Words and phrases

Some nights he’d want us to crash with him at his converted garage flat in Orange Grove, which we did.

crash  informal) to fall asleep; to sleep somewhere you do not usually sleep

 入睡；(在不常睡觉的地方)睡觉:

例句»I was so tired I crashed out on the sofa.我累极了,在沙发上就睡着了。

»I've come to crash on your floor for a couple of nights.我来你家打几个晚上的地铺。

His mom treats him with a certain level of respect as the dad’s surrogate.

surrogate 替代的；代用的

例句»She saw him as a sort of surrogate father.在她心目中,他彷佛是能替代父亲角色的人

搭配~ for   …的代用品

例句   He used the Internet as a surrogate for contact with real people.

他用互联网替代了与真人的交流接触。

近义词   substitute, proxy, representative, stand-in

He’d slip me pocket money now and again after my mother said I’d had enough.

slip to put sth somewhere quickly, quietly or secretly

 迅速放置；悄悄塞；偷偷放

例句»I managed to slip a few jokes into my speech.我设法在讲话中穿插了几个笑话。

»They'd slipped the guards some money.他们悄悄塞给卫兵一些钱。

The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women.

Subservient 同义词 "compliant," "obedient," "submissive," or having the qualities of a servant.

1. ~ (to sb / sth) (disapproving) too willing to obey other people恭顺的；卑躬屈膝的

2. ~ (to sth) (formal) less important than sth else 次要；从属于

例句»The needs of individuals were subservient to those of the group as a whole.

个人的需要服从于整个集体的需要。

Thoughts

I immersed myself in those worlds and I came back looking at the world a different way. I saw that not all families are violent. I saw the futility of violence, the cycle that just repeats itself, the damage that’s inflicted on people that they in turn inflict on others.

I saw, more than anything, that relationships are not sustained by violence but by love. Love is a creative act. When you love someone you create a new world for them.

Abel本身很强壮，又是在家庭是男主外，女主内的传统家庭长大的，所以他可能内心也有着女性要顺从的观念，但是又被独立自主的女性Trevor妈妈所吸引。很多传统男人都是这样的吧，娶了传统顺从的白玫瑰，喜欢反叛自主的红玫瑰。所以就不难理解Abel的暴力了，虽然喜欢Trevor妈妈，但是内心的征服欲得不到满足，先是一点暴力的苗头，到后面就愈演愈烈了。当然Abel也是有好的一面的，优秀的汽车修理工，不错的男朋友，暴力之前对Trevor也挺好，给他零花钱，帮他打回欺负他的孩子，虽然打过头了。但是像上一章Trevor说那里很多家庭都是暴力教育，Abel应该也是如此长大的，他们从小就是从挨打中得到教训，然后一代一代延续的恶性循环。所以Trevor说“the cycle that just repeats itself, the damage that’s inflicted on people that they in turn inflict on others.

然而大多时候暴力教育是无用甚至有害的，暴力只会导致暴力，轻视只会导致轻视，爱才会回应爱。relationships are not sustained by violence but by love.。只有爱的教育，才能让孩子健康的成长。

懂得暴力的人是强壮的，然而懂得克制暴力的人才是强大的！