爱恨交织的亲情

Many times i imagine that after my parents' death i could begin my new life. Not obese, not weak and tired,not stupid and clumsy. But frankly, mum was so energy-consuming to adopt me from a naive baby to a grown-up. So i know i should keep her kindness in my heart and give her a happy rest life. But i don't know if i could live to that day. It made me grateful to mum once i made my  underpant dirty with shit, that day mum washed my body with clear water. She didn't feel uneasy with the smelly filthy thing in my pant and she didn't get angry to my misbehavior.