TTT takeaways_The person who can

What impressed me most is you must have an emotional and selfish reason in order to devote yourself in something. This was written after I attended the two-day TTT workshop in last August. 

Selfish is something I always want to avoid as I have a very selfish mom in my view.

I'm not exactly sure why I joined toastmasters and participated in all kinds of activities, until recently.

Two weeks ago, on Saturday morning, I asked my son to brush the teeth. He said he did already. What? I was in the bathroom and I didn't see he did it, how could that be possible? Then I shouted at him and he cried. My husband came home after morning run.

We stop quarrel, then I realize there is no breakfast. Then I was angry that my mom said she hadn't had breakfast as I believed she already had breakfast outside by herself on the weekend without waiting us.

My husband stop me, and I said, I know my mom better than you. You don't know her. She is so selfish and ready to tell a lie anytime. 

My husband said, "I don't want to talk to you, you already make two family members unhappy." 

Do you believe a toastmaster will criticize her mom? Do you believe a female toastmaster can make a good conversation with her husband? That's me.

Thank god I have AAC training in the afternoon so I stop there and go for late breakfast with my son. I was a bit down in the AAC training. Nevertheless, I still found the training very helpful and felt refreshed. The most impressive part is evaluation sharing from Always Chang. The whole purpose of evaluation is to make your suggestion easily adopted by others and inspire others for a better future. 

Why I don't replace criticism by evaluation at home?

If you ever feel unhappy and don't know what to do, come to toastmasters activities.

Last Wednesday, our company held an inclusion and diversity session. In the beginning the host mentioned that more than 100 session was held already to promote inclusion and diversity.

From a sudden I realize inclusion simply means I accept others as who they are. Why I can't accept my mom as who she is and whatever she did.

The only reason I criticize her on anything is I won't do that.

I won't do that. Why I use myself to judge others? I was not her, I wouldn't know how she grow up and what she experience.

Every time after I made my mom unhappy, I could tell she was unhappy but I just couldn't stop criticizing her. As a result I was very unhappy and be shamed on what I did.

That's not what I want.

My fellow toastmasters won't allow me to criticize my mom,Confucius wouldn't allowed too.

I went home and apologize to my mom.

I also called my mother-in-law and told her I missed her stay with us as that was so very helpful. I knew she was happy when hearing this at the other end of the call. 

Make other people happy is so simple, accept who they are. I am so happy that I can make my family member happier. 

This is most important thing I learned from TTT program is I find my selfish reason to join toastmasters, attend all kinds of activities.

I want to be the person who can help others become better and happier. This is my selfish reason to become a leader, a trainer.

This is exactly what Jeff did to me. Most of you have attended the workshop so I wouldn't repeat what Jeff taught us. I want to share two personal interaction with Jeff. Yes, personal!

First is my invitation to him for a sharing session in our club. I invited him to come to our club for a sharing right after the workshop last August.

And he said yes, it's an honor and pleasure to speak at your club. Then I keep postpone the schedule due to various reasons, but Jeff never get bored and refuse me.

He said: Anytime is a good time for me, always a pleasure to help you.

He asked: what do you feel is most useful for your members?

He proposed the whole meeting theme is about engaging and influencing a decision maker at work.

He showed his humbleness, generosity, and patient in the whole conversation.

Second is his guidance to me on the revision of TTT workshop summary.

This is my first draft! What I didn't expect is Jeff challenged me to shorten it into one A4. What MUST the audience know?

I was so glad that Jeff pointed this out as I do have this problems. When my boss ask me for a one pager summary, I always gave her two and she didn't challenge me and give me a way out. But Jeff did.

Two weeks later, I gave him this, and I said I cut something out and add something in, no idea how to cut further.

And Jeff gave me a few tips.

(1) Identify the group of people reading your report.

(2) What info will help them improve? 

(3) Use a simple format WHAT -  WHY - HOW report format.  State WHAT the learning point is, WHY it's important, and HOW the reader can use it.

(4) The summary doesn't need to have proper and full sentences.

And last, only share vital info!

One week later I sent this back. Yeah, I was able to fix them in one pager!

And this is what Jeff sent back in the evening! Take a look! Unbelievable right? Much nicer look!

I use WHAT -  WHY -HOW report format to fill in the table and this is the final version!

One more tips, always be caution when sending word format as the format can change. Pdf is sooooo good and professional and inviting to read.

This is such unique journey I have ever been, instructive, joyful and extremely useful and exceeding expectations.

I feel so lucky that fellow toastmasters, my colleagues and Jeff influence me and make me a better person. The most important thing I learned from the TTT program is finding a good role model and getting to know whom I want to be. I want to be a person who can help others become better and happier, like what Jeff did to us. If I can't, grow myself first. 

Jack Welch said, before you are leader success is all about growing yourself, when you become a leader, success is all about growing others. Before I can influence others, I want to grow myself. That's why I joined toastmasters. I want to be the person who can help others become better and happier. This is my selfish reason to become a leader, a trainer. 

Attend this contest, is not only to challenge myself, grow myself, but also to share my learning and appreciation to all of you, especially Jeff. Thank you!