misunderstanding 5: Believe the external event arouse the anger—— in fact the anger is made by yourself .

Last month I found an interesting thing of my husband —Jerry ,every night he took a long time for dump the garbage ,and get up early in the morning ,he went out for a while , btw he is not the early bird ,  and he is no smoker ,so why he is acting so damn mysterious . until one day my neighbor told me , the dustbin downstair has been moved to 200 meters away from the original position, and no one knows who did it .Suddenly , I got know who did .

Jerry has a high demand for his sleep quality . Unfortunately, the cleaner always clean the garbage at 5 clock in the early morning .the clean noise always wake Jerry up from the good dream. He had complain it to property management company for many times, but in  n vain. Every time ,when Jerry was waked up by the cleaner  ,he was so anger , he made a decision, move the dustin two times everyday . and he insist it for one month. Finally , the cleaner accept the new position for the garbage , Jerry could have a good dream .

As the Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy show us : the anger formula is A multiply B equal C ; A stands for unfavorable things  , B stands for belief system ,C stands for anger. when A is can’t  be changed , we could change C by changed B.

we have three way to control your anger

-Thinking mode

-Emotion way

-Behavior methods

Take thinking mode for example , find out the irrational belief part from your belief system, then change the irrational beliefs into rational beliefs.

So the rational belief system is very important : for Jerry ,he believe there is always a solution , he can’t change the cleaner work way —make no noise to clean the dustbin ; and he can’t argue with the cleaner ; but he can move it .he believe it , so he makes no more anger.

We believe there are a lot way to help us to established our rational belief system. and then we could control anger before it control us.