写作(5)|| 公共演讲 || 英国议长教你如何"拍马屁"

2018-06-29  本文已影响0人  Summer_Mai

公众演讲是每个人都需要的一种能力,无论是在学校做自我介绍,毕业时的论文答辩,还是工作室的presentation,公众演讲能力是看一个人能不能够present自己最有力的证据!

当然,这里要讲的不是演讲时应该怎样注意仪态,而是在prepared speech中,我们的演讲稿应该怎么写。这次就不拿小编的拙作献丑了,专门找了一篇堪称演讲范文的文本——英国议长2012年在女王60周年庆典上的演讲。这种情况下的演讲当然是为了“拍马屁”,只能说,议长大人完美地达到了演讲的目的!演讲中,议长大人引经据典,名人名言,出口排比,句句在调上,句句说在女王的心头!

下面是他的演讲稿:

Most Gracious Sovereign,

We, Your faithful commons, are honored to be here to commemorate and celebrate the 60 years of your reign. We too are pleased to have contributed to the Jubilee Window to be revealed shortly and which will mark this occasion permanently. Time is better preserved in this historic place than in fallible human memory. Time also tells its own story.

这段话简直是平衡美的代表,most Gracious Sovereign 与 Your faithful commons,shortly 与 permanently,in this historic place 与 in fallible human memory,对仗非常工整,有没有觉得读起来朗朗上口呢?英语中可以多用一些这种平衡的结构,比如小编在微信公众号死磕经济学人一篇名为写作(1)|| 人物描写 || 寻找“神秘的他”中,也采用了许多这样的平衡结构,见下例:

Iam wakened by the annoying noises across the hall — the twisting of the doorknob and the squeaking of the door opening.

也是前后对仗,但是这句话还可以改进,改成the creak of the doornob twisting and the squeak of the door opening,这样才叫完美对仗!

Sixty years ago, rationing meant rather more than a short wait before the arrival of the latest electronic item. Sixty years ago, Britain has just emerged from a war of an intensity never seen before or since and had slipped into the shadow of the Korean conflict. Sixty years ago, a new Elizabethan Era was awaited with enthusiasm tinged with uncertainty about the challenges ahead for the country.

这一段,采用排比句式,用三个排比增强了文章的气势,给大家介绍一下,这种排比的句式用在演讲时的自我介绍也非常好。比如,小编要介绍自己是1994年出生的,可以这样写:

In 1994, the State Department of the Chinese government initiated the first recruitment of civil servants; in 1994, America, Canada, and Mexico signed the North American Free Trade Agreement; in 1994, the debris of Comet No. 9 collided with the Jupiter; and in 1994, a burst of resounding cry broke the silence of the midnight, and a girl name Summer was born.

下次大家做自我介绍的时候,可以试试用这个方法哟!

这段话的用词也非常考究,毕竟读过书的人就是不一样。如在说英国走出战争时说的不是get out from a war,而是emerged from a war;陷入...的阴影 slip into the shadow of;还有最后一个词,tinge,这个单词可以做名词,可以做动词:微微带着一点......的气息,也可以说”一抹...的气息,一股...的气息",比如a tinge of fragrance 微微的香味。

If, as Gandhi asserted, the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others, then Your Majesty must have found Yourself countless times over the last six decades. You have dedicated Your life to others. The daily example that You set, mirrored by our courageous armed forces of which You are Commander-in-Chief, is extraordinary. Yet perhaps Your Majesty’s most profound contribution has been to the continuity that has made change manageable. For transformation is inevitably turbulent. It has been for Your singular accomplishment, Your unique capacity, to hold together that which could have been torn asunder.

小编认为,加粗的这句话,是整篇文章中写得最好的一句话,因为这句话的“马屁”拍的最到位。先引用名人名言,这个 tactic 是我们在写作时都会用而且经常用到的话,但是大家要注意了,我们的名人名言,要有一点含金量,不能每次都是那几句——失败是成功之母,,微笑是最好的良药等等,也要多积累一些现代名人,领袖的名人名言,像 Abraham Lincoln说过,“If you want to test a man's character, give him power."(PS:这句话议长大人在威斯敏斯特宫欢迎奥巴马是也引用过)

名人名言的用法,除了照搬,还有一种 skewed quotation,这也是一种修辞手法——改引,用上面这句林肯的名言举个例子就懂了:

Abraham Lincoln said, “If you want to test a man's character, give him power." While I say, " If you want to test your friendship with someone, drink with them."

