不想借（车、笔记本）给（同事、朋友）

以下对话来自When I Say No, I Feel Guilty:

HARRY: I need to use your car this afternoon.
YOU: Umm. That is a problem, but I don't want to lend out my car this afternoon. [FOGGING and SELF-DISCLOSURE] （清晰直接地表明，不行）
HARRY: Why not?（肯定会问你为啥不借）
YOU: I agree you need it, but I just don't want to lend out my car. [FOGGING and BROKEN RECORD] （先应承，然后再次表明，就是不想借，没有原因，（有权）不给原因）
HARRY: Do you have someplace to go?
YOU: I may want it myself, Harry. [SELF-DISCLOSURE]
HARRY: When do you need it? I'll get it back on time.
YOU: _I'm sure you would, but I just don't want to lend out my car today. [FOGGING and BROKEN RECORD] （先应承，再次表明，就是不想借，没有原因）
HARRY: Whenever I asked to borrow your car, you always lent it to me before.（开始
manipulate，想让你 Feel guilty）
YOU: That's true, I did, didn't I? [FOGGING] （对，你说的没错。说到这里就行，我有权力不再多说）
HARRY: Why won't you lend it to me today? I always took care of it before.
YOU: That's true, Harry, and I can see you're in a jam, but I just don't want to lend my car out today. [FOGGING, SELF-DISCLOSURE, and BROKEN RECORD] （对，你说的没错，但是就是不想借）
HARRY: Look, I'm a good driver and I've never done anything to your car.
YOU: That's true, Harry, _I just worry when I lend my car out, so I don't want to go through that hassle again. [FOGGING and SELF-DISCLOSURE] （是我的问题，我就是不想假借，但了我会担心）
HARRY: You know that I won't damage your car!
YOU: You won't. I know that and it's dumb for me to feel this way, but I do. [FOGGING and NEGATIVE ASSERTION]
HARRY: So why won't you lend me your car?
YOU: Because I don't want to have this worry. [SELF-DISCLOSURE] （我知道，但是我就是会担心）
HARRY: But you know I won't do anything wrong.
YOU: _You're right, Harry. It's not you, it's me that's the problem. I just worry when I lend out my car. So I'm not going to lend it out. [FOGGING and SELF-DISCLOSURE] （强调问题在我，不在你）

关键词：

• 不想借。没有原因，就是不想借。
• 不是你的问题，是我的问题。所以无论你说你会怎么爱惜，我都不能借。