丧丧的又何妨,别人照样喜欢我

2019-02-09  本文已影响93人  静静的含羞草

心理

丧丧的又何妨,别人照样喜欢我

2019-02-09

今日导读

生活中,似乎总有一些人很讨人喜欢,他们能与刚认识的朋友谈笑风生,散发出与众不同的人格魅力;而另一些人,却没有那么讨喜,连认识很久的朋友都不敢轻易和他们开玩笑。比如《红楼梦》中的薛宝钗,善解人意,左右逢源,在贾府里复杂的人际关系中游刃有余;而林黛玉则相反,她所到之处都能给人一种忧郁冰冷、不近人情的感觉。今天 Daniel 老师带来了一篇精选自《大西洋月刊》的新闻,从心理学的角度探讨了这个话题,我们一起来看看吧。

带着问题听讲解

Q1: “情绪临场感”是什么意思?

Q2: 固定搭配“may well do sth”是什么意思?

Q3: 积极的临场感一定是好的吗?

新闻正文

The personality trait that makes people feel comfortable around you

让大家在你周围感到舒服的个性特征

Some people can walk into a room and instantly put everyone at ease. Others seem to make teeth clench and eyes roll no matter what they do. A small body of psychology research supports the idea that the way a person tends to make others feel is a consistent and measurable part of his personality. Researchers call it “affective presence.”

有的人能做到一走进房间,立马让所有人感到轻松自在。有的人似乎无论做什么都让别人咬牙切齿、大翻白眼。一小部分心理学研究支持的观点是,一个人平时给其他人带来的感觉,其实是他的个性中较为稳定并且可以衡量的一部分。研究人员将这个部分称为“情绪临场感”。

This concept was first described nearly 10 years ago in a study by Noah Eisenkraft and Hillary Anger Elfenbein. They put business-school students into groups, had them enroll in all the same classes for a semester, and do every group project together. Then the members of each group rated how much every other member made them feel eight different emotions: stressed, bored, angry, sad, calm, relaxed, happy, and enthusiastic. The researchers found that a significant portion of group members’ emotions could be accounted for by the affective presence of their peers.

大约 10 年前,Noah Eisenkraft 和 Hillary Anger Elfenbein 在一项研究中首次描述了这一概念。他们将商学院的学生分组,让他们在一个学期里注册了同样的课程,并且一起完成所有的小组作业。然后,每个小组的成员评估了别人给自己留下的八种不同情绪的强度高低,这些情绪包括:压力感、无聊、生气、伤心、平静、轻松、快乐以及热情。研究人员发现,他们情感众的很大一部分能通过其同伴的情绪临场感作出解释。

It’s been known for some time that emotions are contagious: If one person feels angry, she may well infect her neighbor with that anger. But affective presence is an effect one has regardless of one’s own feelings—those with positive affective presence make other people feel good, even if they personally are anxious or sad, and the opposite is true for those with negative affective presence.

很早之前,我们就知道情绪是具有感染力的:如果一个人生气了,她的怒气很有可能殃及到她周围的人。但是,情绪临场感是一种和一个人自身感受无关的效应——尽管自身其实感到焦虑或伤心,那些具有积极情绪临场感的人还是会让别人感觉良好,而对于那些具有消极情绪临场感的人,即便自身感到幸福快乐,仍然会让别人感觉不佳。

Elfenbein notes that positive affective presence isn’t inherently good, either for the person themselves, or for their relationships with others. Psychopaths are notoriously charming, and may well use their positive affective presence for manipulative ends. Neither is negative affective presence necessarily always a bad thing in a leader—think of a football coach yelling at the team at halftime, motivating them to make a comeback.

Elfenbein 提出,积极的情绪临场感并不是天生就是好的,对于个人来说如此,对于个人与周围人的关系亦然。众所周知,精神变态极具个人魅力,也很有可能使用他们的积极情绪临场感来达到操纵他人的目的。对一名领导来说,消极情绪临场感并不一定总是件坏事儿——你可以想象一下足球教练在中场休息的时候冲着队员大喊大叫,以此激励球队进行反击。

—————  文章来源 / 大西洋

重点词汇

trait/treɪt/

n. 特点,特征

e.g.

