Time Management 193 - Only 10% o

Hello everyone, this is Helen Huang @ Organizing, based in Beijing, China. In order to better learn and practice the YiXiaoNeng Time Management System, after finished publishing 100 Chinese articles, I decided to continue writing and publishing a daily English article in another 100 days based on the "YeWuBin Time Management 100 Episodes" audio program. Today is the 193rd day.

Today's topic is: Only 10% of Your Life is Beyond Your Control

Today, we are going to start a new topic - emotions. I want to talk about emotions because time management is based on energy management.

In Lesson 16: Time Management is Energy Management, I mentioned that energy is divided into 4 dimensions: the body, emotions, spirit and ideas. In previous courses, we only discussed energy in its physical form.

I have mentioned that through three basic habits of life plus a small habit, that is, 3 + 1, we can increase the energy of our body. These include: early hours, exercise, healthy diet and meditation. Emotion is a very important component of our energy, which affects the level and nature of our energy. So today, let's discuss how we manage our emotions.

Anthony Robbins, a world-class trainer, thinks that the two keys to success are time management and emotion management. You can see that how we manage our emotions has a large impact on our energy level.

I think if a person is tired or despondent, it is hard for him or her to work efficiently. If you didn't sleep well, you will feel tired the next day; or if you had a fight with someone, you will feel disappointed and have little energy. So, what will affect our mood?

I will share a very important rule! The rule came from Leon Festinger, an American social psychologist: 10% of your life is made up of things that happened to you, and the other 90% is determined by how you react to it. In other words, only 10% of your life is beyond your control, you still have 90% to work with. But often we let that 10% control how we feel about the 90% instead of taking control ourselves.

As an example, let's look at a situation together.

A man put his expensive watch on the edge of the kitchen sink while he was washing dishes. His wife then put his watch on the table so it wouldn't get wet. However, when their son arrived and went to bring bread to the table, he accidentally brushed the watch off the table and it fell to ground with a thud. The watch was broken. The man became very angry and hit his son. He also scolded his wife for moving the watch to the table. The wife argued that she was just trying to help keep the watch from getting wet. But the man said his watch was waterproof. You shouldn't do that. Then the fight escalated and became very heated.

Angrily, the man skipped breakfast and left the house in a hurry to drive to work. Before he arrived, he suddenly remembered that he had forgotten to take his briefcase, so he turned around and headed back home immediately. But no one was home and the door was locked. His son was at school and his wife was at work. The key to the door of their house was in his briefcase, so he could not get in. So he had to call his wife to bring the key to him.

After receiving the call, his wife drove home hastily and knocked down the roadside fruit stand. The owner asked her for compensation. She had to pay a lot of money to compensate the owner.

After the father got his briefcase and rushed to the company, he was 15 minutes late and strictly criticized by his boss. As a result, his mood soured even more to the point of anger. He started a fight with his colleagues about something very trivial.

Meanwhile, his wife's monthly attendance bonus was deducted because of her unexcused and sudden absence. And their son who had a baseball game that day was eliminated in the first round. He was expected to win, but because he was hit by his father that morning, he felt guilty and it resulted in an unsatisfactory performance.

In this example, the broken watch is the 10%, but the following chain reaction of negative events is the 90%.

What would have happened if the man had responded differently? Suppose, instead of getting angry, the father comforted the child and said, "Don't worry, son. I can get this watch fixed. It's not your fault.”The son's guilt would be comforted, his wife would be happy, and his own mood would be stable. And all of those ensuing events in the chain reaction would not have taken place.

You may not have control over the 10% of random events that occur in your life, but you can control the 90% that come after it through your controlled state of mind and behavior. So the rule we have learned today is: 10% of life is made up of things that happen to you, and the other 90% is determined by how you react to what happened.

True learning comes from reflecting on what happened shortly after it took place, so don't forget to use your diary to look at your actions and how you respond to the 10%. That's all for today. Thank you for listening. In the next lesson, we will continue to talk about emotion management.

Thank you being with me together today. Have a wonderful day!