Life in the Time of COVID-19 (7)
Click here for previous blog on the night of full moon
Is race even a topic?
(Yes! Check the increasing reported cases of vicious crime against Asians since the spread of COVID-19 in America! And I condemn them all!)
After Wuhan and most parts of China were locked down for about one and half months, and increasing cases were reported in Japan, South Korea and Iran (all these are Asian countries), cases in Italy were just starting to get some attention, on March 12, Tom Hanks tweeted that he and his wife Rita Wilson tested positive for Coronavirus.
I personally credit Tom Hanks for saving countless lives. His tweet shocked the world and sent the Western countries in the mode of self quarantine and lock down in a matter of days. Scientists can calculate how many more lives every day’s delay of lock down would have claimed in each country. Although I only know Tom Hanks through the beautiful roles he played in movies, I can feel that he sent that tweet to warn the world with full intention.
A few days later, in hindsight, my son said, “shoot, had I known even Tom Hanks would test positive, I would have shorted everything in my portfolio.”
He is 16 years old. He has a gaming stock account with Market Watch and he plays with fake money in the real stock market.
My son lives in China with his Chinese born mom. (He has a Caucasian surname.) China has been under lockdown and he has been out of school for 45 days by then. Thousands of Chinese people were dying due to the virus. None of these seemed to have brought Coronavirus closer to him than Tom Hanks’ tweet from thousands of miles away.
How come?
My brain is too constrained and my vocabulary is too shallow to describe or explain what goes under people’s subconsciousness. I can only imagine in my son’s brain and many people’s brain, it went something like this, “If even Tom Hanks can get it, I, or any (Caucasian) person could get it too! Therefore, we must have a big problem to deal with.”
Civilization has never stopped evolving itself, and despite thousands of years of evolution, will we ever be able to get out of our animalistic instincts?
On the other hand, do we want to?
I once went out with a man who traces his ancestry to Africa. When we first met, his first questions were if I was “color blind” when it came to dating, and how comfortable I was to walk with a black man. He has a beautiful smile with pure pure love for truth!
By then I already felt very comfortable to walk with a black man because my children were already older and I have become more confident in myself. But the truth is, no matter how hard I try, I would never say I am “color blind”. However, being conscious of the issue of race, and the fact that I am of “yellow color”, and I will (proudly) carry this birthmark to my deathbed, I make all conscientious efforts to overcome my own inner demons: I truly want to embrace and love mankind of all kinds and all races.
But imagine how hard it would be to confront your daily life if you’d have Caucasian-Asian mixed young children and you would then date a black man or even an Asian man (of your own kind)? Even if you have all the openness and love at heart, do you want to expose your children to the world’s judgement at once?
Mankind is kind. Mankind is cruel.
On one hand we are constantly adapting and evolving ourselves, for we don’t want to be the next dinosaur; On the other hand, we are constantly trying to preserve our own unique identity, for if we don’t, to power phrase, our life and ALL LIVES would cease to have meaning!
For evolution, we need diversity. For preserving our identity, we desire uniformity and tradition. Blessed and cursed with the most powerful brain of all species that we know to exist in the universe, it has been a constant struggle for us humans to balance the two since the dawn of our civilization. Perhaps because we are hardwired to believe there are not enough resources for all, and perhaps we don’t, we constantly fight for survival, and for continuation, which is also survival for a bigger group than oneself. For every fight every time we have at least one same or different enemy, and we have one or more, same or different allies. It’s all about survival, survival of ourselves, our clans, our race, our country, ... and our mankind. But mankind is usually the last thing we worry about. Mankind will only be united if the ultimate common enemy, the aliens are coming to kick us out of this planet, like described in The Three Body Problem. I was hoping this virus pandemic would do the same, to unite us all. Apparently not yet. Obviously we still see each other as the bigger enemy than the virus itself. So, until the aliens or a really unimaginable devastating disaster (perhaps even significantly rising sea level won’t do, because most likely we would then just kill each other to try to conquer and occupy the highest plateaus and mountains), we will not stop fighting among ourselves. - Perhaps this sounds too pessimistic, too dark. I would like to think if there is abundance, if everyone believes there is enough for everyone, then we won’t fight any more. But then! We will for sure become complacent. If there is enough for everyone for everything, why should anyone work harder than anyone else? Then, how is that abundance sustainable? Now you see, I exhausted my own arguments against myself.