英文释义:a particular characteristic that can produce a particular type of behavior

at ease

放松的;不拘束的

e.g.

例句:He felt completely at ease.

搭配短语:set sb. at ease

clench/klentʃ/

v. 咬紧(牙关);握紧(拳头)

e.g.

搭配短语:clench one's fist

rate/reɪt/

v. 评估;给...划分等级

e.g.

英文释义:judge the value of sth.

例句 1: On a scale of one to ten, I'd rate this book a seven.

例句 2: The movie is highly rated.

派生词:underrate/overrate

account for

就...作出解释,说明原因

e.g.

英文释义:to explain the reason or the cause for sth.

例句:Can you account for your absence last Friday?

contagious/kənˈteɪdʒəs/

adj. (情感)具有感染力的,蔓延的;传染的

e.g.

搭配短语:a contagious disease

例句:Her enthusiasm is contagious.

may well

很有可能

e.g.

例句:What you say may well be true.

英文释义:be very likely to do sth.

近义词:could well

regardless of

不理会,不管,不顾

e.g.

英文释义:without regard or consideration for sth.

搭配短语 1:regardless of age

搭配短语 2:regardless of race or religion

inherently/ɪnˈhɪərəntli/

adv. 内在地;固有地,天生就有地

e.g.

派生词:inherent (adj.)

例句:The work such as installing air conditioning in a high-rise building is inherently dangerous.

psychopath/ˈsaɪkəpæθ/

n. 精神变态者

notoriously/noʊˈtɔːriəsli/

adv. 臭名昭著地,声名狼藉地

e.g.

派生词:notorious (adj.)

搭配短语:be notorious for sth.

例句:The company is notoriously inefficient.

manipulative/məˈnɪpjəleɪtɪv/

adj. 操纵的;有控制欲的

e.g.

派生词:manipulate (v.)

搭配短语:calculating and manipulative

comeback/ˈkʌmbæk/

n. 反驳,反击;重新流行;补偿

e.g.

近义词:fightback

例句:She made a comback with her new album.

拓展内容

American Psycho 《美国精神病人》

American Psycho 《美国精神病人》是一部于 2000 年 4 月 14 日在美国上映的恐怖片,电影改编自布莱特·伊斯顿·艾利斯(Bret Easton Ellis)的同名小说,描述了一个拥有双重性格的华尔街骄子疯狂杀人的故事。帕特里克·贝特曼(Patrick Bateman)是一名富有的华尔街金融家的骄子,也是一名炙手可热的股票经纪人,年轻有为的他每天帮自己的客户赚钱赚得盆满钵满。

他受过良好的教育,不但长得英俊迷人,谈吐还非常风趣幽默。不过,这一切都是他在白天时候的样子。每当夜幕降临,黑暗就会唤醒贝特曼双重性格中“十分邪恶”的一面。在夜晚,他是一个魔鬼:任何人都可能成为他无缘无故残杀与强奸的对象。他将“猎物”绑架到自己的豪华公寓,然后对他们进行折磨。看着鲜血从“猎物”身上慢慢涌出并且痛苦地死去,贝特曼心中会产生一种莫名的快感。他会坐在“猎物”旁边,悠闲地抽着雪茄,“欣赏”着在房间里悬挂着的摇摆的躯体,内心感到从未有过的平静。

帕特里克·贝特曼的杀人动机看上去非常简单:物欲横流的华尔街让他成为了一名极端的拜金主义者,他不能与这个世界存在任何物质上的差距,别人的一点点优势都会引起他异常的嫉妒和憎恨。《纽约时报》专栏作家曾经这样评论电影中的贝特曼:“帕特里克·贝特曼生活在一个道德贫乏的世界里,在这个世界里,衣服比皮肤更重要,财富比血液更重要,灵魂的探究只能靠刀子、斧子和钻头。”

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