向西之旅（Journey to the West)

中英文/伊卷舒

我的童年，很像一幅年代久远的水墨画，灰暗的色彩，大片的空白，还有简单的造型。吃饭是一菜一汤，穿衣是一洗一换，玩具两三件，家只占筒子楼里的一间屋。架在电线杆上的高音喇叭，每天准时响起，宛若乐队指挥手里的指挥棒，引领着我日常生活的节奏—上学，放学，吃饭，睡觉。

八岁那年的一次偶然，在我童年的这幅平淡的水墨画上，添上了高光的一笔，也让我瞥见了高音喇叭所界定之外的世界。我浑然无为的童年，从此燃起了希望之火，并且开启了我一生向西旅程的起始之点。

那段时间，大学都关了，我爸妈都去农场劳动。诺大的大学校园，只剩下留守的孩子们，空荡荡的。图书馆关了，博物馆关了，生物系的植物园荒芜了，艺术系的琴房也上了锁。有几家商店还开着，可是物质稀缺，大米、白面、菜油、猪肉、豆腐，都得凭票供应。

我爸挨批，被送到很远的煤矿上，我也被划入了另册。常常一个人站在旁边，看着小朋友跳绳，跳房子，捉迷藏。要么走着走着，被不知哪里飞来的弹弓子，打得身上青紫一片。

谭景天是我唯一的朋友，也是我们家邻居。她梳了两根小辫子，脸色苍白，也不招小朋友的待见，八成是因为两年前他们全家被查出了肝炎。景天的爸爸是英语系的教授，说话的声音很好听，看上去很儒雅。我认识的大人里，谭教授是唯一没有下农场的，可能是因为他走路拄着拐杖，要么就是他的肝炎病。

有一天，我和景天在她家的饭桌上搭积木。那盒积木又老又旧，早就不是我们这个年龄的孩子玩的了，可我们只有这么一件玩具，所以我们俩竭力发挥想象，期望搭出一些新意来。

谭教授走过来问我，想不想和景天一块学英语，这样两个女孩就可以一起练习了。

我不是很清楚学英语是怎么回事，可也点头答应了。因为我没有家庭作业，没有课外活动，也没有游戏可玩，唯一的大事就是，周末去郊区的桑树林，为我养的四十条桑蚕，采些桑叶。

谭教授先是把门锁好，然后走到书架前，他先挪开几本红皮的毛主席语录和毛泽东选集，把手伸到书架的最里面，掏出了一本旧书。书的封面是土黄色，书脊有很多磨损，书的边角也卷起来了。封面上，“英语”小小的，而“900”则是大大的，还用不同的颜色，在上面、中间和下方，重复了三遍。太醒目了。

谭教授说，这是美国麦克米兰出版社旧版的《英语900句》，书里有900个句子，大多是日常对话。如果我们学会了这900句，我们可以跑遍全世界，不会走丢的。

第一课只有一个字，“Hello”。我喜欢Hello 的发音。Hi 和 Low 都发升调，很好听。最妙的是，Hello 能用于每一个人。在中国，我们用不同的称谓，招呼不同的人。 比如说，对长辈我们要用敬语，对于平辈就用名字。正好相反，英语里，Hello则是一词同人。如果用同一句话，和每一个人打招呼，那就意味着每一个人都是同样的，平等的。

第二句话是，Good morning/ afternoon/ evening。那会在中国，我们早上，中午，晚上，遇见熟人，就会打招呼说，“你吃早饭了吗？你吃午饭了吗？你吃晚饭了吗？”我爸妈去了农场之后，爷爷来照顾我和弟弟妹妹。我爷爷有青光眼，看不清，他还有小肠疝气，也不太能走路。他会做米饭，如果那天身体还行，也会去农贸市场买些菜。所以对我们来说，吃饭这件事是不能按时按点的。

