英语口语小笑话：乞丐的英语口语

　　5:00 p.m. Friday, he was at the Pudong airport plane. A friend told him

that the best maglev train ride, because this time in Shanghai, each the size of

the road traffic congestion are confirmed.

　　星期五的下午5点，他在浦东机场下了飞机。友人告诉他，最好搭磁浮列车，因为这时候的上海，每一条大小马路都铁定塞车。

　　So he take the Maglev train to the long yang station, then to the People's

Square subway station, from the direction of the Marriott hotel from metro

station.

　　于是他搭了磁浮列车到了龙扬站，再转地铁到人民广场站，从万豪饭店方向走出地铁站。

　　It seems all is going smoothly and took less than an hour, he was very glad

that they listened to the advice of friends, but also for his wise

decision-making is a modicum of pride, he thought, Now Friends of supper should

catch up Date.

　　一切看来都很顺利，前后花不到一个小时，他很庆幸自己听了友人的忠告，也为自己的英明决策感到些许的自豪，他想，这下子应该赶得上友人的晚餐约会。

　　Baggage dragging him, ready to stop a taxi, this was found Friday evening

in Shanghai a serious shortage of taxis. Even worse is that he can not find a

taxi to stop for a long time, but let their long exposure in the streets of the

"dangerous zone", which brought some good men and women close to him.

　　他拖着行李，准备拦辆出租车，这才发现上海周五傍晚的出租车严重缺货。更要命的是，他拦了半天找不到出租车，反而让自己长时间曝露在街头的“危险地带”，因而招来好几个男男女女向他逼近。

　　He was nervous straight palms sweating, I do not know what will happen

next, which an appearance outside of the baggage to increase, even to idiot can

see are outsiders. But they do not say that the safety rule in Shanghai the

first Chinese please? He began to look search, ready to wait for an opportunity

to the public order or passers-by for help.

　　他紧张得手心直冒汗，不知道接下来会发生什么事，这一身西装革履外加大行李的扮相，连白痴都看得出来是外地人。但是人家不都说上海的治安全中国第一好吗?他开始放眼搜寻，准备伺机向公安或路人求救。

　　"Sir, give points to buy bread block呗!" One seems to age fifty aunt took

away her dumb a voice, as if the vocal cords in card is full of dust, sound

pathetic in shows.

　　“先生，给点钱买块面包呗!”一个看来年纪五十开外的大娘首先发难，她哑着嗓子，好像声带里卡满了灰尘，音质中透着悲情哀戚。

　　He wanted to let her change out of something what not, at least for peace

of mind of their own taxi. But they also see that out behind her ready to attack

the people queuing up long, he has been anxious, to feel that they should get

rid of the .

　　他很想掏个零钱让她随便买点什么，至少可以让自己安心的叫出租车。但是又看到她身后那一列准备排队进攻的人龙，他急了，觉得自己应该想个办法来脱身。

　　"Sorry, I don't know how to speak Chinese (sorry, I do not understand

English)," he thought to himself once the pimps from the streets of Taipei, one

of those pimps are always scared to hear English on the dumb flash change

people.

　　“Sorry，I don’t know how to speak

Chinese(抱歉，我不懂中文)”他想到自己曾经用这招来摆脱台北街头的皮条客，那些皮条客总是一听到英文就吓得变哑巴闪人。

　　Therefore, trick him, his reaction to his secret pride in tact, it is no

wonder that people are born smart.

　　他故技重施，内心为自己的机智反应暗暗自豪，难怪人家都说聪明是天生的。

　　"No Problem, I can speak Eng-lish, give me money, I'm hungry. (No problem,

I would say in English, give me money, I am hungry)," one heard him say in

English, will immediately become a aunt automatic translation machines, switch

to the English channels, but also pronunciation standards than his rhymes, so

that he strongly suspected she had been at the United Nations translate

English.

　　“No Problem，I can speak Eng-lish，give me money，I’m

hungry。(没问题，我会说英文，给我钱，我肚子饿了)”一听到他说英文，大娘立刻变成自动翻译机，切换成英语频道，而且发音比他标准还押韵，让他强烈怀疑她在联合国当过英文通译。

　　He spent immediately looked pale face, gave one of the heavy, dragging

baggage running the streets in Shanghai, Now, he finally know how Shanghai to

compete in this city, even the beggars are so fluent in English.

　　他呆了，马上一脸苍白表情，顾不得一身的重装，拖着行李在上海街头拔腿狂奔，这下子，他终于知道上海这城市有多竞争了，连乞丐的英文都如此流利。