Recently, Andrew Yang, this year’s Democratic Party presidential candidate, the first of Asian origin, told all Chinese and Asian Americans “to embrace and show our American-ness in ways we never have before. We need to step up, help our neighbors, donate gear, vote, wear red white and blue, volunteer, fund aid organizations, and do everything in our power to accelerate the end of this crisis. We should show without a shadow of a doubt that we are Americans who will do our part for our country in this time of need.”
This has sparked big debates. Why do we need to show our Americanness more than any other race under this pandemic?
Is it because we feel guilty that the virus started in Wuhan, and Trump called it “Chinese Virus”, and now we need to prove our innocence and worthiness in front of all non-Asians?
But can we really blame Andrew Yang for stating “there is a big elephant in the room?”
When the epidemic was spreading in China, and most people outside of China were watching or describing the people drowning in the water, all the overseas Chinese, concerned about their families and friends in China, poured all their hearts out to give back to their roots by collecting money and masks to send back to China.
Now as the epidemic has become a pandemic and the situation outside of China has become gravely serious, people of Chinese origin are having the least cases outside of China, for they have been taking extra cautions to protect themselves thanks to their own “Tom Hanks” to sound the alarm. What are they doing now? Pouring their hearts out to donate money, masks and gowns to hospitals and communities in their adopted countries around the world to fight the pandemic.
Here I would like to plug in one example from my alma mater:
“The Columbia Alumni Associations in Greater China united fellow Columbians across Asia and New York to battle against Covid-19. Raising over 7 million RMB (US$1 million) in cash and in-kind donations from over 200 donors, Columbia alumni procured and distributed personal protection equipment (“PPE”) for more than 1,000,000 surgical masks, 20,000 N95 masks, 60,000 face shields, 350,000 medical gloves, 20,000 Protection Coveralls & Isolation Gowns and 100 Thermodetectors over 10 hospitals, in NY, NJ and MA within a three-week period.”
If you would only know how hard and heroic it was!
For the governments of the concerned countries have been flighting and making such efforts very difficult! And the liabilities of such kindness could be very high in America! Despite the mountains of challenges, not only these volunteers relentlessly collected money and bought PPEs with FDA required certification, they also tirelessly organized countless shipments in small packages and door to door deliveries to hospitals in and around New York City, which are in dire need of help.
When I see those packages go out, I tear. For the beauty of humanity.
For with thee is the fountain of life; and in thy light shall we see light.
I don’t know them personally. My hat off to them, my fellow Columbians!
Are we, as a race, exerting our collective efforts to redeem ourselves from a crime that we didn’t commit? Or are we just doing this because of our love for our city, for people, and any people?
Is this distinction important?
As usual, I have more questions than answers. And my daughter, after reading this blog, criticized me for dancing around the real issue of race. (I admit, writing is a constant work in progress. I come back to edit each essay many times or write a new one as new thoughts pour in. And even then I know I am only scratching the surface.)
But despite all the confusions, misunderstandings, and occasional feelings of despair, seeing what my fellow Chinese Columbians and many Chinese friends are doing these days, how can I help but feeling hopeful, and feeling proud that I am Chinese, I am American, and I belong to our human race with all our kindness and sins.
I want to end today’s blog with the quote on the packages sent to New York, our beloved city of light:
“For with thee is the fountain of life; and in thy light shall we see light.” “借汝之光，得见光明。”
May you and I see light every day! “May you live long, and I never die.”
Xiangwei
On Good Friday,
April 10. 2020, Shanghai
