英语写作教学之朝花夕拾（3）

中国学生的作文，中规中矩四平八稳的居多。结构上无懈可击：开头-文章主体-结尾；语法上大错不多，小错不断；用词大众化安全系数高,但读起来味同嚼蜡。举个例子：

The man walked down the street . Along the way , he saw a dog. Then he saw a car going past . It just missed a young boy who was crossing the street . He steeped in some water and then turned around and went home .

看看段落中所用的动词：walk, see , go , miss , cross , turn ，都是大路货。读完整段，知道在讲什么，但脑海中无法浮现与之相关的具象场景，人物特征或动作细节。按照英语中的“show and tell ”的分野，这是在告诉我们一些事实（tell），而没有向我们展示一幅图画（show）。

刚才的段落，如果要用展示的手法来叙述，可以变成这样：

The frail , elderly tramp hobbled down the side walk , his white hair waving in the breeze . Suddenly , he noticed a black-and-white pup waddliing in the damp grass by the curb. It barked at him and scampered away . He snorted at the dog in disgust. Then he froze ! A blond boy  in blue denim dashed into the street , just as a red Benz sedan roared towards him. The horn of the car blared as the speeding driver swerved, narrowly missing the child. Distracted by the near accident ，the tramp stepped into a large mud puddle , drowning his shoes in muck. Disheartened and shaking , he turned and plodded slowly toward a house in the distance .

与第一段相比，这一段多了不少形容词，具象动词和细节描写，顿时有了一种画面感。

两段相比，高下立判。