我好喜欢英语的招呼方式。我可以说，“早上好”，全然不顾是不是真的吃了早饭。我说，“下午好”，“晚上好”，也与是否吃了午饭，晚饭，什么时候吃的，都没有任何关系。这一句打招呼的话，免去了我多少的尴尬和犹豫啊，太好了。

谭教授总是坐在他的办公桌前，很高兴给我们上新课。每一节英语课，他都会走过同样的程序 —关好了门，把书架上的红书搬开，把手伸到书架最里面，掏出这本《英语900句》。

景天和我学的很快。每一句英语，恰似一个碎片，被贴到一块拼板上。 我们一句话一句话地学，拼板一点一点地变大。仿佛是一个新的世界，在我们的眼前，慢慢地展开，那是一个充满了色彩，生命力，自由和平等的世界。

我们学会“谈论各项活动” (第二册第三课)。我们“回想过去”(第二册第八课）。我们“计划未来”。那里有水果，像苹果，梨子和香蕉，餐馆，漂亮的花园，各种体育项目，电影院，跳舞，看电视，还有各种的音乐，流行音乐，爵士乐，古典音乐和摇滚乐......

《英语900句》的每一行字，都为我眼前的那幅画卷，加上了新的一笔。我觉得英语像是一个秘密武器，帮我抵御了俗语恶行的伤害。我的自信心涨了起来。我觉得，我好像爬上了一座高墙，看到了外面世界的精彩缤纷。最重要的是，学习英语把我童年的灰暗岁月，变成了充满希望和梦想的快乐时光。

景天和我等不及地往前面学。终于，我们学到了最后的一课。第900句是，“你了解乔治·艾里奥 (George Eliot) 的作品吗？”

我们完全不知道乔治·艾里奥是谁。我看看景天，景天看看我。我不想让谭教授失望，就回答说，“他一定是一位美国作家。”

谭教授摇摇头，“不对。她是一位英国作家。”

那个瞬间，我才猛醒，我要学的太多啦。我原先以为学完了英语900句，就可以对英美了如指掌的。没有想到，要走的路，还很长。

谭教授又教了我们两本书，《伊索寓言》和《格林童话》。他每次教课，遵循同样的仪式：从红色封面的毛主席语录后面，在书架的拐角里，抽出这些旧书。

后来，我用我爸收集的邮票，跟住在楼上的一个15岁的男孩交换，去他们家借书。从男孩家的书架角落里，我翻出了两本裹着几层红色封皮里面的书，一本是托马斯·哈代的《还乡》，另一本是托尔斯泰的《战争与和平》。

景天和我甚至用糖果，去“贿赂”图书馆的看门人，很像北美的孩子在万灵节的晚上，嘴里念叨着，“糖拿来，要不吓死你”，玩的那套把戏。我们两个偷偷溜进图书馆，“借”了罗伯特·博朗宁的诗集《晚上见面》和欧亨利的《短篇小说集》。

每一本书，帮着我一步一步地走出了我所身陷的沙漠。我慢慢找回了，我的那些被剥夺的生活乐趣，比如说，得到别人平等的对待，得到其他孩子们的笑脸和友善。最主要的是，我感到，一如谢尔曼·阿莱克西在他的那篇《超人和我》的文章中描述的，“我聪明，我骄傲，我幸运…我爱读书。然而，我也知道，我爱读书只是为着一个目的，那就是，我在拯救我自己”。

终于有一天，动乱结束了，大学又开门了。高分的英语成绩，送我进了一所好学校。为了满足从儿时起的好奇心，我想出国看看。我特别想去美国的学校读书，所以，我就考了托福和GRE。我被M大录取了，还拿了五年的全额奖学金，真是让我吃惊又高兴。

《英语900句》的每一行字，开启了我一路向西的漫长旅途。英语本身似乎自带一种神奇的密码，透射出西方社会最根本的原则—-自由，平等，博爱。这些是我在生活中一直追求向往的原则。最为重要的是，在我不断追寻的路上，我发现，学习是最有力量的自我救赎，读书让人们在困境中依旧怀有梦想。只要有书，只要有读书的人，那永远都有希望，而那个希望，或早或晚，总会实现。

（文体：Narrative and Reflection, 记叙与反思，主题：读书与我）

（中英文章都是伊卷舒原作，谢绝转载）

Journey to the West

I learned English when I was about 8, not from school, but from the father of my friend, Jing-tian. They lived next door.