后面这句 I say 的话就是改引。

好,回到原文,为很么说这一句话马屁拍的最到位呢?

If, as Gandhi asserted, the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others, then Your Majesty must have found Yourself countless times over the last six decades.

甘地说过,发现自我(find Yourself)最好的方式就是完全沉浸到服务他人的状态之中。如果这句话在理,那么女王陛下一定多次发现自我(言下之意是女王陛下就是那个一心一意为他人服务的人),所以说这句马屁很到位呢!

我们来仿写一下,如果相反,我们要怼一个人,用这句话应该怎么怼:

If, as Gandhi asserted, the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others, then you must have never found yourself.

最后一句话也是句内平衡的非常好——It has been for Your singular accomplishment, Your unique capacity, to hold together that which could have been torn asunder. 而且hold together 与 torn asunder 这两个词组用了homeoteleuton 的修辞手法,homeoteleuton 是尾韵,与alliteration 头韵相对,指的是两个单词的最后一个音节发音一致,in this case,together 与 asunder 中,er 的发音一致。这种手法也是诗歌中经常用到的修辞手法,以小编翻译的巨星毛不易的《消愁》歌词为例:

一杯敬明天,一杯敬过往

支撑我的身体,厚重了肩膀

虽然从不相信所谓山高水长

人生苦短何必念念不忘

A toast to the future that gives me power;

A toast to the past that makes me stronger;

Not believing that anything can last forever,

Life is so short that there’s no room for mind-clinger.

查看完整版翻译,进入微信公众号死磕经济学人,搜索消愁(英文版)|| Drawn My Sorrows

You have moved with the times and allowed the times to move around the rest of society. This is a different Britain from 1952, but not one detached from then. We are in so many ways a much bigger, brighter and better United Kingdom.

bigger, brighter and better 是头韵,这个修辞手法是小编百说不厌的修辞手法,具体请参考语法精髓(1)|| 专治各种疑难句型

This is a land where men and women today are equal under the law and where Your people are respected, regardless of how they live, how they look or how they love. This is a nation of many races, faiths and customs, beginning now to be reflected in Parliament. All this progress has occurred during Your reign. You have become, to many of us, a kaleidoscope Queen of a kaleidoscope country in a kaleidoscope Commonwealth. This gathering is one of many diverse events across these islands in tribute to You and this great anniversary. 

这一段话也是环环紧扣,句与句之间是排比,增强气势,句子内部也是对仗工整,巧妙利用repetition,alliteration,行文堪称优美!

其中 how they live, how they look and how they love 不仅是句子内部的排比,重复,而且还是alliteration——live+look+love三环紧扣。races, faiths and customs 则是尾韵。

下一句a kaleidoscope Queen of a kaleidoscope country in a kaleidoscope Commonwealth,一般情况下,英文是避免重复的,因为害怕累赘,但是这里,不仅不显得累赘,而且给文章增加了气势!

Our affection as a nation will rightly embrace the Duke of Edinburgh and other members of Your family. These will be moments striking for the sincerity expressed as much as for the scenery encountered.

Sixty years of stability.

Sixty years of security.

Sixty years of certainty.

Sixty years of sacrifice.

Sixty years of service.

这句话也是讲求平衡——the sincerity expressed and the scenery encountered 都是名词加过去分析过后置定语的结构。而且后面这五个短句更是各种修辞手法夹杂——stability, seciruty, certainty三者是尾韵,stability,secu,cer,sacrifice,service五者是头韵。

Gandhi also observed that in a gentle way, you can shake the world. Your Majesty, in agentle way, You have shaken the United Kingdom and the world for six decades. On behalf of the members of the House of Commons, may I thank you wholeheartedly for all that You have done, are doing and will do for the good of our country.

最后这一段又一次引用名人名言,用甘地的话来总结, 用甘地的话来赞美伟大的女王。这一段的最后一句也非常常用——将过去(have done),现在(are doing),将来(will do),再举几个例子:

I was, am, and will always be there for you.

我过去,现在,将来都一直陪着你。

整篇演讲稿读下来非常有音韵感,建议大家可以多读几遍,甚至背下来,学英语从模仿开始,不仅模仿口音,还模仿写法,祝大家在学英语的路上越走越远!

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