爱到最后还剩下什么？毛姆很早就给出了答案
在那么多写出了经典爱情巨作的作家里，我最爱的是毛姆。
在经典小说《面纱》The Painted Veil中，他写了这样一段饱满澎湃的告白：
It's comic when I think how hard I tried to be amused by the things that amused you and how anxious I was to hide from you that I wasn't ignorant and vulgar and scandal-mongering and stupid. I knew how frightened you were of intelligence and I did everything I could to make you think me as big a fool as the rest of the men you knew. I knew that you'd only married me for convenience. I loved you so much, I didn't care.
为了欣赏你所热衷的那些玩意儿我竭尽全力，为了向你展示我并非不是无知、庸俗、闲言碎语、愚蠢至极，我煞费苦心。我知道智慧会令你大惊失色，所以处处谨小慎微，务必表现得和你交往的任何男人一样像个傻瓜，我爱你如此之深，这我毫不在意。
Most people, as far as I can see, when they're in love with someone and the love isn't returned feel that they have a grievance. They grow angry and bitter. I wasn't like that.
据我所知，人们在爱上一个人却得不到回报时，往往感到伤心失望，继而变成愤怒和尖刻。我不是这样。
I never expected you to love me, I didn't see any reason that you should. I never thought myself very lovable.
我从未奢望你来爱我，我从未设想你有理由爱我，我从未认为我自己惹人爱慕。
I was thankful to be allowed to love you and I was enraptured when now and then I thought you were pleased with me or when I noticed in your eyes a gleam of good-humored affection.
对我来说能被赐予机会爱你就应心怀感激了。每当想到你跟我在一起是愉悦的，每当我从你的眼睛里看到欢乐，我都狂喜不已。
I tried not to bore you with my love; I knew I couldn't afford to do that and I was always on the lookout for the first sign that you were impatient with my affection. What most husbands expect as a right I was prepared to receive as a favor.”
我尽力将我的爱维持在不让你厌烦的限度，否则我清楚那个后果我承受不了。我时刻关注你的神色，但凡你的厌烦显现出一点蛛丝马迹，我便改变方式。一个丈夫的权利，在我看来却是一种恩惠。
毛姆怕是比任何都要了解，爱一个人，是接纳ta的全部，好的坏的，良善的，不堪的。
爱的对立面是什么呢？是恨吗？
《面纱》里，女主凯蒂与情夫通奸被男主沃尔特撞见，沃尔特给凯蒂两条路：如果情夫愿意与妻子离婚并娶她，那么他同意离婚。否则，凯蒂就要跟着他去霍乱疫区。
这是爱而不得之后萌生的恨意与报复吗？睿智如毛姆，他没有在余篇里纠结这个问题，而是让读者看到凯蒂的成长与救赎。
尽管，她为此付出了失去此生唯一挚爱的惨痛代价。
所以，爱的对立面是什么？是沃尔特毫无保留的爱过之后又深入骨髓的恨与报复吗（姑且肤浅地认为他将凯蒂带入疫区是对她的报复）？抑或是爱的悲剧就像凯蒂与沃尔特这般最终天各一方？
恐怕都不是。
毛姆后来这样写道：
The tragedy of love is not death or separation. The tragedy of love is indifference.
爱的悲剧不是生离死别，而是冷漠。
世事无常。前一秒晴空万里，后一秒家破人亡。对故去旧爱的思念撕心裂肺，却终也难以对抗时光的静水深流。你难过的，不过是他看似情深绵绵后猝不及防的转身，奔向新的温柔乡；你愤怒的，亦不过是他痴情人设背后打得劈啪作响的小算盘。而过去这几年来，那些字字泣血的对亡妻的祭奠，几分情深，几分算计，若再计较，又是多么可笑。你遂明白有句老歌里唱的：
“相聚离开，都有时候；
没有什么会永垂不朽。”
睿智如毛姆。很早就参透了这个理：
The secret to life is meaningless unless you discover it yourself.
他想要提醒你，人生就是无意义的，一切一切。但话到嘴边又收回，只留下一声轻叹，这个理需要你自己参透，才算有意义。
虽然写过许多爱情悲剧，但毛姆依然有积极乐观的一面：
Nothing in the world is permanent, and we’re foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we’re still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it.
既然没有什么会永垂不朽，何不活在当下，莫使金樽空对月？