English was not offered in school at the time I grew up in China. Neither was much else. The only classes taught at the elementary school were Chinese and mathematics, and sometimes music and physical education.

It so happened that the University where my parents worked was closed, and both of my parents had been sent to labor camps. The campus looked empty with only youngsters running around, the only ones still staying in the faculty apartment buildings. Libraries were closed because books and magazines were under scrutiny for anti-revolutionary ideas; museums and child centers were not open. Though a few stores remained open, many things were rationed because they were so scarce. Since the entire country was closed to the rest of the world, everyone believed that there was no need to learn English.

In the months after my parents were sent away, things grew even worse, as I found myself to be picked on and mocked by the neighborhood kids, after my dad was categorized as a “Rightist” and taken to the labor camp furthest from the city. I watched, lonely, as other kids played games in the yard, like jump-rope, hopscotch, and hide and seek.

Jing-tian was my only friend. She was a quiet girl with pale skin and two braided pigtails. She was in a similar situation, but for a different reason. Jing-tian and her family had been diagnosed with TB a couple of years ago. Jing-tian’s Dad, Mr. Han, a professor in the English department, was just about the only adult I knew who was not sent down to a labor camp. Perhaps that was because he walked with a cane, or maybe because of his TB.

One day Jing-tian and I were playing with building blocks at their dining table. Though we had grown out of blocks a long time ago, the blocks were the only toy we had. Professor Han asked if I wanted to learn English with Jing-tian so that we two girls could practice English together.

I nodded without knowing what I was getting into. I did not have much homework, no extra-curricular activities, and no games. The only activity I had was on weekends when I made the trip to the suburbs to pick mulberry leaves for the silkworms I was rearing.

On the day of our first English lesson, Professor Han made sure that their apartment door was locked well. Then he went to his bookshelf, removed several red-covered books of Chairman Mao’s quotations and Mao’s selected works, stretched his arm to the far end of the bookshelf, and reached for an old book with curling corners and a dark brown cover.

I immediately liked the cover. It was impressive. The word “English” was quite small, while 900 was huge and repeated three times in different colors. Professor Han said it was an old version of English 900 by the Macmillan Publishing Company of the USA. There were 900 sentences, Professor Han explained, most of which were conversational. If we knew all of them, we could go to any foreign country and survive well.

The first lesson had only one word, “Hello.” That was amazing. I liked the pronunciation of “HELLO,” both “Hi” and “Low” sounded rising in tune and pleasant. The best part was that HELLO could be used to greet everyone. In China, we had to greet different people with different titles. For the elderly, for example, we had to use words of respect whereas for people of the same age, we had to use something else. In contrast, “Hello” in English could be used for everyone. It sounded like one treated all people as equals. If people were greeted in the same way, that meant they were all the same.

What was even more fascinating was the second sentence, “Good morning/afternoon/evening.” In China, depending on the time of the day, we greeted each other by saying: “Did you eat breakfast? Did you eat your lunch? Did you have supper?” My grandpa came to take care of me and my younger siblings after both of my parents were sent to the labor camps. My grandpa had glaucoma, and could hardly see. He also had a hernia so he could not move around very much. He could cook rice, and, on a good day, go to the farmer’s market for vegetables. So for us, meals became an irregular thing, and we never knew for sure when the food would be ready. I quickly found that the English greeting served me well. I could say “Good Morning,” and it didn’t matter if I had breakfast or not. “Good afternoon” and “Good Evening” had nothing to do with if I actually had lunch or supper, or when I had it. How much embarrassment and hesitation was eased with just one greeting. I liked English.

