The fine art of small talk 1

你有社交恐惧症吗？到陌生的环境就尴尬不知道如何开口？

本书的作者小时候很胖，因此十分自卑，不爱和别人说话。后来的工作也是不太需要和人沟通的程序员。而一到需要和人沟通的party或和陌生人一起就尴尬。她逐渐发现很多人和她一样，于是她开始思考如何克服这种障碍。

看看作者是怎么教你的吧！要尽力把对方的名字发对，让对方感受到诚意。如果不记得对方的名字，可以直接问明白。

Names are the most important words in the English language

首先，作者强调了名字的重要性。不要说nice to meet you，而要说nice to meet you+某人的名字

How to approach people?

1. introduce yourself, they will model you ,as you do. Give them a tag line

开场白，介绍自己。你怎么介绍自己，对方一般也就会按你的方式介绍他。比如说：你好！我叫CY，我现在**公司，从事**工作。如果你真诚的介绍自己，对方也会如此。其次微笑和眼神交流也非常重要。

2.give eye contact, hopefully you will get it back

3. smile first, smile right back 

Everyone has the chance to say hi the first. Be proactive.

How to make a conversation?

with open ended questions./not close-ended question

什么是close-ended question?就是那种能把天聊死的，让尴尬瞬间来袭的话题。比如：

What do you do?

How was school today?-I don't know./tell me about 

那应该怎么做呢？用open-ended question.比如：

how were your holiday? .../describe your project. conversational ball

the key is to show interest in others.

Tell me about your....holiday. describe them to me

there will be dead air.what is your great challenge staying at home

effective icebreaker ，记住以下一些破冰问题

1. Describe the town you grow up in

2.what was the best prize you ever received.

3. Tell me about your favorite restaurant

4. Describe your first away from home living quarters.

5. How do you two meet?How do you two know each other情侣，夫妻

6. what got you marketing?

7. how did you make that happen? how did you come up with that idea.

what  brought here

8. what is your most challenging part of your job

9 tell me about your family tradition 

tell me about your coming vacations