Professor Han always sat at the chair in front of his desk, always ready to give us another lesson. With each new lesson, he would go through the same process -- closing the door, moving the red books away from his bookshelf and reaching deep inside to pull out the precious book.

As days passed, Jing-tian and I learned more and more words and memorized them quickly. Each sentence became a piece in a puzzle. The more we knew, the more fascinating the puzzle became. What that puzzle showed us was a huge picture of a world full of color, life, peace and freedom. We could “Talk about Activities,” which was Section Two of the book, “Talk about the Past” in Lesson Eight of Section Two, and “Ask for Help” and “Plan the Future.” There were fruits, like apples, pears and bananas, restaurants, beautiful gardens, sports, movie theaters, dancing, watching TV, even the music of different kinds, pop, jazz, classical and rock …

Each sentence added a fresh dimension to the new world unfolding before me and lifted me from the reality in which I felt depressed and helpless. The English I learned also seemed to be a secret weapon I possessed, which helped me guard myself against mistreatment by others. I felt empowered with each new sentence of the 900. My self-confidence grew. I began to feel as though I had climbed to the top of a giant wall and caught a glimpse of the forbidden world on the other side. Most importantly, learning English turned my young days of despair into days full of hope and anticipation.

Both Jing-tian and I couldn’t wait to finish the book, and finally we got to the last sentence. The 900th sentence is, “How much do you know about the works of George Eliot?”

We had no clue who George Eliot was. I looked at Jing-tian and she looked at me. I did not want to disappoint Professor Han, so I answered, “He must be an American writer.”

Professor Han shook his head, “No, she was a British writer.”

At that moment, I had a realization that there was still so much to learn. I had wanted to finish English 900 and be armed with the knowledge about western countries like the United States and England. It was then that I understood that I had a long way to go.

Professor Han taught us two more books, Aesop’s Fables and Grimm’s Fairy Tales, using the same ritual: taking the old copies from behind the red-covered books of Chairman Mao and from a corner of his bookshelves. Later, I traded the stamps my Dad collected for years to get permission to the apartment of a 15 year old boy upstairs. Hidden in the corner of the bookshelf and wrapped in red covers, I found The Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy and War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. Jing-tian and I even tried to “bribe” the doorman of the closed library with candies, very similar to Trick or Treat here at Halloween. We snuck into the library and “borrowed” Meeting at Night, a book of poems by Robert Browning and The O. Henry Short Story Collection.

I felt each English book pulled me out from the desert I had gotten stuck in and the desperate situation I had been pushed into. I gained, book by book, the things taken away from me, like the pleasure to be treated as an equal, the smiling faces and kind words from other kids, and adults as well. Most of all, I felt, just as Sherman Alexie described feeling about the power of literacy in his essay “Superman and Me”, “I was smart. I was arrogant. I was lucky…I loved those books, but I also knew that the love had only one purpose. I was trying to save my life” .

The day finally came when, after the years of chaos, the universities re-opened, and thanks to my high score on the English test, I became a student of a prestigious university.

To satisfy my curiosity of western society from those childhood days, I longed to travel abroad. I also developed a strong desire to study in an American college, so I took both the TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language) and the GRE. To my great surprise and pleasure, I was accepted by the University of M. and was granted a full scholarship for five years.

Every line from English 900 set me on my journey to the West. The English language seems to carry a secret code by itself, which constantly presents the fundamental principles of western society -- liberty, equality, fraternity. These basic principles in life, which I had been searching for and approaching from the other side of the earth, are so crucial to me, who had grown up being deprived of most of them. Most importantly, along the way I discovered that learning is the most powerful way to save people from difficult situations, and give them hope and expectations. As long as there are books around and there are people, old and young, men and women, who love books, there will always be hope and that hope can surely be turned into reality sooner or later.

海边的早晨